wispfox

Tired. Cannot tell if it's due to healing from surgery or from depression. (probably both)

Less depressed! Sunlight for multiple days, plus many nifty people helps with that. So does important/necessary conversations occurring and ongoing.

No really, tired. This makes spoken conversation with me _really_ interesting, especially with people who are not yet accustomed to me. What with the fact that I've mostly honed my communication skills online (starting in college, so '94), and much more recently in spoken forms both on phone and in-person (probably in '03, when

australian_joe and I started talking on phones and such). And my auditory processing skills - and my skills with putting things into spoken words - are not great and known to be deficient. _And_ body language skills were actively taught to me (via demonstration and much wordiness) by a friend in high school... so, probably, '92.

I suspect part of why it's taken me so long to figure out how to communicate well may relate to some combination of not realizing how much I was missing conversationally (no body language skills until '92!), no real comprehension of what was note (and conversation)-worthy due to poor (but thankfully not non-existent) ability to draw upon past experience with new situations (eg: when I was first in school, I had no idea that people were supposed to take off their jacket and bookbag, nor that 'you should probably do blah' was actually the teacher assigning homework), and often getting _weird_ reactions to the things that _I_ thought were note-worthy (thus being why until recently I tended to repress most of my random 'look at that!' comments). Also, I credit much conversation on alt.polyamory with helping my communication (and relationship-geeking) skills. Bifem-l, too, before that.

In both written and spoken conversation, it's entirely likely for me to use entirely wrong words and not notice (written makes it easier to notice, but tired greatly reduces likelihood of noticing in either format), 'nonsensical', "just plain wrong', and 'opposite meaning' wrongness. Thankfully, those with whom I tend to be talking comprehend that, no really, it's quite fine and preferred for someone to ask if I meant what I just said, rather than assume that I did. In written conversation, I will also tend to flip words (reversing the order of which word is where), add random words, lose necessary words, and accidentally negate things that did not need negating (or similar methods of saying the opposite of what I meant). I catch most, but not all, of these. And again, tired makes this worse and harder to notice.

Some days, I have no idea how I manage to have any successful conversations (on _or_ offline). *wry* (and then I wonder how I ever manage to meet anyone, what with my facial recognition and name recall problems)

And then I am reminded that I will tend to unconsciously avoid a conversation if I know there is a time limit on conversation length, which then tends to make me go 'wait, did I intentionally not mention foo? Oh, no. Right. I have good reason to actively avoid potentially complex conversations if there is possibility of it being interrupted'. So now I have email to write.

Trying to avoid catching people's colds because I'm almost certainly already pretty compromised health-wise (surgery, depression, la!) is annoying. So is recent surgery and sutures. But at least the sutures are expected to come free on their own before I see the doctor for a follow-up appointment. (Mmm. Girl.)

Wrists less pissed off; still not completely happy with life, though. I'll be careful this week, and I figure I'll be alright again and up to strength work, if next weekend is low-wrist use.

Also? Leaf peeping with

jasra and co-worker of hers was good. Tired being in the car so much, but the part of wachusett mountain that we drive to meant that I was able (and only semi-able to make sure it was ok for me to wander off before doing so) to climb a bit on really easy (and thus non-wrist-requiring and minimal abdomen-requiring) rocky path that went _up_ into some green spaces. I really need to go back when there is time and explore that. Probably with a GPS... Mmmm. Trees. And rocks. And mountain. And height! (yes, Druid! Needed that... woke me up _lots_ and much happy)