Especially when I'm talking to
aelisdeliria!
So, I was commenting on my (mostly) lack of schmoop, and her reply was something along the lines of that it mostly doesn't happen, but every so often I get really gleeful.
My reply was something along the lines of my belief that I have long-time habit of not letting it out of my head most of the time, so as to not irritate the people around me. When I do, it's a conscious thing, and generally means I've decided the person I'm being schmoopy around actually derives joy from my joy. And even then, it's fairly rare. It's pretty much foreign to me now to contemplate the idea of burbling at people _without_ thinking about it first. I wonder if this has anything to do with my uncertainty about generally having (much) NRE?
Or... maybe... it might fall under my difficulty with letting out expressions of strong emotion. *contemplates* Y'know, it really _might_! What an odd thought... Look! I am highly controlled over positive strong emotion, _toooo_! And I didn't know it! But this is _entirely_ about not wanting to irritate the hell out of everyone else, and _not_ about vulnerability. Interesting.
(Of course, I also had to talk about freeing the thoughts that I share when I'm being schmoopy, in a literal way, where they start dancing and playing because they are _freeeeee_! But then, that's just how my head works. ;)