[missing of people]

[wispfox]

It is, I note, remarkably difficult for me to compare how much I miss someone _now_ vs have missed them in the past. Why _is_ that?

Was attempting to determine if I actually do find it harder when australian_joe leaves in winter vs. in summer. I think, actually, what happens is that it hits me _much_ harder in winter (emotional fucked-upness, and all), but my awareness of everything (including my time sense) is terrible in winter, so I also recover more quickly.

Mostly, I think, it's because I'm less good at keeping track of how recently anything has happened in winter. I _really_ get into 'now is always' states in winter. Also makes winter feel like it lasts forever and ever (and ever!). I wonder what sort of fascinating effect being in the other hemisphere next Feb will have on that?

Annoyingly, my 'avoiding thinking about this to let it chill out' thing right now is new-apartment-oriented. And I need to wait until I've finished with carpet cleaning stuff before I can really move much in earnest.

(I also hope coping with him leaving gets easier, eventually. Not particularly convinced that it _will_, mind)

I _do_, however, think the additional solidity to my sense of him from his Feb visit has helped, overall, with lack of in-person interaction with him (both immediately after he leaves and in terms of increasing the time from his last visit to when I start losing sense of him enough for it to be a timeout problem).

Comments

[vvvexation.livejournal.com]

*nod* I immediately thought of that because I have the same difficulty, though I'm not sure if it's because I have trouble being objective about my current emotions; I suspect it may be that I just have trouble remembering my past emotions in any detail at all. Sometimes I read back a ways in my private journal and am really surprised to find that I was having the same feeling a year and a half ago that I'm having now.

[wispfox.livejournal.com]

I think I only have this if the two emotion sets are both similar and similar in intensity. I mean, I could certainly tell that this past winter was _much_ less bad than last, for example, as far as my depressive state.

But yes, I do have trouble being objective about current emotion. I think I have a decent memory of emotion, though, once I manage to figure out how to get objective enough about current state.