huh!

[wispfox]

I have, in fact, proven myself capable of accidentally asking someone out on a date.

I didn't know this was _possible_, and yet I succeeded. Go, me!

I shall now go be somewhat bemused for a while (in a good way). :)

Comments

[uberjay.livejournal.com]

He he he! :)

[drwex]

Accidentally? Enquiring minds want to know!

[wispfox.livejournal.com]

In my head at least, informing someone that there is interest/crushiness is not the same as asking them out, especially if one thinks there are probably reasons that it's unlikely to change anything to share that information.

But it can be interpreted as such.

[chaiya.livejournal.com]

*giggle*

[drwex]

Ah, perhaps this is a your-head/my-head thing. I would indeed interpret your statement to that effect as an asking-out. Or at the very least an opening to suggest a mutually agreeable furtherance of the interest.

[australian-joe.livejournal.com]

See? See?! 8-)

[australian-joe.livejournal.com]

[increases efforts on the make-out alarm]

[cutieperson]

i am with you :) interest is not the same as wanting/being able to act on interest. *nod*

[mactavish.livejournal.com]

I think you're much better at this sort of thing than I am.

[deyo.livejournal.com]

Nice icon.

[jasra]

Thank you for trying to help with this. Tonight was just Bad Timing. Another time though!

[wispfox.livejournal.com]

...

Huh. I'm not sure if to parse this, really.

Informing people of interest? Initiating action based on said interest? Determining mutual interest?

I'm actually pretty good with informing people of interest, simply because it's actually fairly rare for my interest to remain past the initial meeting of people, so it seems... polite to let people know of such so that they don't get confusing signals from me based on said interest. I tend to wait to make sure the interest is one that lasts long enough to matter, though.

And expressing said interest is _MUCH_ easier in email than in person. I am... not terribly coherent in indicating interset in person.

And, expressing interest when there is hope/expectation/worry that things will change because of it is _much_ harder than when it really is just about sharing information.

Dunno. I've tended to be the one asking people out most of my life, so it's kinda a neat change that it's not always the case. :)

[wispfox.livejournal.com]

*amused*

[mactavish.livejournal.com]

But you do it. I fuss about it, I hope they notice that I'm interested, I flirt in hopes that I can figure out whether I'm really interested and it might last, or will wear off fast.

Back when I was dating more actively, I'd often think someone was a very good match for me and find out after a few months and some drama that the match was actually pretty bad, so now I have this tendency to sort of dance around someone I'm interested in, without saying anything, for a long time, hoping to figure out without words whether s/he's more deeply interested in me, or whether I'm actually and truly really interested or have a crush that's not maintainable. Sometimes it takes knowing someone for awhile to find that out. Then, after much dancing, it becomes moot, or too late.

Sometimes I wish I were more bold about it, but sometimes I think that will just screw things up.

[vvvexation.livejournal.com]

I would think it's likely to be interpreted as such, when offered without qualifiers, simply because most people don't want to risk making things awkward by informing someone else of their interest when they don't need to act on it. Yeah, I know it sounds like it should be scarier to bring it up if you do have an emotional investment, but I think for a lot of people it's scary enough to mention it under either circumstance that they figure they might as well not if they can avoid it.

[wispfox.livejournal.com]

FWIW, there were actually qualifiers explaining why I did not expect the information to change anything. :)

And I just feel like it's... polite to let people know if I have a crush and I see them with any frequency and such. Simply because I have no idea if I act any differently, and my body language is confusing enough without added complication of unshared information which could affect my body language.

*shrug* *amused* My brain is weird. Also, for me, it is _much_ easier to note that I have interest than to be saying it in a way where I am actually intending to try to ask someone out. But the previous paragraph may be part of why that is. :)

[vvvexation.livejournal.com]

Okay, if there were qualifiers then that's a little weird.

[australian-joe.livejournal.com]

You don't get out of it that easily!! 8-)

[wispfox.livejournal.com]

Get out of... what, exactly?

[australian-joe.livejournal.com]

Our of me teasing you and lecturing you!

(Nice icon.)

[wispfox.livejournal.com]

Right. Because I would _possibly_ expect that you'd stop teasing and/or lecturing me as appropriate. I do the same to you, and all! ;)

[australian-joe.livejournal.com]

Well, you *are* pretty cheeky, and I've learned to simulate it too, in self-defence.

[wispfox.livejournal.com]

...

Yes. That's it. Clearly.

And I'm never, ever sarcastic, either.