[links, other, music, Psinging, social]

[wispfox]

I have _weird_ thoughts while falling asleep. Last night, it was "sometimes, life is in a minor key". I also noted that I think I kept "Magic" in my head, partly for reference, until I stopped having to take its major premise on faith, as well as to pass it along to Psinging. I feel compelled to sing it far less often than I used to.

It is almost certain that I won't be at Baitcon this year. Stupid lack of energy.


By theferrett, Closing off Doors

Via ladytabitha, aroraborealis wants to know When you meet someone who you think could be a good friend, how do you go about bringing him/her into your life? I am amused that the last few people I remembering putting in a concerted effort along these lines (rather than having it just happen) were ladytabitha and australian_joe. At the moment, it's brynndragon, who is actually the one who took the first step (with the other two, I think I did).

Finally, also via ladytabitha, the I Can Eat Glass Project.

Comments

[leiacat.livejournal.com]

*sigh* If anyone figures out how a shy intravert can go about it, please let me know. I can think of a number of people that I tried with, and I can't think of any cases where it actually stuck.

[wispfox.livejournal.com]

Well...

the problem that I see with this is that I find myself doing a _lot_ of fitering through potentially good friends in order to find the ones who actually become such. So if one is shy and introverted, one will have less energy for that process.

Also, I find that _far_ too many of those who are potentially good friends aren't nearby. Dammit.

[leiacat.livejournal.com]

That's a part of it too. And having a mad hectic schedule ain't going to do much to help, either. (At one point in spring I had a hot affair scheduled with a friend for early summer. Than, my schedule changed and it had to be tabled indefinitely.)

The other part of it is that, well, after a longish stretch of doing a sizeable portion of initiating of contact I get discouraged, and stop initiating, and it all fizzles out into wistfulness of what might have been. I've even succeeded in supressing the shy and introverted enough to seek out contact with people, but it's _work_, and if I don't get the reward of them seeking me back (which can be energy-neutral or even energy-generating), it's prone to get too hard to keep trying.

I'd seriously not recommend being just extraverted enough to be saddened by being a hermit, but too introverted to be otherwise.

[wispfox.livejournal.com]

Schedule insanity: Yeah, that can't help!

Contact, initiation, etc: I have that exact problem. Is part of why I go through cycles of how much effort I put in. It's getting better, though, as I find people who also initiate. And noting that I strongly prefer it to not be one sided helps, too.

Intro/exrtoversion stuff: That's actually how I am, although with some amount of variation in winter/summer. So, I get it. I'm better if a) I expect to need to be social and save up energy for it, b) it's summer, and c) if I have a source of energy input around. I'm also better if someone is interesting to me and there's some _reason_ to talk to them (I had difficulty with you initially, for example, because I couldn't tell what was going on with you as far as socialness interest/desire. You also seemed to be hanging out with people I didn't know well enough to randomly just chat with them. And because it was winter, when my energy is _way_ low. Not going to any more wintertime APCs, I think).

[leiacat.livejournal.com]

Yesyesyes!!! Reasons are good, and not having something to talk about leads to awkward pauses after which the other person eventually stops being polite and meanders off to find someone more interesting than myself.

As far as APC, I don't know who you noticed me hanging out with; mostly I felt like I was largely meandering about alone, trying to attach myself to whatever conversation that wouldn't exclude me _too_ completely. Since by then I'd not been on a.p for over 2 years, I basically didn't feel like I knew _anyone_, including the people I thought I might have known before. (Ok, I'm exaggerating, but only slightly. There were a couple of exceptions, but I could hardly attach myself to them for the entire con.) I think at this point the only reason for me to go to APC at all is to see with specific people that I know for a fact wish to hang out with me, and even then, only if it's the most logistically convenient way to see those people.

[wispfox.livejournal.com]

APC: I don't know who you seemed to be hanging out with, either. I note that it's far more likely for me to think that other people are hanging out with people when my ability to cope with social interactions are low, and therefore it's difficult for me to strike up conversation.

As for going to see specific people, that makes sense, yes.