[brains, social.relationships]
Nov. 25th, 2005 09:52 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wispfox(posting because I want it in writing for later reference, since I only just managed to put words around it)
I have trouble with being grouped socially if it's not obvious that there is awareness of the uniqueness of the individuals being grouped. Interpersonal examples of this include not seeming to care which person within said group one talks to or spends time with.
I kinda wonder if this relates at all to why I really don't like being a part of groups which are formed solely on a single attribute. (I tend to hang out on fringes of social groups in general, so I doubt it's the entire reason)
[edit: because you people want an example.
Something like an unexpected phone call, with the caller stating a lack of caring as to which of the residents they talk to. No matter who the caller is, or why they called, that'll make me immediately not want to talk to them.]
I have trouble with being grouped socially if it's not obvious that there is awareness of the uniqueness of the individuals being grouped. Interpersonal examples of this include not seeming to care which person within said group one talks to or spends time with.
I kinda wonder if this relates at all to why I really don't like being a part of groups which are formed solely on a single attribute. (I tend to hang out on fringes of social groups in general, so I doubt it's the entire reason)
[edit: because you people want an example.
Something like an unexpected phone call, with the caller stating a lack of caring as to which of the residents they talk to. No matter who the caller is, or why they called, that'll make me immediately not want to talk to them.]
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no subject
Date: 2005-11-26 03:14 pm (UTC)I think I'm fairly frequently in the mode of not caring much which members of a group I talk with, especially when I'm in host mode.
Take Thanksgiving, for example ... I like everybody there, and wanted to connect with each of them over the course of the evening, but the precise order didn't matter to me. As host, I focused more on keeping the group dynamics going smoothly, and on reaching out to someone if they seemed to feel a touch anxious or disconnected -- but motivated more by their/the group's need than by my personal preference.
Is this related to what you mean?
no subject
Date: 2005-11-26 04:08 pm (UTC)Also, host mode is a different thing, and is a case where I would expect that to be happening.
Hmm. Still struggling to put into words, so apparently I was not quite there yet. The words in the post are closer than I've gotten, but until I can explain it without an example, it's not close enough. :)