Grumpy with school stuff
Apr. 12th, 2010 09:55 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wispfoxI'm quite irritable about school stuff.
In part, it's difficult to not hear "waitlist" as "no". Perhaps in part because I do not want to get my hopes up that enough/any people ahead of me decide to not accept.
In part, I don't want to have to apply to schools again so soon.
In part, I have trouble not hearing it as 'not being good enough' and 'so why bother'. Even though I _did_ get wait-listed, rather than just plain 'no', at the two schools that I actually went to and talked to people at. During a time when the economy sucks so more people are going to school instead, and there is less money for schools and graduate positions really need funding.
In part, I don't like the probability that I will not only not be working, but will also not be in school. Yes, this means that I can do my best to improve my chances for next year (eg, I am going to investigate working in research labs, and perhaps taking classes that I would need to take anyway). But both not working _and_ not being in school seems just plain _wrong_, somehow. Like I failed.
But I really need a break from my current job. And working full-time makes it much harder to do things more specifically to improve my chances of acceptance.
Also, hello huge looming unknown and transition state! Not working? Not being in school? GAH!
So yeah. Grumpy. And avoidy.
And of course I got sick over the weekend and didn't get to go to the Spring party or the massage party or have my date with![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
metahacker. And spent most of my time either sleeping or doing mindless things in WoW. Although galaneia and I did weed a bit yesterday.
I have no idea when I should hear about the waitlist at Brandeis, but Tufts has the 15th as when people need to reply by. Y'know, the day I quit. This week. Thursday.
I truly dislike quitting when I do not have any reason to believe that I have specific plans for when I come back from my trip.
Ah, well. I'll figure it out.
In part, it's difficult to not hear "waitlist" as "no". Perhaps in part because I do not want to get my hopes up that enough/any people ahead of me decide to not accept.
In part, I don't want to have to apply to schools again so soon.
In part, I have trouble not hearing it as 'not being good enough' and 'so why bother'. Even though I _did_ get wait-listed, rather than just plain 'no', at the two schools that I actually went to and talked to people at. During a time when the economy sucks so more people are going to school instead, and there is less money for schools and graduate positions really need funding.
In part, I don't like the probability that I will not only not be working, but will also not be in school. Yes, this means that I can do my best to improve my chances for next year (eg, I am going to investigate working in research labs, and perhaps taking classes that I would need to take anyway). But both not working _and_ not being in school seems just plain _wrong_, somehow. Like I failed.
But I really need a break from my current job. And working full-time makes it much harder to do things more specifically to improve my chances of acceptance.
Also, hello huge looming unknown and transition state! Not working? Not being in school? GAH!
So yeah. Grumpy. And avoidy.
And of course I got sick over the weekend and didn't get to go to the Spring party or the massage party or have my date with
metahacker. And spent most of my time either sleeping or doing mindless things in WoW. Although galaneia and I did weed a bit yesterday.I have no idea when I should hear about the waitlist at Brandeis, but Tufts has the 15th as when people need to reply by. Y'know, the day I quit. This week. Thursday.
I truly dislike quitting when I do not have any reason to believe that I have specific plans for when I come back from my trip.
Ah, well. I'll figure it out.
