wispfox

I went on in length, and decided to, with some modifications, make it into a post. Note that this is all stuff that has worked for me; I make no claims for anyone else.

This one is one that may be difficult for many people to do, but probably a good suggestion for people in general anyway. I found that spending time with no one else to be responsible for just _figuring myself out_ helped a lot. The past few years have been _much_ less bad.

Getting enough non-demanding social time, where I could get cuddles and such without having to talk. Or be perky.

Setting up a filter in my head such that, when I knew I was in a bad state, I _would not talk_ was good. Difficult, but good. Worst case, now, I'll snap at someone or something, but then I'll notice, and stop trying to be verbal or social. (It's truly sad to find one's self snapping at one's cat for being too demanding...)

Asking other people to keep an eye on my mood level, and remind me to use my light helps. Because if I've asked them to say something at such and such a point, my first reaction might be to snap, but I generally don't actually _do_ so before I've realized that they are doing what I asked for. And then I have to go _do_ it.

Having a broad/full-spectrum (or a plant) light at work, next to my monitor, and turned on when I'm there, during the winter is an amazing help. Even if it does confuse people. It's good to turn it away from one's cube door, or you'll blind passerbys and visitors.

Remembering to not try to be as social as I might want to be.

Remembering to sleep more than I want, and to take melatonin 30 minutes before sleep so as to counteract the effects of the melatonin cycle never really turning off due to insufficiently direct light. It may not be on & off, but at least its 'normal' level and higher level for sleep. Sleep worked a bit better with melatonin.

I also have an anti-stress thing that

australian_joe mentioned a while ago on his journal, that also helps me sleep because it makes my brain less annoyingly chatty. If I weren't feeling lazy, and about to try to get ready for bed, I'd go find the name of it.

Keeping an eye on my internals and being aware of points during which I'm cycling and/or worrying about stupid things (this is due to lots of practice, I think).

Being aware that patience helps. It really does. The light is improving, now. The worst parts are between the last couple weeks of December throught most of Feb, with the last two weeks in Jan and the first two in Feb being _horrid_. I've thought about trying to take time during those weeks and heading south, but I've not tried it yet.

It's very difficult to go to work and get anything done for that truly awful month of time. Letting my boss know that I will be getting in later during this time of year helped. I worried less, and fought my body less. This does assume an understanding boss, though. I warned him when he hired me that my arriving at work time would vary depending on season.

I also have a sunrise alarm clock, which starts brightening about 30 minutes before it's supposed to go off. It helps a bit, too.

Light box. Seriously. When you start to feel yourself getting irritable, use it. If you don't notice, and someone else does, ask them to mention it to you. Although, now that I have the full-spectrum light at work, I needed it less this year.

(I am not sure what the differences, if any, between full-spectrum, broad-spectrum, and plant grow lights are. I think mine is full-spectrum at work. I can, however, walk into a room during this time of year and tell you if the light is the right 'kind' of light)

Um... remind yourself that no matter _how_ bad some random thing in your head feels, it's almost certain to not be that bad, at least during the worst part of this time of year. But! Make note of what you notice. Some of them might still be important at other times of year, when you _can_ work through them. And some might not, but might point at other problems. The fewer things you have to worry about or be paranoid about, the easier things get (for some value of easier, of course). Knowing one's self and having much good around you helps, a lot.

It _is_ an educational time of year, if you listen. But don't try to act on any of it until a more stable time of year. Just don't. Really. Everyone, including you, will thank you for it.

And, expect that once you start coming back out of the worst part of the year and things start improving (um. This time of year, for me), you'll be very itchy. There will be things you forgot you wanted to think about, and they'll hijack your brain. Listen to them, make note of them, but again - don't take them as absolute truth or things that must be worked on _now_. Wait a month or so. Look at them again. They might be normal, regular things in your head, or they might be things you want to take care of later.

And. Just because they _are_ normal things in your head does not mean that they are therefore invalid or wrong. It does, however, probably mean that they are not something that must be solved, right now. This is a time of year when verbalizing things as simply things that need to come out of your head (LJ, anyone?), rather than things you need to work on or have solved, might be good. This also happens, for me, on the way down into the evil time of year. Late Nov/early Dec-ish.

If someone absolutely has to talk to you about something which requires your input this time of year, warn them, and keep _very_ close watch on your ability to deal with things. Trying to talk about things this time of year can be tricky, but with sufficient care and it not happening much, it _can_ happen. It's stressful watching one's self that closely, though, so expect to need to decompress.

Expect paranoia. Expect irritability. Expect to feel like everyone else is being stupid or irrational. (but be aware at some level at least that it's probably you. Not necessarily, but probably. Try to remember whether or not these people tended to make sense normally or not...)

Go read my post I wrote about it, if you haven't already:

(I think I actually wrote two. One when I started to feel it, and one when I was starting to feel the _worst_ of it. I can't find the former, though.)

http://www.livejournal.com/users/wispfox/123455.html