[brains, N*E]

[wispfox]

How the _hell_ does anyone ever deal with 'oooh, shiny brain' and 'oooh, yummy person' at the SAME DAMN TIME?!

See, I usually have the 'neat person, must get to know them better' thing first, and the 'oooh wait, I'm actively attracted to them, _too_!' thing after I know someone reasonably well. So it's... seriously strange to have had them at the same time, immediately upon meeting a person, and I do _NOT_ have the toolset to deal with this (and, really, beyond doing a reasonable job of keeping it from leaking out all over everything - which I think I'm already doing an ok job with - I don't know that I _would_ be able to deal with this even with experience and practice).

And I'm vaguely amused by the 'hmm. Let's investigate something-ing with two different people at the same time; one I've known for a while, and one I haven't' thing I seem to be doing right now. Ah, the timing. ;)

*shakes head* Hey, at least I do a reasonable job of saying 'hey, I'm being ridiculous and I _know_ I am, but I want you to know what's in my head'. And I'm amusing the hell out of australian_joe and ladytabitha, I think...

Comments

[szasz.livejournal.com]

Really? I seem to recall a dizzying simultaneous experience of both "what a neat person" and "oh, no, I'm attracted to them" with both of my current partners. To me it always seemed like a good sign, to come at a relationship from both sides like that.

[brynndragon.livejournal.com]

Well, for me it used to be pretty simple: you fall into bed with them a few hours after meeting them and then have an ongoing relationship that lasts for about 2 years, at which point they break your heart (usually by falling in love with someone else the slow way and falling out of love with you - the poly one did an interesting (!) variant on this theme which would take too long to discuss here). I really don't recommend this route, because the heartbreak at the end sucks badly. Hense I'm trying another more complex way of doing things that involves being cautious as all hell. The main reason it's working is because I tend to be more passive in terms of initiating things, so I feel really ackward about being active. I'm still not sure if it's the best path, but it does seem to be going OK.

[bluepapercup]

Hmm. Upon reflection, I'm not sure I've ever dated someone seriously who I *didn't* feel this combination for. It seems intuitive to me, the magic formula, really.

Interesting!

[randysmith]

If you figure it out, for Goddess' sake please let me know the secret! :-} but :-|

However, yes, when both happen at the same time, at the beginning, mutually, those have tended to be the good relationships.

[mactavish.livejournal.com]

Well, we formed a friendship, then a few months later, decided to have a short-term fling.

[australian-joe.livejournal.com]

It does amuse me, yes. Greatly.

For me, the way it works is that I can have many paths of attraction to someone, but once I get past a certain threshold, suddenly all of of them are activated.

ie. once I find someone's brain sufficiently shiny, I want their body. However not the other way around - I've definitely jumped in bed with people on short acquaintance but I don't think I've fallen in love with them.

[thinks]

I *have* been strictly LD text with someone, meet them for the first time in person and then soon be fucking them madly (fastest time, 1h15m). Actually every time I've done that it's worked out well. I've been partner-level in love with a couple of them.

Lately I'm moving a lot more slowly. I think it's making for less stress and drama, and actually isn't costing me all that much in terms of impatience. Maybe this is that maturity thing I've been hearing about all my life.