wispfox

Let me first note, I don't grok 'dating' either. It's not something I enjoy, it's not something I understand, and it's something I prefer to not do (probably goes without saying that as a result (not sure which is the chicken and which is the egg myself) I'm not all that good at it, imo, either). I've enjoyed the best relationships (friends, lovers, SOs, you name it) from those relations that have come together organically, through no formalized meetings with specified norms and folkways that only exist for the purpose of hooking up (and which, imo, require at a fundamental level a certain amount of lying-via-obfuscation).

All that aside, in answer to your question, I think it has everything to do with the weight/importance you place on sex. For some, sex is a spiritual connection, a deeper form of understanding, a stronger tie than friendship, a larger trust commitment, an expression of love. For others, sex is recreation, a form of friendship in it's own sake, a physical form of understanding that is no more or less deep but is categorically different, an expression of fondness (or just lust) that requires only a basic amount of trust, if any.

My guess would be that, for you, sex follows the first example, while for many others, sex follows the second format. -H...