[schmoop? I think?]
Jul. 6th, 2004 07:01 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wispfoxI like that, even with the mopey bits relating to the fact that my apartment is _empty_ right now, I am completely confident in that he'll be _back_. (and, yes, I do have intent to visit there at some point - dude, I _already_ wanted to visit Australia! I just have more reason now. ;)
I like that I had time during which I had both lots and lots of words and lots and lots of non-verbal. (And knowing that my need to be highly verbal is _appreciated_ is wonderful)
I like that I didn't let myself not say (and I _said_ them, mostly, not wrote them!) things that needed to be said because it annoyed me that it was true, or because I was afraid. And the telling was always received well. (I'm sure the above comment about highly verbal appreciation was a factor here, too)
I like that I felt like I was listened to on as many levels as I tend to listen.
I like that I was willing to look into eyes for long periods of time without breaking eye contact. And I learned that apparently part of why my gaze can be disconcerting is that I don't move my eyes at _all_ unless I'm thinking about it (or something not what I'm looking at catches my eye).
I like that, even though I most certainly had moments of feeling like I was being too strange (and therefore enough to make people leave), there was an explicit statement that at no point was that a possible problem. And I _most_ certainly got stranger than most people see me (I don't usually let people see me when I'm being really unable to sleep/fae/not fully here). Weirding people out is _always_ a concern of mine.
Yes, I miss. Of course I do - two weeks is a lot of time, especially when one is attempting to do lots of stuff during it. But I _don't_ have the fear that normally comes with distance for me. At least for now, at least while the sense I got is strong and important/needed shared verbalizations are in my head, I'm not afraid. And it is good.
I love. I miss. And I'm not afraid.
I like that I had time during which I had both lots and lots of words and lots and lots of non-verbal. (And knowing that my need to be highly verbal is _appreciated_ is wonderful)
I like that I didn't let myself not say (and I _said_ them, mostly, not wrote them!) things that needed to be said because it annoyed me that it was true, or because I was afraid. And the telling was always received well. (I'm sure the above comment about highly verbal appreciation was a factor here, too)
I like that I felt like I was listened to on as many levels as I tend to listen.
I like that I was willing to look into eyes for long periods of time without breaking eye contact. And I learned that apparently part of why my gaze can be disconcerting is that I don't move my eyes at _all_ unless I'm thinking about it (or something not what I'm looking at catches my eye).
I like that, even though I most certainly had moments of feeling like I was being too strange (and therefore enough to make people leave), there was an explicit statement that at no point was that a possible problem. And I _most_ certainly got stranger than most people see me (I don't usually let people see me when I'm being really unable to sleep/fae/not fully here). Weirding people out is _always_ a concern of mine.
Yes, I miss. Of course I do - two weeks is a lot of time, especially when one is attempting to do lots of stuff during it. But I _don't_ have the fear that normally comes with distance for me. At least for now, at least while the sense I got is strong and important/needed shared verbalizations are in my head, I'm not afraid. And it is good.
I love. I miss. And I'm not afraid.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2004-07-06 11:30 pm (UTC)*Exactly* how I feel about
no subject
Date: 2004-07-07 02:16 am (UTC)