wispfox

What if fireflies only look like bugs when you get really close because they don't want you to know that they are fairies with glowsticks?

Or if the ghost plant really _is_ where fairies dance, and they light up oh so slightly when you aren't looking?

Maybe the wind and everything it moves - leaves, clouds, birds - are playing, dancing, putting on a show. How do you know they aren't?

Maybe rivers are talking to you as they rush past and yet stay where they are, or singing, or laughing. Maybe they're tickling the creatures which live in them, seeing if they can make them giggle.

Sometimes I need to be reminded to play, to stop being so stuck in what's likely or realistic or expected, to enjoy swingsets and trees and clouds and wind. Sometimes 'let's pretend' is the most important game I can play, no matter what I call it.

I've never been sure if it matters if energy work, astral travel, things like that are real or not, if they are useful tools or ways of thinking about things. If they have good effects, if they calm me.

I ground, I center. Why? Because if I don't, I lose my calm and can't get it back again.

Sometimes I wander around the insides of my mind, or maybe the insides of the astral plane. I don't care if it's real or not, although that was a very difficult thing to come to agreement with myself on, because it _helps_ me. Maybe it's a form of meditation, although that's not what I would call it.

As a child, I would sing to the creek in the backyard, because it was singing, too. I can remember long duets, although I remember no notes nor words. I still talk to and hug trees, and when I forget how to ground, they can help me to do so. Birds in flight, especially swallows and swifts, look like they are having so much _fun_, even though they are also hunting for their food. And maybe they are.

Silence and stillness help me to see what's around me, rather than just moving quickly through it. I'm no longer passing through, I'm part of things, and that's important to me. It's far too easy to forget to look, forget to listen, forget why it's so important to me to do so. And then I'm unhappy and I don't know why. I think this may be why I am so insistent on sharing bits of beauty and amusement with people when I notice them. Because I forget to look, so other people likely do, too.

This entry most probably brought to you by some combination of creating a Changeling character and attempting to start work on grad school essays. Also perhaps a certain amount of lack of sleep.

Having WUMB be not quite full signal - at least in the areas I tend to be in to and from work - means that sometimes I'll get evangelical stations, instead. It's really quite odd. And annoying.

The scents of working on cars reminds me of my dad, as I was reminded on Sunday. I didn't even help much, and my hands _still_ smelled like his always tended to (he doesn't tend to smell like that as much now, though).

I'm pleased that I am, apparently, able to stay with specific people (rather than just a group at large) during journey work. I thought so, but had not needed to check until recently.

Landline not yet turned on at new place; on the phone with Verizon to determine why. Meh. Oh. Huh! Fun... there's something wrong with the phone line, and they're working on it. I might have a landline by the 30th, and DSL will be 5-6 days after that. *sigh*

It's _strange_ having no net access from home. But then, I've had net access at the places I've lived for... 8-ish years. If not more; I'm not sure if I had it from home my first few years in college.

It's really useful to remember to _shield_ my new place. Slept much better last night, once I realized why I was having so much trouble with getting to sleep. Also appear to have the interesting (and not altogether unexpected) ability to remotely remove a shield on a place with which I am sufficiently familiar, as I removed the shield on the Andover place from my bedroom in Woburn, and successfully transferred most of the energy and intent to the new place. Will have to reinforce the shields again, when I'm not half conscious, but it did help quite a lot.

So far, I'm liking the audio book thing, although it's a bit annoying to only have two books out at a time (considering that time includes time to get to me, back to them, and have another one sent to me). Probably not annoying enough, at least as of yet, for me to decide to upgrade to three out at a time, instead of two, since it costs more.

Construction on 495 is making it amazingly difficult to determine how long my commute would 'normally' be. It's been ~50 minutes lately, though. Hopefully it's more like 40 without the construction. Tomorrow morning, I think I attempt to avoid 495 entirely, using directions brynndragon constructed for me.

Andover apartment is nearly empty, which is good. Tonight, I think I empty the fridge and freezer, grabbing anything else that will fit into my car. Depending on when I arrive at Woburn, I may attempt to stop by Diesel, as I'm really missing people. Large group is better than nothing, at this point. Probably ~7:30-8, I suspect, if I make it at all. Are poly boston people even still there that late on Tuesdays? Not sure if I'll go or not, since Ash is seeming very people-deprived, himself, since I keep going to Andover to get stuff, after work, and doing a lot of unpacking when I'm home, and I have no roommate right now.

Some things that I don't think I ever mentioned here, in any of my random and not so random references to energy work and similar things. Yes, this is intentionally not filtered.

( cut for those who don't want to read about woo woo stuff )

I've been idly trying to determine if there is already some sort of counseling type around which is willing to consider the possibility of energy work as valid, and which is completely aware of people's spirituality as a factor.

It's mildly amusing, but I do seem to be having a draw towards a counseling-type career path, presuming I can figure out a way to only be dealing with people who actively want to be there and to figure things out about themselves and their lives.

Amusing because I have a mother who is a school psych, and an older sister who I'd swear just finished a masters (? or further) in counseling. Runs in the family, just a bit. (Or, as I think they'd both say, people go into it because they, themselves, need or have needed healing, so understand. Or maybe it was that only crazy people want to try to help out the rest of the crazy people. Something like that. I'm not remembering the exact words, but they were amusing)

And... I _want_ to include energy work and such types of healing in with any counseling I do, so if I can manage to find a school with that intentionally a part of it (or at least with spirituality as an understood part of it), all the better. I wish I had better words for what I'm trying to say here...

And I wish I didn't feel an awful lot like what I'm looking for has tended to go along with organized religions, and probably doesn't really exist outside that category. *sigh* I don't _like_ having to create my own category! I do it too much...

Anyone have any idea? Note that I do _not_ want to go to a school with specifically catholic or christian leanings, because I got tired of that as a kid. Unless they are very _quiet_ leanings. Not with the trying to convert me...

Ok. I babble. And I really _should_ try to sleep, even if my brain is all being annoying.

(yes, I know, I have a filter for energy work stuff. I don't feel like using it!)

( But I will be kind and lj-cut )

Note to self (and anyone who might think to remind me):

DO NOT FORGET TO SHIELD WHEN LEAVING HOMEPORT!

(yes, yes, yes - Obscene Magic 8-ball says 'Fucking _DUH_!' ;) WANT Obscene Magic 8-ball!)

I've done this twice; tonight, and Friday night. I was _wondering_ why I was having such trouble getting needed distance from the single negative in my life right now!

Sheesh...

(which does, of course, beg the question of who/what the hell I was picking up on, that shielding had an effect! *shakes head*)

Also, I'm very pleased by people who, when words _completely_ fail me, still know what I was trying to say. Yes... is _good_.

OK, sleep now.