(no subject)

[wispfox]

Oh, good _gods_, I suddenly want touch.

And not just any touch. Touch where I'm not trying to heal someone or be healed. Touch where I don't have to think about whether or not they'll want the touch and/or have to ask for it, or whether or not there are areas I have to be careful about touching (ticklishness can be problematic). Comfy, non-thinking-required...

Gah.

[edit: it's actually fairly difficult for me to be comfortable enough to not think at all when cuddling with someone, and pretty much requires that they are both ridiculously comfy for me to be around _and_ are naturally very cuddly]

[another edit: non-thinking-required != not thinking. By that, I _really_ meant that I don't have to think about the cuddling itself in terms of being highly aware of where to not touch (for tickling reasons, mostly), whether or not the person really _wants_ to be touching for so long, etc...]

[yet another edit: cuddling, for me, implies that physical contact is being initiated by _both_ people, not only one. I need to feel like the other person is actively interested/involved in it, or it's not cuddling.]

Comments

[ladytabitha.livejournal.com]

I'm probably not of use in this regard, being (a) the sort to giggle inanely with you, which doesn't lead to, yknow, being quiet, and (b) ticklish as all hell.

(It is possible to touch me without tickling me, it just takes knowing intent.)

[wispfox.livejournal.com]

the sort to giggle inanely with you, which doesn't lead to, yknow, being quiet

*grins* True. But still fun! ;)

ticklish as all hell.

Yep.

For the most part, I don't _have_ good local outlets for this. Not to the extent that I want it to be effortless, because most of my social group _doesn't_ do the randomly touchy/cuddly stuff. At least not that I notice. Maybe it's just because I'm overly paranoid about annoying people with my more or less constantly wanting touch if I am being at all social, so I don't initiate enough to be aware of those who are and are not both really comfy for me _and_ as cuddle-friendly as I am. Not sure.

Meh. Missing...

[ladytabitha.livejournal.com]

For the most part, I'd actually like more physical contact in my life, of the general cuddly variety, but I dislike having nearly all physical contact requests be interpreted as being sexual, so I kind of don't bother asking anymore.  Kinda lonely way to be, but better'n being annoyed all the time.  :p

[wispfox.livejournal.com]

dislike having nearly all physical contact requests be interpreted as being sexual

Good lord, so would I! Yeesh. People!

Must remember to initiate cuddling the next time we're together long enough to do so. Yes. :) Speaking of which, I really should visit you sometime soon!

[ladytabitha.livejournal.com]

To be fair to People™, that thinking got into my brain at a younger age, and was probably affected by my general immaturity of social skills.  So, probably wasn't managing the communication well on my part.

Still, I've noticed that it continues to happen sometimes nowadays, so.  Not sure where to address this...

Perhaps with you visiting.  Hi!

[brynndragon.livejournal.com]

I miss the times when I was part of a social group that did random touch - things like pilling lots of people on a couch or heads on stomachs while lying on the ground just because or greeting folks with scritches. I feel like I've lost something because the groups I interact with are not like that. I slowly lost the ability to be touchy-feely like that (partially through negative reactions from others, partly from misinterpretation of what suchness means - if I want to sleep with you, I assure you I'll let you know ;P), so initiating is not easy for me either anymore. I keep thinking that I want to redevelop it but I'm just not sure how. . .

[wispfox.livejournal.com]

pilling lots of people on a couch or heads on stomachs while lying on the ground just because or greeting folks with scritches.

This stuff _does_ happen in some of my social circles, but usually in large enough group things that I don't want to be there for the overwhelmingness of people.

I suspect part of my problem is simply that I'm still too _new_ to the vast majority of my social circle, so I'm not really sure where boundaries lie. And I tend strongly toward being overly cautious.

And I do have people who do this, but they are mostly scattered, sometimes _really_ far away.

[brynndragon.livejournal.com]

I also tend towards cautious, the problem is if you establish an interaction as not-touch it'll tend to stay that way unless you specifically make it otherwise, which is pretty darn likely to lead to misinterpretation unless you make it extremely explicit, and what do you do if you don't know enough to be explicit about whether or not you want you might want to sleep with someone at some point? Arrrrg! (Pirate G in da house!)

The largest concentration of cuddle folks for me is on the other coast. Dammit, I want my bicoastal teleporter already! ;P

[wispfox.livejournal.com]

problem is if you establish an interaction as not-touch it'll tend to stay that way unless you specifically make it otherwise

I know. Although, I _do_ touch - but touch is different than cuddling is.

pretty darn likely to lead to misinterpretation unless you make it extremely explicit

Which I think I do a pretty decent job of, but it's often not worth the energy expenditure to explain, and to figure out who is at a point in my head that it's even worth attempting to explain, so I don't.

And... actually... I think that the comment about people assuming much when one simply wants to be cuddly that ladytabitha mentioned is sufficiently accurate in my world as well that _that_ might be part of why I am so cautious, as well. It's entirely too effortful to figure out who won't jump to that conclusion, who likes cuddling enough to do it randomly, _and_ who I'm comfortable enough that it's something I want to be doing even when I'm not feeling strongly social (but not feeling anti-social).

Meh. Sometimes the fact that the really nifty/comfy people in my life are so damn scattered annoys the hell out of me.

I want my bicoastal teleporter already!

If you can have one of those, can I have a more generic one? Please? It'd not only let me visit the nifty people I don't see enough, but it'd completely remove the things that make me travel less often - the time it takes to _get_ places, and the discomfort thereof.

[bridgetester.livejournal.com]

bicoastal teleporter

Why settle for bicoastal? I want an omnilocation teleporter. Or innate teleporation. Yes. :D

[wispfox.livejournal.com]

Innate teleportation. Oh, I _so_ want. Right now! Want!

[bridgetester.livejournal.com]

I've been wanting that for years and years and years... *pouts* possibly a decade *uncertain* Comes from seeing that concept in many many sci-fi books/movies/tv shows, and not a few fantasy media.

[bridgetester.livejournal.com]

most of my social group _doesn't_ do the randomly touchy/cuddly stuff

:P at them

[wispfox.livejournal.com]

*shrug* As I think I said later, that may just be me not wanting to confuse people and/or give them things to misinterpret, and not the social group at all.

[bridgetester.livejournal.com]

*nods* There are some people that are good friends, but are eminently not cuddley. Among them many guys... *muses*

I am far more comfortable touching females of any age, or guys much much younger than me than guys my own age. Guys older than me... that's rather unlikely too. *muses* The interpretation is very important.