(no subject)

[wispfox]

Realized midway through falling asleep that some of the people reading my journal have not known me long enough to realize that seasonal crap is normal for me - it's been going on for more than a decade (since senior year of high school). I'll be fine. This time of year is just tough on me. And on anyone I'm close to, I suspect. Thus the warning.

Basically, I'll be low on patience, low on energy, high on moodiness, very touchy, and pretty easily irritated (indeed, earlier I snapped at my roommate for not 'having the right response'. *sigh*). And horrible at making decisions. And tend to seek out activities/situations/etc which act as uppers for me (for example, this is the one time of year I actually crave dark chocolate), not necessarily wisely. (In other words, for those who know the symptoms, clinically depressed. And the fact that I tend to have major trouble sleeping and need significantly more sleep as a part of it makes it worse)

Yes, I have light boxes. Yes, I use broad spectrum lights. No, heat doesn't help - it's a light-related thing. No, sleeping aids don't help - chemical sleep aids apparently can't do much when my mind simply refuses to shut the hell up.

Touch helps, affection helps, not having to make decisions helps, appropriate light sources help, getting enough sleep helps. I am apparently babbling at this point, possibly even repeating myself. So I'm stopping at this point, with the repetition that I *will* be ok. I've dealt with this for years. It just sucks. Big time.

Also... depending on your tolerance for depressing poetry, a couple poems I wrote back in '97 about this time of year's effect on me.