[links]

[wispfox]

On ozarque's journal:

Verbal self-defense; references on emotional pain research
Verbal self-defense; the ability to "choose" your emotions; part one

And, on theferrett's journal, If you want people to understand you, you must work at it. And understand that even your most loved ones will frequently not know you in the ways you want them to — which, in turn, means forgetting one of your critical hot-buttons is not an automatic and damning proof that they don't love you. It's just the way we're wired.

Comments

[rosefox]

With regard to the latter, I know more people who get upset at themselves for not memorizing their SOs' hot buttons than people who get mad at their SOs for it.

[wispfox.livejournal.com]

Huh.

I... have multiple replies!

a) I'm not aware of anyone who gets mad about not knowing their SO's hot buttons, but that may be because I'm so damn careful to let people know that I _expect_ people to forget things because I do. Note that I _do_ know people who get (usually briefly) frustrated with forgetting things about their SOs, but that's different.

b) I suspect that people's reactions to forgetting people's hot buttons probably depends on how dramatic the reaction to said forgetting tends to be? If it's intensely difficult a reaction, one will have stronger incentive to avoid it, even if it's not totally possible.

*shrug*

I thought it was a neat post, nonetheless. :)