[link, xtina, brains]

[wispfox]

ladytabitha notes that the corollary to "communicate, communicate, communicate" should be "pay attention!".

And yes, I _do_ realize that people (myself included) have trouble with body language. I feel like even in those cases, there is still other information than words. Perhaps, things like people suddenly getting quiet, or not being as chatty as normal, or something. Behaving differently than normal, vs. body language signals. And yes, sometimes the reason for strange behavior is because someone is feeling unwell; that's still something that's useful to know, because - if nothing else - people who don't feel well tend to want different things than when they do feel well.

Of course, my next corollary now wants to be "if someone close to you asks if you're ok, take a moment to see if you can figure out why they are asking, before replying". I mostly note this one because I've run into too many people who say they are fine when they are not, and obviously not. And I do understand automatic responses, as I might answer automatically before answering for real, depending on my distraction levels.

As with everything, it's about doing the best you can, not about being perfect in your ability to communicate.

Of course, in my head, paying attention to cues which may not be words is part of communicating. Communication should be using all input available, and not just a subset. I will note that I strongly prefer verbal communication to confirm the things I'm picking up through other methods. Largely because, for me at least, the other methods are more vague and abstract, and have too many possible meanings. Words can and often do, as well, but they are easier (for me) to use to home in on something.

Comments

[wispfox.livejournal.com]

context would be inappropriate to tell people how I'm actually doing (like with coworkers)

This, I get. This doesn't bother me, much.

Unless it's that someone close is asking, in which case some sort of acknowledgement of the query and the poor context would be good...

I'm _not_ really OK, but I don't feel like talking about it, either because I've talked about it too much already, or I'd just prefer to burn through whatever the bad feeling is myself.

This...

is harder on me. If someone can even simply say that they are not up for talking about it, that's sufficient. Rather than that they are ok.

And, again, note that I'm talking about if someone one is close to is doing the asking.

[lediva.livejournal.com]

I could see that.

I dunno, it just seems easier at the time. Usually when I'm trying to ignore something (in this case, particular emotions), even acknowledging its existence is troublesome.

Also, it sometimes feels like telling someone you don't want to talk about something is akin to telling them that you don't want to talk about it with THAT PERSON, as if it was some sort of personal failing on their part.

I claim none of this as particularly rational, mind you.