[brains] Shyness in other people
Dec. 10th, 2004 10:24 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wispfoxSo, I have a really difficult time remembering that most (all?) the people I have been or am close to think of themselves as shy, because they either have never been shy at me (that I could pick up on) or were shy around me in a situation that I can't imagine anyone ever _not_ being shy in.
I have frequently been informed that I make it easy to not be shy around me (or perhaps at me). I don't really understand this, though.
I mean, yeah - I probably would not notice anyone (to a degree where I remember them later, at least) who was being highly shy at me, so that'll automatically select out such people. But... there are some people who tell me they are shy who, when I first met them, were being _anything_ but shy. (my roommate is one such example)
I do wonder if it relates to the fact that I may not behave appropriately around people who are being shy, if I have sufficient social energy that I am not myself being shy - perhaps because I may not pick up on it? And, well, I'm sufficiently random that I will share interestings observations with anyone who happens to be nearby... which might give shy people an opening with which to interact with me? And, well, people doing sufficiently interesting things is likely to cause me to just start talking to them about it.
I don't know. I don't get it! Yet another thing I should figure out how to bottle up and sell - the defusing of shyness that I apparently exude.
Anyone happen to be able to explain this to me?
I have frequently been informed that I make it easy to not be shy around me (or perhaps at me). I don't really understand this, though.
I mean, yeah - I probably would not notice anyone (to a degree where I remember them later, at least) who was being highly shy at me, so that'll automatically select out such people. But... there are some people who tell me they are shy who, when I first met them, were being _anything_ but shy. (my roommate is one such example)
I do wonder if it relates to the fact that I may not behave appropriately around people who are being shy, if I have sufficient social energy that I am not myself being shy - perhaps because I may not pick up on it? And, well, I'm sufficiently random that I will share interestings observations with anyone who happens to be nearby... which might give shy people an opening with which to interact with me? And, well, people doing sufficiently interesting things is likely to cause me to just start talking to them about it.
I don't know. I don't get it! Yet another thing I should figure out how to bottle up and sell - the defusing of shyness that I apparently exude.
Anyone happen to be able to explain this to me?
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Date: 2004-12-11 03:49 am (UTC)1. i'd say on my part it's being shy *at* you rather than *around* you - you don't ping either the shy or social anxiety bits in me, so it's easy to be non-shy at you and easy to have one-on-one bits with you without the "aiee nerves!" kicking in. however, i definitely remember at least one instance of being shy while around you.
2. yeah...when we met there was definitely no shyness involved. (*grin* me: "i'm straight! really!" [both of you]: "no you're *not*!" me: "...okay, you're right. *more snuggling*") - on the other hand, the setting involved multiple people that i already knew decently well, so the comfort level was already established internally, and thus the people i didn't know (i think there were three total, you included) didn't register as non-comfortable people.