I think being poly totally messes with my perception of "dates". Being interested in someone and pursuing it for me eventually involves juggling schedules with two SOs, making sure my two SOs are comfortable with the person[1], and if interest in anything sexual comes up, following a very carefully worded set of safety guidelines which might take up to six months to comply with.
If I wind up in a situation where someone is or might be interested in me, I generally try to work in all that information as early as I can without seeming presumptuous, but it's hard. I make it worse by becoming attracted to people easily, and I have a bad habit of being attracted to people who like me back.
Consequently, I absolutely love the idea of being able to go out on a "date" with someone where they already know how my life is set up, where we could just go out to dinner and talk. It wouldn't matter how attracted we were to each other because we would have already agreed to just go home at the end and say "thank you for a lovely evening", and there would be _no chaos or confusion_. I don't think this idea of a "date" has anything to do with the monogamous world's.
[1] I try to make this easier by giving my SOs a list of people I "would hit on if I had the opportunity and thought it would get me anywhere." This sometimes helps a little, sometimes fails to help, and sometimes just gives people things to tease me about. :)
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Date: 2004-06-19 12:50 am (UTC)If I wind up in a situation where someone is or might be interested in me, I generally try to work in all that information as early as I can without seeming presumptuous, but it's hard. I make it worse by becoming attracted to people easily, and I have a bad habit of being attracted to people who like me back.
Consequently, I absolutely love the idea of being able to go out on a "date" with someone where they already know how my life is set up, where we could just go out to dinner and talk. It wouldn't matter how attracted we were to each other because we would have already agreed to just go home at the end and say "thank you for a lovely evening", and there would be _no chaos or confusion_. I don't think this idea of a "date" has anything to do with the monogamous world's.
[1] I try to make this easier by giving my SOs a list of people I "would hit on if I had the opportunity and thought it would get me anywhere." This sometimes helps a little, sometimes fails to help, and sometimes just gives people things to tease me about. :)