Privacy thoughts

[wispfox]

This was something that I was putting on my user info page, but thought I also ought to post it. I shall link to it from there, I think.

Privacy thoughts. I'm mostly a very open person. I'm also someone who needs to talk to those I'm close to about stuff. To this end, if you tell me stuff and _don't_ tell me it's not to be shared with those I tend to go to for needed conversation, it's not safe to assume that I won't. I might not; there are things which ping my 'not to be talked about' filters even without it being specifically stated, but I also might. Currently, the "people I regularly talk to about stuff" category includes australian_joe, because, well, partner! I believe it also includes aelisdeliria because she's a good friend and she's my roommate, so she gets to hear my babbles.

There are certainly others that I talk to about stuff, but it's less regular, and therefore much less likely to be hit by the other-people's-privacy-concerns filter.

Anyway, this is not to say that I don't keep secrets, because I do and can - I'm just not the best as being able to tell what people might think should be secret. As well, if you tell me/I experience something which directly affects me, I cannot promise to not talk to australian_joe and/or aelisdeliria about it, because things that affect me need to be talked about. I cannot, and should not for my own sanity, make that promise.

Interestingly, I think I treat aelisdeliria like a local partner, at least as far as what I talk to her about. This is probably because I desperately need that 'who can I talk to _right now_' outlet, and she seems fine with being that for me. I shall go state this to her, now that I've realized it, because it probably needs to be stated and confirmed.

Comments

[australian-joe.livejournal.com]

I will add for the sake of anyone else reading this that I am quite fine with wispfox keeping other peoples' secrets from me. I say this because I know some partners have a policy of "keep nothing from each other", which I definitely do *not* follow.

(Example #1: If a third party tells me something, asks me to keep it confidential, and it does not seem to either of us to have any relevance to or impact on any of my partners, then I don't tell any of my partners. I am likewise fine with being on the other end of that.)

For myself, I tend to work on an "opt out" basis. Unless I've said specifically otherwise, anything I say about myself is fine to share.

Interestingly, I am *more* private about sharing details *between* partners than I am about sharing details about partners with non-partners. This is because I strive to keep strong boundaries between each of my serious relationships.

[jedi-diplomat.livejournal.com]

I'm the same way. And what pings my "don't talk about that with anyone else" filter is not always what would ping other people's privacy filter. Sometimes I think mine needs to be readjusted. But I had a very good friend of mine that would tell me things and preface them with "don't mention this to anyone else" which then straight into my privacy filter and while I lie very very very badly, I can and do go "don't know, you'll have to ask them." line. *nod nod*