[yet more con]

Yes, I _am_ completely oblivious when I haven't been awake very long. I now have conclusive evidence, even! So - if you think you want me to notice you when I appear to not be entirely awake, you _will_ have to say something. And I probably won't be coherent yet, either.

I also seem to never remember that panels at most cons are _not_ interactive, unlike at altpolycons. This does rather make most panels far less entertaining to me, and far more difficult to stay awake during.

I did, however, thoroughly enjoy both a 'numinous in Science Fiction' and a 'Brain, universe, consciousness, free will' panel yesterday. And today, I get to do coffee with Larry Niven and some other people. Nifty! Now, I must go attempt the dealer's room again and hopefully not be completely overwhelmed like yesterday. :)

[yet more con]

Yes, I _am_ completely oblivious when I haven't been awake very long. I now have conclusive evidence, even! So - if you think you want me to notice you when I appear to not be entirely awake, you _will_ have to say something. And I probably won't be coherent yet, either.

I also seem to never remember that panels at most cons are _not_ interactive, unlike at altpolycons. This does rather make most panels far less entertaining to me, and far more difficult to stay awake during.

I did, however, thoroughly enjoy both a 'numinous in Science Fiction' and a 'Brain, universe, consciousness, free will' panel yesterday. And today, I get to do coffee with Larry Niven and some other people. Nifty! Now, I must go attempt the dealer's room again and hopefully not be completely overwhelmed like yesterday. :)

[yet more con]

This has been _such_ an interesting morning, FSVO interesting.

It's bad when I'm not awake enough to have a conversation, because it means I'm not terribly verbal. It's worse when there's huge amounts of negative emotion being sent at me, because it means that my ability to process words - both coming in and going out - is compromised by that, as well. And it also means I have _no_ memory of what was said to me or what I said (ok, beyond that I don't think I said anything I've not already said many, many times, because my ability to get new things into words was completely nonexistant). Lots of emotional memory, though. *sigh* Definately one of those times that I wish I didn't know for absolute certain that following my instincts of 'run away!' was probably the worst possible course of action (so I didn't).

Would have been a good day to stay in bed an hour later, I think. Of course, I had already stayed in bed about 3 hours after I was awake, so I'm not sure I _could_ have. Ah, well. At least there was probably a release of built up emotion on the other person's part.

And I've stopped shaking.

Now, I go to a panel! La!

(and try to not be too amused by people's reactions to the kitty slippers I'm wearing. ;)

[yet more con]

This has been _such_ an interesting morning, FSVO interesting.

It's bad when I'm not awake enough to have a conversation, because it means I'm not terribly verbal. It's worse when there's huge amounts of negative emotion being sent at me, because it means that my ability to process words - both coming in and going out - is compromised by that, as well. And it also means I have _no_ memory of what was said to me or what I said (ok, beyond that I don't think I said anything I've not already said many, many times, because my ability to get new things into words was completely nonexistant). Lots of emotional memory, though. *sigh* Definately one of those times that I wish I didn't know for absolute certain that following my instincts of 'run away!' was probably the worst possible course of action (so I didn't).

Would have been a good day to stay in bed an hour later, I think. Of course, I had already stayed in bed about 3 hours after I was awake, so I'm not sure I _could_ have. Ah, well. At least there was probably a release of built up emotion on the other person's part.

And I've stopped shaking.

Now, I go to a panel! La!

(and try to not be too amused by people's reactions to the kitty slippers I'm wearing. ;)

[brains]

(why is it that I always want to write 'braaaaaains' for this type of topic, even when I don't want to eat anyone's brain?)

I'm intrigued to notice that, after the stress of an unpleasant conversation wears off, I determine that I _do_ manage to retain small bits of what was said. Still only small bits, but apparently some things do manage to get through (and I suspect those are the only time my replies actually make any sense to whomever I'm talking to. Although, I suppose that it may not be obvious from the outside that I'm not really processing well...). Of course, I have no idea if it happens to be the bits and pieces which I would have labeled as of the highest import, but I suppose it's better than nothing.

And I do also wonder if the reason I have always had trouble getting content out of highly emotionally charged interaction is not only about the fact that I form fewer memories in such a situation, but because to get _at_ memories, I tend to have to relive (to some degree, at least) experiences. And if a conversation was difficult, I don't _want_ to. I don't want to have to live through emotional barrage in the hopes of finding more of the hopefully existing and recordered content. Especially when it's not certain that it _was_ recorded.

Now, I go read and nap for a bit!

[brains]

(why is it that I always want to write 'braaaaaains' for this type of topic, even when I don't want to eat anyone's brain?)

I'm intrigued to notice that, after the stress of an unpleasant conversation wears off, I determine that I _do_ manage to retain small bits of what was said. Still only small bits, but apparently some things do manage to get through (and I suspect those are the only time my replies actually make any sense to whomever I'm talking to. Although, I suppose that it may not be obvious from the outside that I'm not really processing well...). Of course, I have no idea if it happens to be the bits and pieces which I would have labeled as of the highest import, but I suppose it's better than nothing.

And I do also wonder if the reason I have always had trouble getting content out of highly emotionally charged interaction is not only about the fact that I form fewer memories in such a situation, but because to get _at_ memories, I tend to have to relive (to some degree, at least) experiences. And if a conversation was difficult, I don't _want_ to. I don't want to have to live through emotional barrage in the hopes of finding more of the hopefully existing and recordered content. Especially when it's not certain that it _was_ recorded.

Now, I go read and nap for a bit!