link!

Mar. 26th, 2011 08:26 pm
wispfox: (Default)
My sweetie [livejournal.com profile] metahacker posted "Boys don't know how to say no (to sex)".

You should go read!

Especially if you've any awareness of the user who accused Dragon Age II of not properly catering for the straight male gamer, but that was more the trigger than the point.

Feminism

Jul. 7th, 2010 09:19 pm
wispfox: (Default)

Via [livejournal.com profile] the_xtina, Coping with less or non-feminist people without having no friends at all. I also really liked the following quote:

"If I can’t identify the importance of my limits, my boundaries, my needs, I find I also tend to dismiss other people’s stated preferences. As in, “Well, I don’t have the luxury of giving up, so I don’t see why you do.” My expectations are my own, and they apply to nobody but me."

links

Oct. 16th, 2009 02:47 pm
wispfox: (Default)
From elsejournal.

http://kateharding.net/2009/10/08/guest-blogger-starling-schrodinger%E2%80%99s-rapist-or-a-guy%E2%80%99s-guide-to-approaching-strange-women-without-being-maced/

This was startlingly difficult to read. I do forget how constantly I expect strangers, especially men, to talk to me. No matter what I'm doing. I forget that I'm constantly aware of how dangerous my surroundings - including the people in it - appear to be.

Very good article.

[edit: for added fun, throw in that I'm largely face blind - so even people that I _know_ will initially parse as strangers - and that have significant trouble reading body language]
wispfox: (Default)
Coherent, I am not today.

[livejournal.com profile] naamah_darling is more coherent, and says The Bush administration officially proposes conscience rule for doctors who don't want to do their fucking jobs, and "There are no provisions for assisting women who have been denied -- none. No statement that a doctor must help the woman find another doctor who will help her. No offers to help with transportation, should a woman need to go to a different city to get help. Nothing. We get nothing. We are their patients and we are not only being put behind our employees' consciences, we are being left with nothing as recourse" among other things.

It's in a 30 day public comment period.

please comment. Or donate to Planned Parenthood.
wispfox: (Default)
Coherent, I am not today.

[livejournal.com profile] naamah_darling is more coherent, and says The Bush administration officially proposes conscience rule for doctors who don't want to do their fucking jobs, and "There are no provisions for assisting women who have been denied -- none. No statement that a doctor must help the woman find another doctor who will help her. No offers to help with transportation, should a woman need to go to a different city to get help. Nothing. We get nothing. We are their patients and we are not only being put behind our employees' consciences, we are being left with nothing as recourse" among other things.

It's in a 30 day public comment period.

please comment. Or donate to Planned Parenthood.
wispfox: (equality)
A poll regarding harassment of women, via [livejournal.com profile] asim. No words, I stole & rearranged his. :)
wispfox: (equality)
A poll regarding harassment of women, via [livejournal.com profile] asim. No words, I stole & rearranged his. :)
wispfox: (equality)
All of the conversations that have sprung up as a result of that now-infamous post re asking to touch women's breasts just make me _tired_.

Tired of living in a world where one of the ealiest things taught to me that I remember struggling to learn was to carry myself as if I knew where I was going and what I was doing, even if I did not (I was very easily lost, very trusting, and very naive).

Tired of having to think, any time I go outside alone at night, especially in an unfamiliar area, if it's safe, if I'm dressed in ways to catch unwanted attention.

Tired of needing to consider whether or not my wanting to dress up in fun/flirty clothing is going to cost me too much in social energy and awareness, both in terms of extra attention and in terms of safety.

Tired of knowing, and _being_ one of, so many women who have been raped, have had unwanted sexual contact from a sibling, have been pressured into being sexually involved with a guy because we just got so tired of saying 'no'.

Tired of knowing that I'm one of the lucky ones. No co-workers of any sort at any time have tried anything. The sibling incident was once, for me. I have never been beaten by anyone at any point. I was able to be sheltered enough growing up that my deep confusion at what people think is normal and right did not end up causing serious damage.

Tired of knowing that so many rapes go unreported, including my own until a _long_ time later. Tired of knowing that I, as with many, many others, blamed myself. Which is why it took so long to call it what it was.

Tired of knowing that domestic abuse is _so damn common_. Indeed, I might almost say expected, in some circles.

That the phrase 'a nice guy' makes me cringe.

That I was so surprised the first time a guy I was dating wanted to go to Take Back The Night with me.

Just. Tired.
wispfox: (equality)
All of the conversations that have sprung up as a result of that now-infamous post re asking to touch women's breasts just make me _tired_.

Tired of living in a world where one of the ealiest things taught to me that I remember struggling to learn was to carry myself as if I knew where I was going and what I was doing, even if I did not (I was very easily lost, very trusting, and very naive).

Tired of having to think, any time I go outside alone at night, especially in an unfamiliar area, if it's safe, if I'm dressed in ways to catch unwanted attention.

Tired of needing to consider whether or not my wanting to dress up in fun/flirty clothing is going to cost me too much in social energy and awareness, both in terms of extra attention and in terms of safety.

Tired of knowing, and _being_ one of, so many women who have been raped, have had unwanted sexual contact from a sibling, have been pressured into being sexually involved with a guy because we just got so tired of saying 'no'.

Tired of knowing that I'm one of the lucky ones. No co-workers of any sort at any time have tried anything. The sibling incident was once, for me. I have never been beaten by anyone at any point. I was able to be sheltered enough growing up that my deep confusion at what people think is normal and right did not end up causing serious damage.

Tired of knowing that so many rapes go unreported, including my own until a _long_ time later. Tired of knowing that I, as with many, many others, blamed myself. Which is why it took so long to call it what it was.

Tired of knowing that domestic abuse is _so damn common_. Indeed, I might almost say expected, in some circles.

That the phrase 'a nice guy' makes me cringe.

That I was so surprised the first time a guy I was dating wanted to go to Take Back The Night with me.

Just. Tired.

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