[cities & me]

[wispfox]

So, I'm attempting to explain why cities scare me as much as they do (and they do! Boston used to scare me. Now, I just mostly avoid driving in it and I'm fine), and thought it needed a wider audience than in the comment I made.

A major portion of my fear of cities is that they are so overwhelming that I cannot process well enough to figure out how to get where I want to go - no matter _how_ simple the instructions are. Combine with this my complete lack of direction sense, and the fact that I need at least 3 times navigating something, within a fairly small amount of time, before I have any hope of being able to repeat it again myself (detailed written instructions help), and I've got a pretty major handicap in larger cities. Smaller ones simply have fewer options, so are less overwhelming.

I can - now - generally manage to figure out unfamiliar public transportation, with a _lot_ of advance research, to the point where I know exactly where I need to go and all the steps to get there, before I have to do it. I cannot navigate things on the fly unless I'm already familiar enough with most of the necessary steps, or I have insanely detailed instructions. Public transportation (with the notable exception of busses in a city, which tend to have far more available options) tends to have a fairly limited selection of where it goes, and a fair number of the online sites for these places will tell you how to get from point A to point B. This makes it _much_ more managable for me than driving (or walking!) in a strange city.

I know that I'm bad at this kind of thing, which means that trying to do it _scares_ me. I'm more willing now to _try_, at least, but it's still terrifying. And I think that the amount of time that I spend in Greater Boston is _why_ I'm more willing to try. I've gotten used to it, once, with lots of help.

I doubt I'll ever _like_ a large city, but I can get better at navigating with sufficient help, time, and patience.

[edit: I have found, living near Boston, that I like being _near_ cities, because they give me lots of things I can do, at the same time as having a reasonable distance to and amount of natural settings. I did _not_ enjoy growing up in a place with nothing interesting (to me) to do...]

Comments

[phaedra-lari.livejournal.com]

Someone once told me that the best way to grow to know and love a city is to get lost in it, over and over.

[bridgetester.livejournal.com]

That's true of most things. The only way to really learn is to make a lot of mistakes...

[phaedra-lari.livejournal.com]

And sometimes wandering about at random can yield serendipities that a directed journey never could :)

[bridgetester.livejournal.com]

Indeeed. I have to be in the right mood though, which typically involves being NOTLATE.

[phaedra-lari.livejournal.com]

LOL... yeah, I'm right with you there :)

[bridgetester.livejournal.com]

*sigh* I so need a teleporter. Or a teleportation machine.

But that way, I'd also miss a lot of gorgeous days and neat people.

[bridgetester.livejournal.com]

and good weather to wander around in.

[phaedra-lari.livejournal.com]

That too. Though my definition of good weather can be pretty broad... while sunny days fill me with delight, there's also something to be said for wandering about in light drizzle or under gray skies, and finding random coffeehouse or art galleries in which to burrow for a bit and re-emerge :)

This is all reminding me that I am well overdue for an extended urban wander! this weekend shall be spent in quiet-ish things like doing my laundry and making my cold go away, but soon soon soon I must find a neighborhood in Seattle to wander about in, and maybe get lost.

I really want to get a digital camera in the near future, and spend some weekends wandering about in an industrial area, taking pictures of stained and rusted things :)

[bridgetester.livejournal.com]

I'm not a big fan of I detest cold rain. I rather like warm rain, but I'm typically carrying paper objects.

Whee wander!

*nods* I should pick up a digital camera, but then I think I might get too caught up in it. Plus there's a benefit to appreciating the view rather than focusing on "getting the best picture for the future".

Have you seen urban_decay?

Urban decay

[phaedra-lari.livejournal.com]

had not seen it... very very cool...

[wispfox.livejournal.com]

Yes. Indeed. Having time helps with this. :)

[wispfox.livejournal.com]

True. Which is why I like to wander in cities, with maps. I can get 'lost' in that I've never been a place before, but worst case I can take out my map and get _un_lost.

I've found nifty things that way. Like, while trying to follow my map to find a place to swim - I failed at the finding a decent place to swim (although I found a crappy one), but I found a nifty place to walk around in.

