That's because - except when things decide to refuse to be ignored - I'm _not_ doing this poorly. The job thing has been gradually getting more frustrating and difficult to ignore (especially when people keep making stupid choices which affect me), and then my cat started having all sorts of problems (although none affect him right _now_, except in that it's more dangerous for him to be anesthetized, which make it more difficult to deal with the mass). I think that was just the last straw for my ability to cope, because it's both worry for him and a delay for me escaping a field of work that I'm very tired of.
If I could just figure out how to let this emotional stuff _out_, I'd probably be a lot better. But it's been slowly building, and I can't figure out how to do more than let little bits of it out.
And, most people didn't know about the sum total of what this post contained; even those who knew all the pieces didn't, I don't think, realize the total effect. I don't _like_ complaining about things I can cope with. But it appears to have gotten beyond easy coping at this point, at least based on how emotional unstable I am.
And... I don't really think that Psinging's song mix really needs to change. It varies enough naturally; I think it was just that that was what made me no longer able to ignore the fact that I was trying to cope with too damn much all at once.
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Date: 2005-04-10 03:16 pm (UTC)That's because - except when things decide to refuse to be ignored - I'm _not_ doing this poorly. The job thing has been gradually getting more frustrating and difficult to ignore (especially when people keep making stupid choices which affect me), and then my cat started having all sorts of problems (although none affect him right _now_, except in that it's more dangerous for him to be anesthetized, which make it more difficult to deal with the mass). I think that was just the last straw for my ability to cope, because it's both worry for him and a delay for me escaping a field of work that I'm very tired of.
If I could just figure out how to let this emotional stuff _out_, I'd probably be a lot better. But it's been slowly building, and I can't figure out how to do more than let little bits of it out.
And, most people didn't know about the sum total of what this post contained; even those who knew all the pieces didn't, I don't think, realize the total effect. I don't _like_ complaining about things I can cope with. But it appears to have gotten beyond easy coping at this point, at least based on how emotional unstable I am.
And... I don't really think that Psinging's song mix really needs to change. It varies enough naturally; I think it was just that that was what made me no longer able to ignore the fact that I was trying to cope with too damn much all at once.
And thanks.