[sad, rant]

[wispfox]

Why must I lose friendships for things that did not happen? And, because of who I am and how I am, _would_ not happen, even should the friend in question not have been similarly trustworthy? I miss the friendship. I would have been perfectly _happy_ had it continued as the friendship that it was. I had not seriously considered any other possibilities due to lack of availability, regardless of the fears/expectations of said friend's significant other. But apparently having a close friendship with me is threatening for my friends' significant others, sometimes. At least that's not always true, I guess...

Why is it that being who I am seems to be so damn good at magnifying problems in the relationships of those with whom I spend a sufficient amount of time, all too frequently resulting in jealousy and/or the loss of said friendships? Sometimes I hate being a catalyst.

I don't like losing friendships. I never have. I like it even less when the reason is not within the friendship itself. The dislike increases yet more when I run into former friends with relative frequency, due to mutual social activities that I refuse to stop attending. Worse yet when I had a sufficiently strong bond with the former friend that I felt a need to remove the bond.

*sigh* I wish I coped _faster_, dammit!

[edit: tried to make things a little more clear]

Comments

[australian-joe.livejournal.com]

determinism in the worst way

Creating the outcome they profess to dread! Acting as though they have no control and it's all fated - yet *still* behaving badly in order to try to "cheat fate" or something.

Makes my head spin. I can't follow any line of reasoning where this seems like a good idea.

And when you see full adults snubbing people and walking past them just like kids in the primary school playground... I dunno. They have surely made their own hell.

[bridgetester.livejournal.com]

And that still brings up Sartre's quote in my head: "Hell is other people."