[bridgetester.livejournal.com]

*nods* Maps are good, although some of the best places aren't on them. :)

[wispfox.livejournal.com]

wandering doesn't entail maps. Getting un-lost entails maps.

[bridgetester.livejournal.com]

All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
A light from the shadows shall spring;
Renewed shall be blade that was broken,
The crownless again shall be king.

[wispfox.livejournal.com]

Not all those who wander are lost;

I know. :)

But if I wander, I'm almost certain to _get_ lost. Thus, maps.

(yay, quotes!)

[bridgetester.livejournal.com]

Well, they had an idea of where they were going, remember? And native guides, at points. :)

(Yayer, quotes!)

[wispfox.livejournal.com]

mmm...

but getting lost terrifies me, at least if I'm alone. And I'm much better than I used to be!

That said, I do like _wandering_ in a city, if I have time, and a known starting location. And maps. Lots and lots of maps.

[phaedra-lari.livejournal.com]

Getting lost can be terrifying, but it's like a lot of other fears... sometimes the fear is a warning you should listen to, sometimes it's an irrational emotion but intense and lasting enough that you should cater to it, and sometimes if you get to a place beyond the fear you find out the fear wasn't nearly as big of a deal as you thought and might hide something intensely wondrous.

Getting lost is usually the latter for me, but that's a mileage varying kind of thing :) Because of course, the key is telling which fears are which sort(with way different answers for everyone of course), and hindsight's always 20/20 there it sometimes seems.

[wispfox.livejournal.com]

Thus far, getting lost (for me) has tended to be a rational enough fear _if I have no maps_ and I'm walking alone, because one of the hallmarks of me being lost enough to be scared is that my brain stops working. I don't think to, for example, _ask_ someone for help. (I'm decent about this while driving; I'm not sure why)

If I have maps of the places I am in, and there are street signs, the fear is _there_, but not disabling. And I can work through it well enough.

I _know_ part of it is simply that I got lost _so_ often as a child. It's a bit of leftover reaction, at least to some extent, because I _am_ much better about getting lost than I used to be.

[regyt.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure about other cities, but it is practically impossible to get lost in NYC. I know, I've tried. (I have no fear whatsoever of getting lost anywhere, and a ton of curiosity.) Because no matter which way you turn, you'll come across a subway station pretty soon, and once you're there there are maps on the wall and you can always find your way home (read: wherever you're staying).

[wispfox.livejournal.com]

no matter which way you turn, you'll come across a subway station pretty soon, and once you're there there are maps on the wall

What kind of maps? Local area? Entire city? Subway maps?

Because if they are only of the local area, and I've somehow managed to get myself far enough away from the place I'm staying, that won't help me. :)

I'm also terrible at remembering directions, which may be my trouble mentioned above with getting lost alone, while walking - I may not have anything to write directions down in.

But, noted.

[regyt.livejournal.com]

Local area maps and entire city subway maps. All you need to do is remember the subway stop closest to wherever you're staying. The map you'll find in every subway station will do the rest, and you'll bump into subway stations everywhere.

[wispfox.livejournal.com]

Huh! Ok. Noted, and nifty. :)

[wispfox.livejournal.com]

Of course, I would first need to have seen enough subway stations in NYC to recognize them, or I won't see them if I'm lost and unhappy about it.

[phaedra-lari.livejournal.com]

I think NYC and Kyoto are the cities I credit with giving me a sense of direction. In addition to all the great points regyt makes, many parts of NYC are also on a grid system with numbered avenues and streets, which makes it easier to figure out where you are once you only know a very little about it. Plus many of the tall buildings are great landmarks.

Kyoto is largely shaped like a wheel, with spokes radiating outward from the center. What was nifty for getting oriented was that many street corners seemed to feature a metal compass embedded in the cement. This allowed me to always figure out which was north when I was bewildered, which helped enormously. Weirdly enough, my Wicca 101 studies helped me a lot too, because they made me figure out which way was north, south, east and west a lot by way of trying to cast circles in parks I didn't know :) Somehow that translated eventually into overall better sense of which way was north, most of the time, which does help.

