wispfox

I do not get enough cuddling in my life. Currently, it's basically only metahacker. jasra and I are working on it, on our end. The fact that I will tend to forget to be cuddly with people if I've not been doing enough cuddling does not help.

One of the best things about the wedding I just attended was feeling comfortable saying to a couple of women I had just met that I would like to be cuddling them. And then, we did so. One was more comfortable with cuddling than the other, I suspect due purely to experience with it. But. Cuddles. Cuddles with no purpose beyond simple touch.

Also, fabulous dog whose purpose in life is to be cuddly (literally, that's what she's being trained for). :)

I really, really miss contexts in which the cultural norm of 'touch must be sexual or at least have a sexual overtone' has been subverted. I mean, I don't tend to be cuddly with people if I'm not attracted to them somehow or another ("attracted" as in "drawn to" or "fascinated by" or "want to know better" - no specific goal beyond that), but it feels like a world of difference between "hey, you're nifty" and "My only purpose for touching you is because I want to get into your pants at the earliest possible opportunity". The attendees at this weekend's wedding, thankfully basically free of that cultural norm. So, I actually let hugs last as long as they would naturally do so. And didn't feel uncomfortable at random back massages as part of hugs (and indeed gave such as part of hugs myself). I am not trying to suggest that there was no interest, just that it wasn't the point of the touch.

I'm also _utterly_ delighted by the fact that, unlike usual, one of the women there was first to suggest the idea of trading contact information. It can get very, very tiring to always be the one asking for more interaction with interesting women, y'know? (I'm typically not as drawn to lengthen interactions with men, and the fact that I'm acutely aware of not dating any women appears to only have increased this trend more toward finding women more interesting) I think the last woman who was first to suggest more interactions (or perhaps mutual of said) after our first interaction was jasra. (and before that was the_xtina)

I can never tell if that's because they are shy to suggest more interaction, there is not sufficiently strong mutual fascination, or what. And I often feel like I come on too strong when I find someone fascinating, which rarely helps when interacting with a woman.

Because I got a really startling answer recently when I asked this question, it's now a poll! (no cheating and checking my user info)

Answers viewable to none, because otherwise I'd have to tell people I'm dating not to answer.

[Poll #1053733]

Hmm. Ignore the 'don't care' piece of the multiple answer one, since it doesn't quite fit with the rest of them.

Link found on mactavish's journal:

"Fag. This is what I heard someone call my little boy today. I didn’t ignore it. I asked. I glared. What did you say?"


I don't _want_ to go to bed, even though I'm tired. I think this may be related to the fact that I'm constantly tired. Stupid February. Oddly, today was _very_ Spring-like. What a strange winter this is.


( musings on Joe being back in .au and such )

[Boston area] dilletante notes that someone is paying attention to what motivates professional research subjects. BRAAAAAAINS.

dglenn has a delightful mathematics and sex-related quote.


I'm doing a startlingly good job of ignoring the fact that australian_joe leaves tomorrow, since thinking about it is unlikely to be, in any way, helpful. And, well, there is time _today_.

And I'm pleased by the fact that I appear to have _finally_ gotten to a state where some final thing clicked in my head relating to the reality of him (and us). It's kinda like there was something in my head which hadn't gotten enough of... something (time in-person?), so it was still holding out. Or something. And now that isn't true anymore. More of the comfortable/right, and less of the disbelief. And I really don't know how to word this, so I stop.

I do wonder if this will a) reduce my excessive clinginess when he visits (or at least make it last for less long), and b) reduce my difficulty with time apart, and perhaps the degree to which my time apart timeout has a negative effect on things. We shall see!

A reply to a comment in my journal way back with my indexing/faces/etc musings felt like something I ought to post, as well. (this did get quite a lot longer than the original reply, however)

The question was in terms of how I develop a sense of someone's core self, in terms of I get the whole thing all at once, or if I get more and more of it as I get to know them better.


( My reply, lj-cut because it was too long for me to be happy not doing so )

Very good weekend. Very good couple of weeks, really.

australian_joe returns to Australia today (every time I try to say 'returns home', my brain gets confused because he's _not_ going to be at my home! Weird...). It'll be really, really strange to go home tonight and not have him there. Periodically missed him a little over the last couple of days - it's always strange to miss someone who isn't gone yet! Hell, he's _still_ not gone, but may as well be from my perspective, since I'm at work.

Yep. Much missing of him. But, I shall cope. I always do! (asking me if I'll be ok will never have a useful answer - I will always be ok!) No longer being in an uncertain state is good. And having a decent sense of him to draw upon is also good.

Got lots and lots of good cuddling and touch and such. This is a very good thing! Yes.

*purrs, stretches* It's been a while since I was around someone whose idea of 'enough' touch is similar enough to mine to not pose problems. (in not getting as much as I would like, or in them wanting more than I do - rare, but does happen)

Accent not picked up because it's not yet one for which I do not have to modify my brain's translation software. But I suspect strongly that there will be new words in my vocabulary. ;)


And... some (unrelated) quotes from my calendar from over the weekend!

"Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves." -Carl Jung

"The world is so constructed that if you wish to enjoy its pleasures, you also must endure its pains." -Swami Brahmananda

New topic in my head! Everyone rejoice! ;)

Also - it'll probably be apparent, but this is stuff I'm still trying to figure out/verbalize/understand.

( ok, I expect to be babbling, so cutting this )