[SAD]

[wispfox]

Ok, having someone comment that I'm doing better this winter was _not_ to be interpreted as me needing a reminder of what winters are normally like for me. Seriously.

Whoever claimed that the ability to question if one is sane means that one is sane is wrong. I'm perfectly capable of looking at the inside of my head right now, seeing the fact that I'm ridiculously sad for no apparent reason, wanting to sleep more or less constantly even though that's not something I can actually do, desperately wanting to hide/escape from everything, intensely irritable but not actually particularly overstim'd, and hating people in general, and deciding that I am, in fact, not particularly rational or sane right now.

Also, that was one hell of a run-on sentence.

Without SAM-e this time of year, I'd be in a 'Too depressed/down to care' state right now. With SAM-e, I appear to get to have the inconsistent state where I tend to really desperately want uppers (any/all uppers - this is part of why I'm so damn careful about uppers) and keep forgetting that SAD is a factor in things, instead. That normally has tended to happen from late Nov-Dec, and then again from March-April sometime. On one hand, sure - it's nice that this appear to affect me for far less time. On the other hand, I really really _hate_ the intermediate state.

Because of the dramatically non-rational state of my mind right now, I'm going to attempt to not post anything actually about the inside of my head until I feel a bit more rational. We'll see how well I manage. And we'll see how many times I forget that my random irrationality is seasonal. This may mean I post mostly links to other people for the rest of this month.

Fucking February. And I've been using my damn light regularly, and going outside a _lot_ because it's been nice out! (Also, I don't think the additional dose of SAM-e each day is actually having any effect)

Comments

[bridgetester.livejournal.com]

I shall attempt to find you good links to cross-post then.