brains.sexuality, brains.gender
May. 19th, 2009 03:45 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wispfoxFrom http://followsthesun.com/?p=149 (NSFW!)
"[...] I worked hard to become One Of The Guys, and rather than fight the laughing misogyny of the young bastards I hung out with, I absorbed it. I have it to this day, meshing poorly with deep seated feminism — a feeling that if women are just as smart and capable as men are, if only they would stop being so fucking irrational all the time."
I. Um. Yes.
I have deep-seated conviction that women are crazy. Irrational, manipulative, needy, game-playing, untrustworthy.
I think I got this belief not just from various boys I grew up with and the culture I grew up in, but from my mother; I think she also believes this.
I have exceptions to this rule. But. In my head, they are exceptions.
You will note that I am a woman.
You may also note that I am a bisexual woman.
It is not as if I do not have personal experience which indicates that men are just as likely to be all of these things, and it is not as if I do not have - at this point - experience indicating that women are _not_ as a whole any more or less crazy than men. ("at this point" because by far most of my friends growing up were boys, not girls. I still get perplexed by how many women I know and am friends with, now)
I know that _people_ are irrational, that humans are trained to play stupid games, that the rest of those traits are just as likely in people of any gender. I know it, but that deep-seated conviction remains.
Any logical being might expect that since most of my dating and sexual experience has been with men, and I've had my fair share of unfortunate and downright _wrong_ experiences as the direct result of manipulative, untrustworthy men, I'd have at least evened out (if not reversed) that conviction, that expectation. But not so.
I strongly suspect that my feeling of intimidation of many women - especially if I'm attracted to them - is in fact fear, based in my deep-seated conviction that women are dangerous and going to hurt me. That something about women means that they are speaking some foreign language that I do not speak, and they will not understand that I do not (this is _not_ helped by the fact that most people _do_ speak a language I have trouble with, that of body language, and that women are apparently more often good at it) and get angry and lash out at me because of it. And I won't have any idea why. (note: this is in fact something that has happened to me with men I've dated, but not with any of the admittedly low number of women that I've dated; I suspect sheer numbers, here, not any actual reflection of gender-based behavior)
This combines very poorly with the fact that I am attracted to more women, more often, and more quickly than men. Because most women _scare_ me.
So. Yes. I don't know that I particularly had a point here. That quote above was just too... applicable to not comment on.
"[...] I worked hard to become One Of The Guys, and rather than fight the laughing misogyny of the young bastards I hung out with, I absorbed it. I have it to this day, meshing poorly with deep seated feminism — a feeling that if women are just as smart and capable as men are, if only they would stop being so fucking irrational all the time."
I. Um. Yes.
I have deep-seated conviction that women are crazy. Irrational, manipulative, needy, game-playing, untrustworthy.
I think I got this belief not just from various boys I grew up with and the culture I grew up in, but from my mother; I think she also believes this.
I have exceptions to this rule. But. In my head, they are exceptions.
You will note that I am a woman.
You may also note that I am a bisexual woman.
It is not as if I do not have personal experience which indicates that men are just as likely to be all of these things, and it is not as if I do not have - at this point - experience indicating that women are _not_ as a whole any more or less crazy than men. ("at this point" because by far most of my friends growing up were boys, not girls. I still get perplexed by how many women I know and am friends with, now)
I know that _people_ are irrational, that humans are trained to play stupid games, that the rest of those traits are just as likely in people of any gender. I know it, but that deep-seated conviction remains.
Any logical being might expect that since most of my dating and sexual experience has been with men, and I've had my fair share of unfortunate and downright _wrong_ experiences as the direct result of manipulative, untrustworthy men, I'd have at least evened out (if not reversed) that conviction, that expectation. But not so.
I strongly suspect that my feeling of intimidation of many women - especially if I'm attracted to them - is in fact fear, based in my deep-seated conviction that women are dangerous and going to hurt me. That something about women means that they are speaking some foreign language that I do not speak, and they will not understand that I do not (this is _not_ helped by the fact that most people _do_ speak a language I have trouble with, that of body language, and that women are apparently more often good at it) and get angry and lash out at me because of it. And I won't have any idea why. (note: this is in fact something that has happened to me with men I've dated, but not with any of the admittedly low number of women that I've dated; I suspect sheer numbers, here, not any actual reflection of gender-based behavior)
This combines very poorly with the fact that I am attracted to more women, more often, and more quickly than men. Because most women _scare_ me.
So. Yes. I don't know that I particularly had a point here. That quote above was just too... applicable to not comment on.
