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wispfoxRandom bits of questions, more or less related to other conversations I'm having elsewhere. I'll reply to the things I ask in a comment.
-Do things in your head sometimes surprise you?
-If things in your head ever surprise you, how do you handle it?
-Do you feel like you know yourself very well?
-If you don't feel like you know yourself very well, do you want to? Do you feel like it affects your life in any way (positive or negative)?
-Do you feel like it's important to check in with the stuff in your head regularly, or are you confident that you will know about changes in your head when they happen?
-Do you feel the need to share changes in your head with other people? If so, who (names not needed; their relationships to you would probably be useful), and why? If not, and if you can explain it, why not?
[edit: I'm asking this because I'm curious as to how other people's brains might work in this regard]
-Do things in your head sometimes surprise you?
-If things in your head ever surprise you, how do you handle it?
-Do you feel like you know yourself very well?
-If you don't feel like you know yourself very well, do you want to? Do you feel like it affects your life in any way (positive or negative)?
-Do you feel like it's important to check in with the stuff in your head regularly, or are you confident that you will know about changes in your head when they happen?
-Do you feel the need to share changes in your head with other people? If so, who (names not needed; their relationships to you would probably be useful), and why? If not, and if you can explain it, why not?
[edit: I'm asking this because I'm curious as to how other people's brains might work in this regard]
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no subject
Date: 2004-10-28 06:39 pm (UTC)When things surprise me, I feel an intense, driving need to figure out why they happened, what's the likely cause, how it can be avoided, and how it can be explained. Preferably, I like to do this investigation with other people to get additional viewpoints (and, since I include those people I am closest to, so they know what's going on in my head!), as well as to share any insights I might find.
I feel like I know myself reasonably well, and far, far, far better than I did, say, 3-4 years ago.
When I did not know myself very well, I wanted to, but I didn't understand where to start, and wasn't completely conscious of how many different ways that fact was affecting me.
I do feel a need to check in with myself regularly, especially if I know there are extra stresses in my life. I do _not_ tend to become aware of changes in my head immediately, because they percalate up to a conscious level at an variable rate.
I very much feel a need to share changes in my head with the people I'm closest to, because it feels like things they should know about, and be involved with exploring. 'People I'm closest to' is the best description of the people I feel the need to share everything with I can come up with, and who is included in that description varies depending on the type of information in question. Some people always get such info, some don't.
no subject
Date: 2004-10-28 10:30 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-10-29 03:33 pm (UTC)That, too. :)
no subject
Date: 2004-10-28 06:48 pm (UTC)I like to say that they do, but honestly, no. Not really. Once in a rare while, but I honestly do consider myself a simple creature easily derived from a small number of first principles, and I'm always astonished when others disagree on that point.
-If things in your head ever surprise you, how do you handle it?
Rearrange my views to match reality.
-Do you feel like you know yourself very well?
Yes, actually. Good and bad, I've had a few years to get used to what I am and how my changes function by now.
-Do you feel like it's important to check in with the stuff in your head regularly, or are you confident that you will know about changes in your head when they happen?
It's important for me to check in. I need my introspective moments, perhaps often. Long bus rides are fantastic for this, for example. And late night green tea moments. I believe in leading an examined, self-aware life. I think it's related to my pride issues - how can I take pride in what I am if I don't honestly try to understand what I am and keep myself updated?
-Do you feel the need to share changes in your head with other people? If so, who (names not needed; their relationships to you would probably be useful), and why? If not, and if you can explain it, why not?
Depends on the change. People must be informed of changes that affect them. Close friends are usually informed of changes generally, in part because I find it very helpful to bounce my interpretations of myself off of other people. With people like that I tend to say things and then figure out whether they sounded true in my mouth, then explain what I seem to really think a moment later.
no subject
Date: 2004-10-29 03:33 pm (UTC)So... can you enumerate those first principles?
*curious*
no subject
Date: 2004-10-29 05:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-01-08 10:46 pm (UTC)Hmm...
Date: 2004-10-28 06:56 pm (UTC)Absolutely.
If things in your head ever surprise you, how do you handle it?
Usually, I just forget about or shrug it off. Depends on how deep it goes, or how I think it affects my life.
Do you feel like you know yourself very well?
Quite. I love being me! You can't like being yourself if you don't know who you are.
