[sad, rant]

[wispfox]

Why must I lose friendships for things that did not happen? And, because of who I am and how I am, _would_ not happen, even should the friend in question not have been similarly trustworthy? I miss the friendship. I would have been perfectly _happy_ had it continued as the friendship that it was. I had not seriously considered any other possibilities due to lack of availability, regardless of the fears/expectations of said friend's significant other. But apparently having a close friendship with me is threatening for my friends' significant others, sometimes. At least that's not always true, I guess...

Why is it that being who I am seems to be so damn good at magnifying problems in the relationships of those with whom I spend a sufficient amount of time, all too frequently resulting in jealousy and/or the loss of said friendships? Sometimes I hate being a catalyst.

I don't like losing friendships. I never have. I like it even less when the reason is not within the friendship itself. The dislike increases yet more when I run into former friends with relative frequency, due to mutual social activities that I refuse to stop attending. Worse yet when I had a sufficiently strong bond with the former friend that I felt a need to remove the bond.

*sigh* I wish I coped _faster_, dammit!

[edit: tried to make things a little more clear]

Comments

[wispfox.livejournal.com]

it will all work out with time

At least in terms of me adjusting enough, yes. It will. Beyond that, I cannot say.

for some folks that translates into not being able to handle broken bonds.

I'm slightly confused by this part, as I think it may mean that my initial post was confusing. I broke the bond on purpose, because there had been too long without the friendship, and no end in sight. Refer to posts a week ago last Saturday about bond removal...

[bluepapercup]

I'm slightly confused by this part, as I think it may mean that my initial post was confusing.

No, no, *I* am confusing you. I meant that the other person may have a difficult time dealing with the you-initiated bond breaking.

or maybe I totally don't get it at all. but I thought I did.

[wispfox.livejournal.com]

Ah. I have not yet seen the no-longer-bonded person since the bond was removed by me.

I may have been overly confusing in my initial post... I modified it a little, though.

[bluepapercup]

*looks sad*

I am sorry for the confusion. I have nothing but compassion for you about all this.

[wispfox.livejournal.com]

Mmm. Confusion tends to happen when I'm trying to communicate through strong emotion, so no apology required.

And thank you.