wispfox: (Default)
[personal profile] wispfox
My first poly speed dating (http://boston.polyspeeddating.com/) event ftw! I think it went well. There were two or three women (of 7) who would love to see again, and would be happy to chat more with all of them (I really do like people, generally).

Very glad that the lovely people in charge of the programming were able to handle my last minute request to have a wall behind me. I hadn't thought about it until I got there and saw the venue (definitely will request in the future), but if I have people talking behind me, I can't hear the people talking in front of me. And it was _loud_, both due to numbers of people and to inexplicable background music.

Tasty snacks included edamame and hummus with pita bread. Other things, too, but those were to my taste. :)

Very glad for a quieter area outside the main conversational area. Wow, my ears are full. Thankfully someone reminded me to project rather than kill my throat trying to yell.

Whee! Very tired now.

Date: 2013-06-14 02:19 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wispfox.livejournal.com
Well, first you set yourself up for success. In my case, this meant walking in the room and realizing that the room is going to be _loud_, and I needed to find out if they could put me against a wall.

Then, well, relax. And make sure you have enough social energy going in.

And, really, what sorts of questions do you want to ask? Like, any getting to know you question works, especially if you remember to also answer (or, if they asked, ask them as well). It's actually not that difficult; what do you do for work? For fun? Have you done this before? How has your evening gone so far, if not one of your first matches? How long have you known you were poly? How long have you been part of the greater poly Boston community? Do you have existing partners?

Honestly, for the two I was most intereted in hearing back from, it was difficult to _stop_ talking after the time was up. The conversation was fun, easy, and flowed well. (And yes, the two also said they were interested in further conversation with me, so yay!)

While it is certainly possible that people will suck, they do try very hard to set people up for success, at least in terms of not having an unpleasant time. And, they cover useful ground rules (don't try to advance your case; don't ask what they thought of you/for contact info/for further interaction. If both of you say on your sheet that you want more interaction, you will both get each other's emails. If someone behaves badly, tell someone, or at least make a note on the sheet you will turn in at the end with your yeses and nos). And they address the case where you might inadvertently be matched with a family member, an ex, or a co-worker or boss or some other awkward thing. In that case, it is ok to just not sit down. :)

Stuff! I think it was very, very well run, and worth a try.
Edited Date: 2013-06-14 02:20 am (UTC)

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