[link & other stuff]
Feb. 5th, 2005 09:38 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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mactavish's journal:
"Fag. This is what I heard someone call my little boy today. I didn’t ignore it. I asked. I glared. What did you say?"
I don't _want_ to go to bed, even though I'm tired. I think this may be related to the fact that I'm constantly tired. Stupid February. Oddly, today was _very_ Spring-like. What a strange winter this is.
I do, indeed, appear to have recovered much more rapidly afteraustralian_joe's return to Australia than I did the last time, even if I don't adjust for how very much more difficult it was immediately after he left, this time. Is possible that I'm just better at distracting myself, but I'm skeptical.
I think it relates to whatever it was that clicked into place in my head this visit, apparently making him (and us) more solid in my head (if nothing else, we now have had 5 weeks of in-person time, rather than 2!). I also think that that clicking may be why it was so much more difficult the first couple days after he left (even when adjusting for season modulo SAM-e, that was bad. Without the SAM-e, that would probably have been just about a normal reaction, although perhaps a little stronger than I'd have expected).
I do appear to be much less chatty on the phone, though, which is similar to the last time immediately after he'd returned to .au (fascinatingly, my brain utterly refuses to say 'returned home'). It's difficult to adjust back to solely words (especially spoken ones! I'm much better with written ones. As evidenced by the rather insane amount and length of email he's received from me since he left. ;) when one is so _very_ in-person- and touch-oriented.
I do note, however, that this _is_ a less chatty time of year for me, overall. Is possible that I'd have been less chatty on the phone from mid-Jan until March even had he _not_ just left. And I think I was less chatty - and more touch-oriented - while he was here this time than I was last summer. Even adjusting for the stronger reality of things in my head, I mean.
Have I recently mentioned how utterly amazing it is to me that this whole insanely long-distance and not-expected-to-not-be-this-way relationship is actually _working_, and working well (better than any past relationships I've had, even)? Yeah. Amazement. :) (the idea of suggesting to myself before APC10 that I'd be seriously involved with someone on the other side of the damn planet is amusing the hell out of me, though. Actually, I think I'd have been skeptical for a few months _after_ APC10, although I can't remember when I first started contemplating that idea)
mactavish's journal:"Fag. This is what I heard someone call my little boy today. I didn’t ignore it. I asked. I glared. What did you say?"
I don't _want_ to go to bed, even though I'm tired. I think this may be related to the fact that I'm constantly tired. Stupid February. Oddly, today was _very_ Spring-like. What a strange winter this is.
I do, indeed, appear to have recovered much more rapidly after
australian_joe's return to Australia than I did the last time, even if I don't adjust for how very much more difficult it was immediately after he left, this time. Is possible that I'm just better at distracting myself, but I'm skeptical.I think it relates to whatever it was that clicked into place in my head this visit, apparently making him (and us) more solid in my head (if nothing else, we now have had 5 weeks of in-person time, rather than 2!). I also think that that clicking may be why it was so much more difficult the first couple days after he left (even when adjusting for season modulo SAM-e, that was bad. Without the SAM-e, that would probably have been just about a normal reaction, although perhaps a little stronger than I'd have expected).
I do appear to be much less chatty on the phone, though, which is similar to the last time immediately after he'd returned to .au (fascinatingly, my brain utterly refuses to say 'returned home'). It's difficult to adjust back to solely words (especially spoken ones! I'm much better with written ones. As evidenced by the rather insane amount and length of email he's received from me since he left. ;) when one is so _very_ in-person- and touch-oriented.
I do note, however, that this _is_ a less chatty time of year for me, overall. Is possible that I'd have been less chatty on the phone from mid-Jan until March even had he _not_ just left. And I think I was less chatty - and more touch-oriented - while he was here this time than I was last summer. Even adjusting for the stronger reality of things in my head, I mean.
Have I recently mentioned how utterly amazing it is to me that this whole insanely long-distance and not-expected-to-not-be-this-way relationship is actually _working_, and working well (better than any past relationships I've had, even)? Yeah. Amazement. :) (the idea of suggesting to myself before APC10 that I'd be seriously involved with someone on the other side of the damn planet is amusing the hell out of me, though. Actually, I think I'd have been skeptical for a few months _after_ APC10, although I can't remember when I first started contemplating that idea)
