(no subject)

[wispfox]

Life becomes very surreal when one is unable to get sufficient sleep due to coughing all night. Today, my brain has decided that everything is very floaty. Which is fine, and rather entertaining, as long as I don't need to drive much of anywhere. No volunteer job for me, tonight!

Impulses become much less... restrained. Which means I'm likely to do strange things like decide that my fork *must* attack the blinds in the lunchroom while my food heats up. I think that I managed to modify it to me mentioning it, rather than doing it. No real need to completely freak out my coworkers today.

Incidentally, the food was very, very yummy. Considering that I rarely have much opinion on food, I was impressed. And saved the box to get more and possibly attempt to make it myself. I think it had something to do with the raisins, almonds, and crunchy wild rice. And maybe the apple pieces. Yummy sweet bits, and crunchy bits. And being entirely organic probably helped.

I've determined recently that I tend to have a pretty high threshhold for too much information in terms of interpersonal discussions, or in terms of discussions in which someone wants advice. It's much easier to get to a point of too much information (generally indicated by my lack of ability to continue processing incoming information because I can't figure out what's actually important, as well as a lack of patience) when another person is talking to me about things which have no direct impact on me. It's also easier to get to a point of too much information, even with interpersonal or advice requesting conversations, if I'm on the phone. Written information is the highest threshhold I have, possibly because I can skim if needed.

I tend to have trouble really *understanding* where the boundary is, for other people, for too much information of an interpersonal nature. However, the above bits of knowledge (some newly understood) do help me understand the problem. I know that many people tend to find that I give too much info, and that there are at least some who prefer that the basic premise be stated, and more information be given if it's requested.

Possibly because I tend to babble when nervous, and attempting to talk about things of an interpersonal nature is pretty likely to make me nervous. So I may overwhelm by giving unimportant information. Especially if I'm talking about something I'm confused by - if I'm confused, I have not yet managed to determine what the base premise *is*, so will do my best to paint around it with whatever bits of information I *do* have. Which generally leads to too much information of non-useful types. And would explain why other people often want the option to ask questions rather than hear me repeat what little I've managed to figure out.

Huh. I just realized part of why it is that trying to describe non-verbal things in verbal terms frustrates me so much. I *can't* describe the basic concept in words for something inherently non-verbal. I have to paint around it as best I can. So I feel like I'm giving too much possibly repetative information, and this frustrates me. It makes me much, much happier to be able to give a basic idea of what I'm talking about, rather than have to paint around the idea in question.

I strongly prefer to be concise, because I dislike feeling like I'm babbling. I tend to feel like I'm babbling if I'm doing a lot of talking with no one else saying anything. So any time I cannot be concise, it bothers me. Probably making me more uncomfortable and/or nervous, and making the problem worse.

No *wonder* I have such trouble talking to people about things that I don't yet have a good handle on, especially if it's something that relates directly to them. I feel like I can't say whatever it is that I so badly need to, and like I may be using the wrong bits of information to paint around the thing in question. (thing can equal confusion, non-verbal bits in my head, emotions, etc...) And I'm afraid that I will be accidentally saying things which will only confuse the matter and/or saying the precise opposite of what I *want* to be saying.

It's probably also part of why it's so much easier for me to do such things in writing - I can read back over what I'm trying to say, and get a feel for if it's even remotely what I'm trying to say. And I can move things around if they are the wrong places, and possibly indicating a linkage between thoughts which is not really there.

Huh. Tired brains can still have revelations. Now we shall just see if I remember it. :)

Comments

[hawkegirl.livejournal.com]

I was not up coughing all night, but up with Boudicca coughing all night and I feel like I'm in a grain grinder but not actually being ground out to anything anywhere just churning and churning...

[wispfox.livejournal.com]

Mmm. I'm very glad my roommate is a deep sleeper, or I'd feel bad.

I hope Boudicca manages to stop coughing so you can sleep, too!

The poor little thing...

[hawkegirl.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I just heard her coughing again (she was having nap time) I went in and she was like "Mama I don't think I can do viola today I feel so sick" (she turns out to have a fever). But it was *so* cute...

Why is it kids are so cute when they're all sick and droopy!

to talk or not to babble.

[unicyclesteve.livejournal.com]

that is the worry i have when i happen to be around some gal I find attractive.Regardless of the fact that haven't found the cajones to actually speak up and admit such a thing to them (over the decades) but the whole perspective of uncomfortable while talking causes nerviousness and then the who cycles spins ever onward...yeah its a feeling I do know far to intamately i admit. (pun acknowledged but unintensional, still it will stay) And then we have the facts of while growing up i would use metaphors to paint around/dance around what ever topic I was trying to express to "X" person or family member... it got to the point that when i had just gotten outta the navy that Dad said to me once(well several times I'm sure) "Enough, you've lost me... somewhere around 6 metaphors deep in explaining this subject - that i'm not sure i even remember what it was you were talking about...what was it do you have anyidea?"
Which caused me to pause and totally loose my trian of thought to the point of going "Chalkboard blank" and the blank stair to add to it.. he then asked if i knew what it was i was try to get at....

i replied in a fumbling of the tungue method... ummmm i don't remember and his cynical pragmatictic tone and way was like - "Well, i see it wasn't that import as usually if that happened again." that cuased an even greater level of self consciou deconstruction and well, i sooooo fell like i know what the shoes' your walking in feel like.

there nuff said? need more coffee?

[fredcritter.livejournal.com]

I tend to feel like I'm babbling if I'm doing a lot of talking with no one else saying anything.

I like to think that all properly self-aware people feel this way, but that's probably just wishful thinking combined with a kind of misplaced "patting myself on the back" (i.e., I like to think I always notice when I've been babbling; and, when I notice, I always apologize right away). In any case, when the shoe is on the other foot, the only people I … hmmmmm … lose patience with? am really irritated by? … anyway … are those who never seem to notice, never seem to feel like they're babbling, when, in fact, they're busy babbling my ear off. Of course, I tend also to have much more patience with my friends than with total strangers from out of the crowd; but that's part of what friendships all about, eh? Further, as I frequently say these days, I very much want to hear important things I don't know, even if it means I have also to hear a bunch of things I already know or don't care a lot about. (On the most simple level, it goes like this: "Oh, you already knew you were supposed to turn here? I'm sorry." "No worry! Better you should tell me something I already know than we miss the turn.")

Except for when I'm actually in a conversation, I believe most of the people who are the least bit close to us are perfectly willing to put up with a bit of babbling from us. Especially when we admit that we feel that's what we're doing.

In any case, there was much here in your post that I related to and found meaningful — thanks for saying (writing) it. I, too, find it easier to say things in writing, except when I can't figure how to get started, or when I run out of steam too soon and with too little said, or decide it's all stupid and delete it instead of posting/sending it (as I probably should with this reply…), or…

(Hope you don't mind me being here. I saw your response to rosefox, popped over here, and was impressed by this.)