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Jun. 24th, 2004 11:02 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wispfoxToday's calendar quote:
"Our primary relationship is really with ourselves... Our relationships with other people constantly reflect exactly where we are in the process." -Shakti Gawain
And, in a 'huh' kind of way, I was somewhat surprised to note that I have a fairly strong twinge at the word 'life-long'. And, in investigating my brain, that seems to apply to _everything_. I apparently don't expect anything to be life-long, ever. Me wonders if that has something to do with how much I expect to continue changing, based on past experience, and perhaps with a certain amount of distrust of other people sticking around.
Weird. And interesting. I shall have to keep a mental eye on that reaction, to see how/if it changes.
*simultaneously bouncy and tired today*
"Our primary relationship is really with ourselves... Our relationships with other people constantly reflect exactly where we are in the process." -Shakti Gawain
And, in a 'huh' kind of way, I was somewhat surprised to note that I have a fairly strong twinge at the word 'life-long'. And, in investigating my brain, that seems to apply to _everything_. I apparently don't expect anything to be life-long, ever. Me wonders if that has something to do with how much I expect to continue changing, based on past experience, and perhaps with a certain amount of distrust of other people sticking around.
Weird. And interesting. I shall have to keep a mental eye on that reaction, to see how/if it changes.
*simultaneously bouncy and tired today*
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Date: 2004-06-24 03:23 pm (UTC)I certainly understand the feeling; however, for me, this the ground on which "faith" is taking its last stand in my otherwise most pragmatic mind. There is a part of me that really, really wants to believe in relationships that last the rest of my life in a stable, happy, satisfying place. I don't have illusions of it looking one particular way (say as a Marriage, for example) but I do hold out hope for the possibility of such a thing. The problem is that I don't have any empirical evidence in my own life of such a thing. Other people have told me about people they know that stayed in happy, loving relationships through until the end of their lives, but those are all just legends to me. My own grandparents on both sides got married and stuck it out, but I never observed either of those pairings as having particularly close, loving relationships. Maybe they just weren't expressive in front of me or some such, but I really got more of an impression of a kind of cold, settled-ness, with them living in the same house, yet seeming to be apart more than I got "we've grown old together and we're still glad to be there."