(no subject)

[wispfox]

Life becomes very surreal when one is unable to get sufficient sleep due to coughing all night. Today, my brain has decided that everything is very floaty. Which is fine, and rather entertaining, as long as I don't need to drive much of anywhere. No volunteer job for me, tonight!

Impulses become much less... restrained. Which means I'm likely to do strange things like decide that my fork *must* attack the blinds in the lunchroom while my food heats up. I think that I managed to modify it to me mentioning it, rather than doing it. No real need to completely freak out my coworkers today.

Incidentally, the food was very, very yummy. Considering that I rarely have much opinion on food, I was impressed. And saved the box to get more and possibly attempt to make it myself. I think it had something to do with the raisins, almonds, and crunchy wild rice. And maybe the apple pieces. Yummy sweet bits, and crunchy bits. And being entirely organic probably helped.

I've determined recently that I tend to have a pretty high threshhold for too much information in terms of interpersonal discussions, or in terms of discussions in which someone wants advice. It's much easier to get to a point of too much information (generally indicated by my lack of ability to continue processing incoming information because I can't figure out what's actually important, as well as a lack of patience) when another person is talking to me about things which have no direct impact on me. It's also easier to get to a point of too much information, even with interpersonal or advice requesting conversations, if I'm on the phone. Written information is the highest threshhold I have, possibly because I can skim if needed.

I tend to have trouble really *understanding* where the boundary is, for other people, for too much information of an interpersonal nature. However, the above bits of knowledge (some newly understood) do help me understand the problem. I know that many people tend to find that I give too much info, and that there are at least some who prefer that the basic premise be stated, and more information be given if it's requested.

Possibly because I tend to babble when nervous, and attempting to talk about things of an interpersonal nature is pretty likely to make me nervous. So I may overwhelm by giving unimportant information. Especially if I'm talking about something I'm confused by - if I'm confused, I have not yet managed to determine what the base premise *is*, so will do my best to paint around it with whatever bits of information I *do* have. Which generally leads to too much information of non-useful types. And would explain why other people often want the option to ask questions rather than hear me repeat what little I've managed to figure out.

Huh. I just realized part of why it is that trying to describe non-verbal things in verbal terms frustrates me so much. I *can't* describe the basic concept in words for something inherently non-verbal. I have to paint around it as best I can. So I feel like I'm giving too much possibly repetative information, and this frustrates me. It makes me much, much happier to be able to give a basic idea of what I'm talking about, rather than have to paint around the idea in question.

I strongly prefer to be concise, because I dislike feeling like I'm babbling. I tend to feel like I'm babbling if I'm doing a lot of talking with no one else saying anything. So any time I cannot be concise, it bothers me. Probably making me more uncomfortable and/or nervous, and making the problem worse.

No *wonder* I have such trouble talking to people about things that I don't yet have a good handle on, especially if it's something that relates directly to them. I feel like I can't say whatever it is that I so badly need to, and like I may be using the wrong bits of information to paint around the thing in question. (thing can equal confusion, non-verbal bits in my head, emotions, etc...) And I'm afraid that I will be accidentally saying things which will only confuse the matter and/or saying the precise opposite of what I *want* to be saying.

It's probably also part of why it's so much easier for me to do such things in writing - I can read back over what I'm trying to say, and get a feel for if it's even remotely what I'm trying to say. And I can move things around if they are the wrong places, and possibly indicating a linkage between thoughts which is not really there.

Huh. Tired brains can still have revelations. Now we shall just see if I remember it. :)