wispfox

I exist, even in mid-February.

It's true!

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I do not get enough cuddling in my life. Currently, it's basically only metahacker. jasra and I are working on it, on our end. The fact that I will tend to forget to be cuddly with people if I've not been doing enough cuddling does not help.

One of the best things about the wedding I just attended was feeling comfortable saying to a couple of women I had just met that I would like to be cuddling them. And then, we did so. One was more comfortable with cuddling than the other, I suspect due purely to experience with it. But. Cuddles. Cuddles with no purpose beyond simple touch.

Also, fabulous dog whose purpose in life is to be cuddly (literally, that's what she's being trained for). :)

I really, really miss contexts in which the cultural norm of 'touch must be sexual or at least have a sexual overtone' has been subverted. I mean, I don't tend to be cuddly with people if I'm not attracted to them somehow or another ("attracted" as in "drawn to" or "fascinated by" or "want to know better" - no specific goal beyond that), but it feels like a world of difference between "hey, you're nifty" and "My only purpose for touching you is because I want to get into your pants at the earliest possible opportunity". The attendees at this weekend's wedding, thankfully basically free of that cultural norm. So, I actually let hugs last as long as they would naturally do so. And didn't feel uncomfortable at random back massages as part of hugs (and indeed gave such as part of hugs myself). I am not trying to suggest that there was no interest, just that it wasn't the point of the touch.

I'm also _utterly_ delighted by the fact that, unlike usual, one of the women there was first to suggest the idea of trading contact information. It can get very, very tiring to always be the one asking for more interaction with interesting women, y'know? (I'm typically not as drawn to lengthen interactions with men, and the fact that I'm acutely aware of not dating any women appears to only have increased this trend more toward finding women more interesting) I think the last woman who was first to suggest more interactions (or perhaps mutual of said) after our first interaction was jasra. (and before that was the_xtina)

I can never tell if that's because they are shy to suggest more interaction, there is not sufficiently strong mutual fascination, or what. And I often feel like I come on too strong when I find someone fascinating, which rarely helps when interacting with a woman.

Natural break in my work, and a need to leave in a few minutes means that I actually have time to write a post! Shock!

( because it's polite! )

Many, many thanks to whispercricket, teinedreugan, and jasra for packing help yesterday, and to hfcougar for pre-painting wall cleaning today! I keep having an urge to thank people when I see them; when you consider that I live with hfcougar, it turns out that I have to bite my tongue a lot or risk being annoying.

But help! Yay help! And company! (which I also have sometimes when metahacker and I pack things together, like today. :)

In theeeeory, galaneia returns tomorrow. In practice we'll see; they've said this for three days now.

Realizing that I might be able to get a recommendation from a professor from undergrad who knows me decently well, rather than one from someone who doesn't really know me well, so I actually have two decent academic recommendations. And, when I pinged the professor, being remembered without prompting. (Yes, I sometimes forget that I'm memorable. Being poor at remembering people doesn't help, mind you)

Working on essays for grad school is startlingly easy, for the most part. (less so the parts where I feel like I do not know enough, but that's something that can be worked on.) I do sometimes forget that, while I don't really write stories, I am a decent writer. At least on a computer (I lose track of what I'm saying if it's on paper)

I may not yet be at a point where I'm adjusted to my sleep ability without ativan, but I am at least no longer getting up every hour or two during the night. (once or twice is much better than every hour or two!)

When I remember to take it, migraine meds _work_. (now we just need to make sure that I don't get addicted to the caffeine in them, since until I sleep better I need them every morning)

Hugs. Also, hugs.

Continuing to see jasra regularly.

Living with metahacker.

Living with galaneia.

Making tasty stir-fry with galaneia's help.

The sheer glee with which hfcougar reacts to NSPy's antics. Glee!

Kitty!

OMG, Cataclysm.

Inspiring starandrea.

And there was time with jasra, and it was very, very good.

We haven't really had time which wasn't involved with me packing or something in weeks.

And while today was largely involved in unpacking things and making my room more a _room_, and perhaps more _my_ room, there was still lots of being with jasra, who I missed very much. And wasn't really entirely aware of it, since I was so stressed.

And also... we've lived together for long enough that she _knows_ me and my habits and preferences and so can help get me un-stuck, which I very very much was with unpacking and getting settled into my room. So I needed my jasra to help me with my room and my organizing. And also we traded furniture for what was in her car with what I had in my room. Which had a _huge_ effect on my sanity, because it meant more bedside table space and also some drawers for things.

There was a jasra, there is increased sanity in my room and decorations on my walls put up with her help and her eye for decorating, and it is good.

And then there was unexpected time with metahacker in my dramatically improved mental state, which is why I'm up so late. Which was also very, very good. (I have been in no fit state to be around for weeks. I hate moving)

(I suspect much of why I was so wrecked Saturday - exhausted to the point of falling asleep repeatedly, cold/flu-like symptoms - is because I had my room's sanity improve Friday and stopped being on high alert. And then crashed, hard)

But now, sleep.

And eventually, wall shelving. And picture hooks or something with which to put my small white board on my wall. Because I really missed having it around to write notes to myself on!

Y'know, as someone who often has trouble knowing when people are serious, April Fool's day is just evil.

In other news, it's April! Moving month! My brain is being _eaten_ by this fact, regardless of if I can actually move things at any given moment.

*continues to succeed in not packing more things from her walls, to the probable relief of both jasra and metahacker*

Maybe tonight I'll try organizing things that I _have_ packed to make better sense for where they are going... I'm not sure there's really much of anything else I can pack until it's closer to us being moved out, so.

Oooh! I can bring things we don't want to appropriate locations... that's what I can do tonight. Makes more space, too!

Jittery girl is jittery!

Creme brule ice cream: cold, interesting, and OMG sweet.

Having had galaneia and metahacker recall my perhaps excessive fondness for creme brule's crackly goodness and obtain ice cream based on that? Utterly, utterly charming.

Can has my _own_ miniatures to practice painting on.

My family appears to be invading Facebook. I am... perplexed!

I can has room dimensions with which to play!

Because being overly tired, loopy, and giggly is the _best_ time to remember to call my sister. :) (awwwwww voicemail!)

There is an unexpected jasra!

For some reason, "photos and bananas" is making me giggly. I have noooo idea. Blame the_xtina's post.

Ok, off to play with online room dimensions tools.

Baby red pandas!

Simple Wikipedia

Getting good time, chatting, and cuddles with my cuddly wordsmith of a sweetie.

Going to the Butterfly Place with a quite gleeful, photo-taking galaneia, where there were also some utterly adorable tiny birds. And hungry, hungry goldfish with gaping mouths.

It's almost not February anymore!

Snuggly, chatty jasra, and knowing that we will continue to see each other weekly when we are not roommates.

Being productive.

Having had a visit from randysmith last week, and getting time with majes this week.

Lasting slightly longer at a party of people I largely don't know than I expected to do, especially considering it was after spending time around small children at the Butterfly Place.

Boxes. And filling them with stuff.

Realizing that my wrist was cranky because it wanted more (non-computer) use, not because the computer use was itself problematic to the point of danger.

Sunlight.

Actually feeling my sleep meds kick in last night and being sleepy because of it (means my brain isn't going too fast for them to counteract).