[sad, rant]
Jul. 27th, 2004 02:29 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wispfoxWhy must I lose friendships for things that did not happen? And, because of who I am and how I am, _would_ not happen, even should the friend in question not have been similarly trustworthy? I miss the friendship. I would have been perfectly _happy_ had it continued as the friendship that it was. I had not seriously considered any other possibilities due to lack of availability, regardless of the fears/expectations of said friend's significant other. But apparently having a close friendship with me is threatening for my friends' significant others, sometimes. At least that's not always true, I guess...
Why is it that being who I am seems to be so damn good at magnifying problems in the relationships of those with whom I spend a sufficient amount of time, all too frequently resulting in jealousy and/or the loss of said friendships? Sometimes I hate being a catalyst.
I don't like losing friendships. I never have. I like it even less when the reason is not within the friendship itself. The dislike increases yet more when I run into former friends with relative frequency, due to mutual social activities that I refuse to stop attending. Worse yet when I had a sufficiently strong bond with the former friend that I felt a need to remove the bond.
*sigh* I wish I coped _faster_, dammit!
[edit: tried to make things a little more clear]
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Date: 2004-07-27 06:43 pm (UTC)That does, indeed, suck.
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Date: 2004-07-27 06:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-27 06:47 pm (UTC)And a monkey.
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Date: 2004-07-27 06:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-27 06:52 pm (UTC)(Hey! Why does monkey get to keep its 'y' when plural?)
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Date: 2004-07-27 06:54 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-27 07:01 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-27 07:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-27 07:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-27 07:04 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-27 07:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-27 07:07 pm (UTC)"Hey hey, we're the Monkees...
"And we just monkey around..."
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Date: 2004-07-27 07:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-27 07:08 pm (UTC)*is temporarily earwormed*
Hopefully the music I'm listening to right now will make it stop soon...
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Date: 2004-07-27 07:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-27 07:12 pm (UTC)sorry to hear about your tribulations
*hugs*
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Date: 2004-07-27 07:13 pm (UTC)to put anybody down"
everybody now!
"WE"RE JUST TRYING TO BE FRIENDLY..."
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Date: 2004-07-27 07:15 pm (UTC)I want my friend back.
But thank you for the sentiment.
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Date: 2004-07-27 07:15 pm (UTC)I have no idea why I felt like noticing this today, but I did.
Crazy English grammar rules!
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Date: 2004-07-27 07:19 pm (UTC)*arm.punch repeatedly*
Stop that!!
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Date: 2004-07-27 07:24 pm (UTC)Dear, dear, dear Wispfox honey. Reading your post, I get the feeling that this is all a big Poly Thing, yes?
Do you sometimes get the feeling that your monogamous friends tend to be: "Perfectly okay with you being poly, as long as you don't do it in their presence??". I get that feeling sometimes. Some people that I know seem to be threatened by my poly-thoughts. As if I'm trying to "convert" them.
I don't know if this is what you're going through, or if I've just got Poly-on-the-brain, and my friends are right about me being a zealot. [sad shrug]
I'm sure its fast as it should be
Date: 2004-07-27 07:26 pm (UTC)Whatever part of my essence that isn't corrupted by darkness - It's working on sending good energy your way. I hope it helps with the mending.
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Date: 2004-07-27 07:27 pm (UTC)doesn't make it any less sucky, but maybe explains some of it.
*hugs*
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Date: 2004-07-27 07:28 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-27 07:31 pm (UTC)