[people.social]
Apr. 21st, 2005 03:11 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wispfoxI like an awful lot of people. I begin to think that might be 'too many', at least based on my current (past few years) social needs and tendencies.
I find myself saying that I have mild interest[1] in lots of people, but there are very few people I have strong interest in. In every single case of strong interest, there has been a fair amount of in-person interaction over a fairly brief period of time.
This appears to be necessary to remain real in my head, and also appears necessary to be anything more than someone I would eventually like to get to know better. This is especially important when it's wintertime and I'm mostly not social, because I tend to not think to ping people who have lost reality in my head. It is not, however (as is probably obvious), sufficient for strong interest creation. 'Lots of time' != 'someone I am drawn to spending time with'.
I note this most especially with local people, possibly because it's easier to meet local people. And possibly because non-local means I tend to spend longer periods of time with people when in the same location, and I have to pick and choose _who_ to spend time with more carefully.
I think I may need to take a good look at who I actively want to spend time with, as well as who I seem to have an insufficiently strong pull toward to want to see them in non-group contexts. Of course, I appear to be less and less interested in group activities as time passes. Gotta wonder how much of this is due to being insufficiently careful about who I see in non-group activities... Starting to think that people who I'm neutral on would be better in the 'people I see in groups' category, rather than the 'sure, I'll hang out if asked' category, so as to lose less energy in individual interactions, and have more available for groups.
It is so very annoying being simultaneously extro- and introverted. Because half of me is like 'but! Nifty, interesting people!', and the other is like 'ok, too many people. Most of whom I have little draw toward'. Bah.
I do have to wonder how much of this relates to my difficulty with social interaction in the winter, where it's much more useful for people to visit me. So visiting me, even if someone isn't likely to be terribly useful for me in a low energy state, is still better than nothing...
Bah. I think on this for a while. So very strange to need to adjust to current state of socialness; I never used to know this many nifty people, so I didn't really _need_ to pick and choose so much. So my habits aren't really there yet.
[1] In this particular case, as I tend to need friendship before any other kind of interest, I'm mostly referring to a sufficiently strong interest in a friendship with someone to actively pursue one.
edit: I appear to have forgotten to make an important point. I _do_ still intend to seek out people whose 'do they draw me?' status is not known, especially if I've never met them or spent enough time directly interacting with them. Drawing me appears to be _entirely_ in-person interaction based, although online interaction will help with initial difficulty noticing/remembering people. I also intend to seek out people who are in the 'possibly draw me' category, where I don't yet _know_.
(actually, people who are entirely unknown will continue to be relatively infrequent for intentional one-on-one interaction, as they are highest energy requirement; and mostly during non-winter times. People who are potentially drawing for me will be a bit less infrequent)
I find myself saying that I have mild interest[1] in lots of people, but there are very few people I have strong interest in. In every single case of strong interest, there has been a fair amount of in-person interaction over a fairly brief period of time.
This appears to be necessary to remain real in my head, and also appears necessary to be anything more than someone I would eventually like to get to know better. This is especially important when it's wintertime and I'm mostly not social, because I tend to not think to ping people who have lost reality in my head. It is not, however (as is probably obvious), sufficient for strong interest creation. 'Lots of time' != 'someone I am drawn to spending time with'.
I note this most especially with local people, possibly because it's easier to meet local people. And possibly because non-local means I tend to spend longer periods of time with people when in the same location, and I have to pick and choose _who_ to spend time with more carefully.
I think I may need to take a good look at who I actively want to spend time with, as well as who I seem to have an insufficiently strong pull toward to want to see them in non-group contexts. Of course, I appear to be less and less interested in group activities as time passes. Gotta wonder how much of this is due to being insufficiently careful about who I see in non-group activities... Starting to think that people who I'm neutral on would be better in the 'people I see in groups' category, rather than the 'sure, I'll hang out if asked' category, so as to lose less energy in individual interactions, and have more available for groups.
It is so very annoying being simultaneously extro- and introverted. Because half of me is like 'but! Nifty, interesting people!', and the other is like 'ok, too many people. Most of whom I have little draw toward'. Bah.
I do have to wonder how much of this relates to my difficulty with social interaction in the winter, where it's much more useful for people to visit me. So visiting me, even if someone isn't likely to be terribly useful for me in a low energy state, is still better than nothing...
Bah. I think on this for a while. So very strange to need to adjust to current state of socialness; I never used to know this many nifty people, so I didn't really _need_ to pick and choose so much. So my habits aren't really there yet.
[1] In this particular case, as I tend to need friendship before any other kind of interest, I'm mostly referring to a sufficiently strong interest in a friendship with someone to actively pursue one.
edit: I appear to have forgotten to make an important point. I _do_ still intend to seek out people whose 'do they draw me?' status is not known, especially if I've never met them or spent enough time directly interacting with them. Drawing me appears to be _entirely_ in-person interaction based, although online interaction will help with initial difficulty noticing/remembering people. I also intend to seek out people who are in the 'possibly draw me' category, where I don't yet _know_.
(actually, people who are entirely unknown will continue to be relatively infrequent for intentional one-on-one interaction, as they are highest energy requirement; and mostly during non-winter times. People who are potentially drawing for me will be a bit less infrequent)