[bridgetester.livejournal.com]

I have a reasonably decent direction sense for when I know where I am. Randomly big buildings with turns can confuse me. But other people can't even point out directions when they know which building they're in, and which way it faces... Weird to me.

Unfamiliar places still cause big problems though.

I grew up primarily in a spoked city, but there were no handydandy metal compasses to be had.

[wispfox.livejournal.com]

If I know which way a building faces, I _might_ - maybe - be able to figure out where I am respective to that, and therefore which direction is which.

But not regularly.

[bridgetester.livejournal.com]

I like being _near_ cities, because they give me lots of things I can do, at the same time as having a reasonable distance to and amount of natural settings.

*nodnod*

I also like small towns with colleges/universities, but that's when I'm attending college and there's 8 bazillion things to do.

[wispfox.livejournal.com]

Yes. College/university towns make me happy. Boston is a multi-school town. :)

[bridgetester.livejournal.com]

Boston is too big for a "town", in my mind.
But paultopia thinks the only cities are large things like DC, NYC, and LA.

[phaedra-lari.livejournal.com]

That's where I like to use the word metropolis!

NYC isn't a city IMO, it's a whole universe of its own :)

[bridgetester.livejournal.com]

Oh, I agree about NYC being a metropolis. He just substitutes city where I say metropolis.

[wispfox.livejournal.com]

Boston itself is _small_. It just ate other places nearby. ;)

I don't know why I call it a town, though... perhaps because it no longer scares me?

[bridgetester.livejournal.com]

Cannibal city! *runs away*

[wispfox.livejournal.com]

Yes. Cities are hungry. They eat nearby cities. And people. But the people seem to not mind, for some reason!

[bridgetester.livejournal.com]

It's scary. ^_^

Buildings looming over you and all. ;)

I'm just used to smaller scale things, and more greenspace, and the like.

[wispfox.livejournal.com]

'you all'? I'm not living in Boston! Just near it. :)

I'm just used to smaller scale things, and more greenspace, and the like.

Yep. Ditto. Adjusting to living near and visiting Boston was interesting.

[bridgetester.livejournal.com]

City life is just so squished. Now neighborhoods can be fine, but I'm thinking of the downtown skyscraper apartment areas... And the traffic, let alone the parking, is horrific.

Whoa..

[heinleinfan.livejournal.com]

I could have posted this!

I grew up in Crystal Springs, MS. When we moved there I was 3. There was one red light in the town. Literally, people would give directions according to that one red light. There was one big church in town, the mayor walked his dog around and mowed his own lawn, there were 6 cops. The high school I graduated from in the next town over (because we lived in the country and had moved to a place right over the county line), a public highschool mind you, had 57 graduating seniors.

Big cities are scary!!!!


I've been commuting this week by subway (and twice by commuter rail/subway combos) and I'm so proud of myself for managing to not get on the wrong train yet!

As my mom said "You're like a real, big city commuter now, like in the movies!"

[wispfox.livejournal.com]

I will post things from other people's minds! La!

I actually didn't grow up in _that_ small a town (as compared to your example, at least), but I got lost so often and easily than I pretty much didn't go anywhere by myself while there. This makes it difficult to get used to navigating. I refused to learn to drive until I was 21 because it _terrified_ me, but it has improved my independance and my ability to navigate (not to an amazing extent, but at least now I _can_ do so without immense ammounts of terror).

Yes. Big cities are scary.

Commuter rail is more annoying to get on the wrong train. I have not yet, but the fact that it runs _so_ much less often makes such a bigger problem. I also tend to avoid commuter rail, since I have a car, and it takes a _lot_ longer, and tends to not run when I would want to use it.

[bridgetester.livejournal.com]

I will post things from other people's minds! La!

You? Never! *snerk*

[wispfox.livejournal.com]

*adores in your general direction*

[bridgetester.livejournal.com]

*preens cutely*

(http://www.chris-franklin.co.uk/news/march_03/16_march/comic.jpg)

[wispfox.livejournal.com]

*blinks*

You find the _strangest_ things, you know that?

[bridgetester.livejournal.com]

Well, if I pointed out the normal ones, they'd be a lot less interesting most of the time. ;)