Do you feel like it's important to check in with the stuff in your head regularly, or are you confident that you will know about changes in your head when they happen?
I generally accept change fairly well. Often times, I seek it out. I'm quite the neophile in certain ways.
Do you feel the need to share changes in your head with other people? If so, who (names not needed; their relationships to you would probably be useful), and why? If not, and if you can explain it, why not?
Not terribly often do I feel the need to share things with everyone, but the first person to know about strange beholdings of my head is most always my wife. She's my best and closest friend, and often times, random things in my head could affect her. I also have a select few friends who I am *very* open with.
-- Lon
no subject
Date: 2004-10-28 07:06 pm (UTC)Yes, lots.
-If things in your head ever surprise you, how do you handle it?
I think and/or write and/or talk about them until I find ways to relate them to the rest of the things in my head.
-Do you feel like you know yourself very well?
Yes, but I never cease to surprise myself anyway, and I never want to, just as I never want to cease being surprised by my friends and loved ones no matter how well I know them.
-Do you feel like it's important to check in with the stuff in your head regularly, or are you confident that you will know about changes in your head when they happen?
I check in now and again. Sometimes gradual changes can happen without my noticing otherwise, and I like to make sure changes in my head are fully synched with all the different parts of me, which requires some conscious attention on my part.
-Do you feel the need to share changes in your head with other people? If so, who (names not needed; their relationships to you would probably be useful), and why? If not, and if you can explain it, why not?
For most changes, I want to share them with friends and loved ones. Only rarely do I *need* to and then usually that's with a life partner or very very close friend/love, or with someone directly impacted by the change in some way.
no subject
Date: 2004-10-29 03:35 pm (UTC)Yes...
I'm fascinated by the variation in replies to this particular question.
Some people aren't sure what I'm asking, others know instantly (it seems), others seem to sorta get it.
This is neat!
no subject
Date: 2004-10-28 07:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-10-28 07:42 pm (UTC)I'm befuddled at the conclusions that I've come to about myself, just in the last couple of months. All of which is making me think long and carefully about all sorts of me-isms.
I have not been very dilagent in checking in with the junk in my head (I don't think)...but it's an intriguing path, that's for sure. :)
no subject
Date: 2004-10-28 07:53 pm (UTC)Point! Hadn't thought about it, but yeah, certainly related.
I have not been very dilagent in checking in with the junk in my head (I don't think)...but it's an intriguing path, that's for sure. :)
I used to not be very dilagent, but I've apparently finally managed to get myself to a space where parts of me get annoyed with myself if I don't do so as needed.
Indeed, on the intriguing path! And, myself, I hope it never stops being such. I like finding out new things about myself (but not so much when they decide to bite). :)
no subject
Date: 2004-10-28 07:58 pm (UTC)Rarely. But sometimes they do.
If things in your head ever surprise you, how do you handle it?
If someone else is involved, I try to be very honest about the situation: "Listen, I don't know why I'm thinking this, but I am, and I think I should tell you even though it doesn't make sense: blahblahblah."
If it's just me, and if I want to change that thing, I try to make a note every time I think the thing, and each time, try to consciously think about an alternate thing instead. ("Man, I'm so faaat and I hate it. Wait... no, even though I might be larger than average, and even though I could probably safely lose some body fat, my body is still very attractive, and I'm healthy and very strong. Go me. *nod")
Do you feel like you know yourself very well?
My self-knowledge is good, but not perfect. I keep getting better, though.
Do you feel like it's important to check in with the stuff in your head regularly[...]?
I don't think I know how to check in with my own self-image in a deliberate, explicit way like that. It might be a good idea, but I don't think I can do it.
Do you feel the need to share changes in your head with other people?
The people that are close enough to me to really need to know are usually part of the discovery process. Sometimes, I feel this need enough to share things with friends, but it's usually in a "huh, guess what I discovered?" kind of way.
no subject
Date: 2004-10-28 08:07 pm (UTC)Huh. That's totally not how I would have phrased it, sufficiently so that I don't know how I would do that, either!
More, what I tend to do, is take time to listen to what's in my head, most especially for change, and even more so for unexpected or changes whose reason I cannot see.
And I don't really know how to explain what I do beyond the above. Interesting!
Also... CHEW THROUGH BONE!
no subject
Date: 2004-10-28 08:16 pm (UTC)CHEW THROUGH BONE!
no subject
Date: 2004-10-28 08:34 pm (UTC)Perhaps otherwise phrased as checking on my mental state, both short-term and not so short-term.
