(no subject)
May. 28th, 2004 10:20 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wispfoxSo. Fucking. Tired.
On every imaginable level.
I want a different year.
I don't like the fact that I have a bond to someone who is becoming unreal to me, due to lack of connection-maintaining activities (most people are not real to me, but I've never had someone who was fully real _become_ not real, at least not while they were still around). It feels like trying to keep a hold on mist, and I begin to forget why the bond was formed, and why I should care. The pain is losing focus and meaning, and just is.
I begin to wonder if the bond will fade away, too. Without my having to force it.
I fucking _hate_ involuntary learning experiences. Educational though they may be.
Hi. Yes, this is why I've been quiet lately. I'm tired of bitching about things where no change has happened. And the lack of sunlight isn't helping, although the bit of sun yesterday was nice. Supposedly, this weekend is going to be sunny.
On every imaginable level.
I want a different year.
I don't like the fact that I have a bond to someone who is becoming unreal to me, due to lack of connection-maintaining activities (most people are not real to me, but I've never had someone who was fully real _become_ not real, at least not while they were still around). It feels like trying to keep a hold on mist, and I begin to forget why the bond was formed, and why I should care. The pain is losing focus and meaning, and just is.
I begin to wonder if the bond will fade away, too. Without my having to force it.
I fucking _hate_ involuntary learning experiences. Educational though they may be.
Hi. Yes, this is why I've been quiet lately. I'm tired of bitching about things where no change has happened. And the lack of sunlight isn't helping, although the bit of sun yesterday was nice. Supposedly, this weekend is going to be sunny.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
Re: tired
Date: 2004-05-28 07:45 pm (UTC)Relationships also go through cycles; the cycle dipping down into unreality might be new but the cycle may re-assert itself and come back up again. Only time will tell.
I hope you feel better (from your next post) and possibly that is contributing to some of your feelings of unreality towards this person.
Good luck on the sun. I know that can be very important.
*Hug*
no subject
Date: 2004-06-01 05:32 pm (UTC)Possibly, but I think it was more than the feelings of unreality were contributing to the illness.
Still, thanks for the thoughts. :)