[travel.Joe]

[wispfox]

Ended up working from home today due to major exhaustion.

australian_joe just left.

I mope much now.

It's a _lot_ more difficult to see him go now than it was in July. Season, perhaps.


I'm probably going to have a weird combination of needing time to myself, since the last three weeks were pretty social (although the past week was much less so), and really needing to be with individuals with whom I am comfortable and with whom cuddling is a reasonable expectation. Partly because I normally need that in the winter (especially late Jan/all of Feb), but partly because I'm going to be intensely mopey/sad until I readjust.

Comfy people have tended to be much better about visiting me than in past experience, as well as about pinging me for hangings out, which is greatly appreciated. Especially since I tend to be _much_ less good about pinging people about cuddly visits, yet need it more strongly at the same damn time.


I tend to be decent at ignoring people leaving until about 1-2 hours before they leave. Then, I get very quiet, because... words aren't useful because it's not words that I miss when they are gone. I can still _get_ words when people are not nearby. Also quiet because I tend to be at a fairly unstable point emotionally when I know it's going to be a while, and I'm not very good with goodbyes.


Ok. Back to work and attempting to ignore intense sadness, since I really _do_ need to be working right now.


[edit: I find it fascinating that, so far, I regularly dream about visiting Australia the night before he leaves. Even though I have not been there and therefore have no useful frame of reference. So much so that I know it's wrong _in the damn dream_]

Comments

[majes.livejournal.com]

with whom cuddling is a reasonable expectation.

Let's just put that on the list of reasonable expectations. That, and conversations that somehow manage to connect cutie, fluffy kittens with the secrets of the Dresden Codex.

[jirikido.livejournal.com]

warm huggles, he seems like a nice guy, and i feel your pain. sorry i missed you at working group. stay well.

[wispfox.livejournal.com]

he seems like a nice guy

Um, yes. :)

Did you actually meet him at any point?

[jirikido.livejournal.com]

i met him briefly at the summer BBQ over at scott n rachel's place and responded to a couple of things in his LJ, i think that's the sum total of interactions

[wispfox.livejournal.com]

i met him briefly at the summer BBQ over at scott n rachel's place

Oh! Ok. I didn't realize that you'd met. :)

[australian-joe.livejournal.com]

I forgot we'd met too, actually. 8->

[jirikido.livejournal.com]

greetings eh? i see you're back safe and sound down under. i do believe i saw you at the Diesel cafe one Tuesday when Lisa was there, but got distracted on my way over to say hi.

[australian-joe.livejournal.com]

Yes, hello again!

And that was my 30-minute appearance at Diesel. I'd planned to be there for some hours but it didn't end up happening that way. Lisa & I ended up missing each other that day but we met up not long after.

Sorry we didn't get a chance to talk then. Next time!

[wispfox.livejournal.com]

Heh! For context, I know him because of work group. :)

[jirikido.livejournal.com]

indeed, 'tis true ;)

[australian-joe.livejournal.com]

Figured from your comments to each other. 8->

[bridgetester.livejournal.com]

*hugs, offers you a stuffed dragon and a box of kleenex*

[wispfox.livejournal.com]

*smile* DRAGON!

*hug returned*

I note that I did _not_ cry, and perhaps should have. I spent enough time yesterday forcing myself not to that perhaps I ought to do something tonight to convince myself that it's ok to. Might be why I had a nasty headache last night.

[bridgetester.livejournal.com]

If you haven't by now, I definitely think you should...

[jasra]

*hugs*

[wispfox.livejournal.com]

Thanks. :)

[australian-joe.livejournal.com]

8-<

I think that's why I kept asking you before and when I called how you were doing - I definitely had a sense of you coping less than last time.

And yes, maybe a lot of it is the season, but I'm inclined to think most of it is more about how much more solid things are in your head now. We saw that make a difference to some other things this trip.

[wispfox.livejournal.com]

I think that's why I kept asking you before and when I called how you were doing - I definitely had a sense of you coping less than last time.

Yep. I figured that was why you were asking.

I note, though, that I was not entirely in a phone mood when you called, which made things slightly surreal, and probably meant I was even _less_ chatty than I would otherwise have been. (I was already pretty low on chatty, as that's both a time of year reaction and a not wanting to deal with things reaction for me)

And yes, maybe a lot of it is the season, but I'm inclined to think most of it is more about how much more solid things are in your head now. We saw that make a difference to some other things this trip.

I do/did somewhat wonder this, as well.

But at the same time, I suspect this is why, dramatically more difficult though it may have been initially, it's appearing to get back to a more normal state in my head much more rapidly than I'd have expected.

We shall see how things are when it's the the weekend, though, since busy does make it easier for me to ignore things and think I'm doing better than I am. (Since my default reaction to things I can't do anything about is to ignore them and try to distract myself, it could easily be giving me a false sense of recovery)

[bridgetester.livejournal.com]

Since my default reaction to things I can't do anything about is to ignore them and try to distract myself, it could easily be giving me a false sense of recovery

*nodnod* Although I also do that too much with things that I can do something about, but don't want to do.