(tasty, tasty bone...)
no subject
Date: 2004-10-28 08:38 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-10-28 08:51 pm (UTC)I have both the mental state bits, which tend to be easier to notice, and the place where loose bits that jostle around happen to start connecting to mental states unexpectedly.
But yes, it is mostly about mental (and emotional) states.
no subject
Date: 2004-10-28 08:58 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-10-28 09:02 pm (UTC)(I really want shoes with teeth now. Damn you and your icon!)
no subject
Date: 2004-10-28 09:07 pm (UTC)For what it's worth, I said "self-image" because the things that knock me upside the head are usually things like "what do you mean, I'm a jock? I never exercise!" .... "Waaait." However, jostly bits can really be anything.
(I want shoes with teeth, too!)
no subject
Date: 2004-10-29 03:27 pm (UTC)(I mean, I'd not label you a jock, because I don't seem to be able to combine 'geek' and 'jock' in the same person in my head, and you are most definitely, and tastily, a geek!)
TEEEETH!
no subject
Date: 2004-10-29 03:38 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-10-29 12:51 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-10-28 10:38 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-10-29 03:41 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-10-29 03:43 pm (UTC)Fascinatingly, the first part (before you said 'wait') confused me so mightily in relation to my sense of you that I wasn't entirely sure if you were referring to something that actually goes through your head, or if it was simply a random example.
So, yeah. Indeed on the attractiveness, and highly confused by the idea of you as fat. :)
no subject
Date: 2004-10-29 03:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-10-28 10:16 pm (UTC)Yes, I feel I know myself pretty well at this point.
I share changes in beliefs and attitudes with my partner and often in my LJ. Sometimes I think I share too much. :)
no subject
Date: 2004-10-28 10:24 pm (UTC)I had a situation once where (this is grotesquely oversimplified) I was in unrequited love with somebody and sat down with her and made that clear, but then a few years later when she found out that was still the case, it was a Big Problem. (Again, let me reiterate that that’s a ridiculous oversimplification of the real situation, just to give you an idea of the problem domain.) After that experience, I’ve made some effort to repeat myself so as to make sure people don’t sweep potentially uncomfortable stuff about me under the rug. (I may have overcompensated.)
no subject
Date: 2004-10-29 03:36 pm (UTC)I suspect the same is true for me, as well as that I tend to have trouble remembering things about myself the first few times I realize those things. Which is annoying...
Re: self-knowledge
Date: 2004-10-29 12:14 am (UTC)Not very often but then changes tend to occur slowly. There have been times when odd things happen; the rarity is a part of the oddity. Back when I was still spelunking in parts of myself, I wasn't surprised because I _expected_ to be learning new things about myself. These days when I find a new/different bit, I'm fascinated.
If things in your head ever surprise you, how do you handle it?
Well, considering that it's a part of myself, I have to accept it. Rejecting it just because I'm not the way that I expected to be just doesn't work. I've found that refusing to accept myself leads to all sorts of trouble and I have to accept it eventually anyway. I figure to get it over with and just accept me as I am without the extra trouble.
Do you feel like you know yourself very well?
I think I know myself relatively well. I can in general predict my responses to most things and I know how to evaluate situations that I can't predict so that it's useful to me later. I think there are vast reaches in me that I haven't explored yet but that's because I haven't figured out how to get there. I have explored all the places that I _have_ found and I'm still looking for other ways to access those places I don't know about yet.
If you don't feel like you know yourself very well, do you want to? Do you feel like it affects your life in any way (positive or negative)?
As I mentioned, I'm looking for ways and places of myself that I don't know yet. I know there is much that I don't know but I do what I can. Considering that there is much of social interaction that I just don't understand, I've found that knowing myself is useful in social situations so that I can figure out how to flow with the social dynamic without wondering if I'm going to change underneath me.
Do you feel like it's important to check in with the stuff in your head regularly, or are you confident that you will know about changes in your head when they happen?
I'm note quite sure what this question is asking. I think that my check with myself routine is so ingrained in my normal routine that I can't conceive of not doing so. I do know that I don't just suddenly know when something changes; it's a part of my internal maintenance of my selfness to find these things out.
Do you feel the need to share changes in your head with other people? If so, who (names not needed; their relationships to you would probably be useful), and why? If not, and if you can explain it, why not?
I do share things when I can. Sometimes I even involve those close to me in the discovery process. Having other inputs is very, very handy although ultimately, I am autocratic about how I am and how I do things. I also share of myself with others close to me since they interact with me and unannounced changes can be disconcerting. Unfortunately, I have grave difficulties englishing what the changes are at times and it can take extensive discussion. Thankfully, I like to talk.
I'm thinking that I might want to post this in my journal as well. These are good questions to ask and answer about myself.
Re: self-knowledge
Date: 2004-10-29 03:37 pm (UTC)And I'm getting some interesting replies!
Like, the variety in how well people interpret my question about checking in with what's in one's head. Some know precisely what I mean, some sorta understand, and some completely don't - and it doesn't seem to be true that not getting what I mean necessarily means that someone works differently than me (witness the conversation above between
no subject
Date: 2004-10-29 03:29 am (UTC)-Do things in your head sometimes surprise you?
Not usually. I know most of the stuff that is in there by now. I’m occasionally surprised by what evokes a connection to be made or by the strength of an emotional reaction but very infrequently by the general nature of the occurrence.
-If things in your head ever surprise you, how do you handle it?
That depends on the nature of the surprise. Some amount of introspection is usually in order. If an immediate response is required I will typically seek a way to put if off and be outwardly neutral.
-Do you feel like you know yourself very well?
Yes but, that knowledge also includes understanding that I have areas I need/want to grow in and that those parts of me are less well defined.
-Do you feel like it's important to check in with the stuff in your head regularly, or are you confident that you will know about changes in your head when they happen?
I’m pretty clear on what is in my head on an ongoing basis. Automatic feedback loops are engaged and active. There are times I will get something that does not quite surfaced to full awareness. When I was younger these occurrences would trigger bouts of mild anxiety/stress and procrastination. The procrastination would feedback and cause the stress to get worse. These days I recognize when that starts happening and will short circuit the bad feedback loop and drop into introspection sooner. I still tend to let the procrastination linger though.
-Do you feel the need to share changes in your head with other people? If so, who (names not needed; their relationships to you would probably be useful), and why? If not, and if you can explain it, why not?
With my wife I share anything of consequence in my life. I have a close circle of long time friends that I will share things with usually but not as immediately or as completely as with my wife. Outside those few people I typically will only note changes in specific circumstances as needed.
no subject
Date: 2004-10-29 06:38 am (UTC)Yeah.
I hate feeling helpless more than anything else, so I generally like to take concrete action, even on insolvable problems. If someone I know is having a really hard life right now and it upsets me, I want to cook for them, or help them out with chores, or anything; it keeps me sane to be doing something. When I miss people I know who have died, I write about them, or recently built an altar to the dead with a Nicaraguan group.
Sometimes, for particularly thorny and abstract problems. ("I'm depressed all the time" or something similar), I'm driven to take really wierd symbolic actions.
-If things in your head ever surprise you, how do you handle it?
There's usually a few days or weeks of denial. "I SHOULD feel this other way! ACK!" Followed by eventually giving in to the inevitable. I wish I were more graceful about it.
-Do you feel like you know yourself very well?
For the most part, yeah. But I'm a pretty simple creature. Four or five basic principles that interact in odd ways.
-Do you feel like it's important to check in with the stuff in your head regularly, or are you confident that you will know about changes in your head when they happen?
I'm honestly not sure what's mean by "checking in" with one's head. I live here.
-Do you feel the need to share changes in your head with other people? If so, who (names not needed; their relationships to you would probably be useful), and why? If not, and if you can explain it, why not?
Need to? Not really. Information is not an obligation. I often do as a courtesy, or because I want someone to bounce ideas off of.
no subject
Date: 2004-10-29 03:41 pm (UTC)Interesting! I tend to lean more towards not doing enough physical stuff when needed, so I think I may be on the opposite end of the spectrum. I often don't understand the need for symbolic action...
Information is not an obligation.
For me, it's not an obligation, but it's almost an obsessive-strength need for me to a) have people to talk to about things, b) tell people that would be affected by changes in my head, c) talk to the people I'm close to about stuff in my head.
It almost physically _hurts_ me (and certainly mentally/emotionally hurts me) to not be able to talk about things with _someone_. Thus the use of the word 'need'.