(no subject)

My gods, starandrea is doing an excellent job of reminding me why I adore her (and I get to see her in a few weeks!). Her notice page today is wonderful.


In an unrelated topic, my cat was feeling especially needy last night - he woke me up at least 4 times during the night because I was supposed to be petting him _now_, dammit! Poor lonely kitty. Not sure what was up, although it's possible he was waking me up because my dreams were going bad - the overall sense I have of my dreams last night was discomfort. So that's a possibility, too.


I want June to be over. Work this month is a pain, since I have added responsibilities this month that I don't normally have. Ah, well. Soon enough, I guess.

(no subject)

My gods, starandrea is doing an excellent job of reminding me why I adore her (and I get to see her in a few weeks!). Her notice page today is wonderful.


In an unrelated topic, my cat was feeling especially needy last night - he woke me up at least 4 times during the night because I was supposed to be petting him _now_, dammit! Poor lonely kitty. Not sure what was up, although it's possible he was waking me up because my dreams were going bad - the overall sense I have of my dreams last night was discomfort. So that's a possibility, too.


I want June to be over. Work this month is a pain, since I have added responsibilities this month that I don't normally have. Ah, well. Soon enough, I guess.

Klutzy!

Why, yes, I _am_ a klutz! May have something to do with not having the world's best attachment to my physical self. Being tired makes it worse, too.

I regularly walk into things, knock things over (although I often catch them), elbow people, and forget how to move to have specific things (like standing up, or getting out of bed - I have to wake up enough to not cause major damage if I'm sharing a bed and _not_ on the outside edge) happen.

Sharing a small space with me is dangerous, especially when I'm tired, because you might get elbowed, kicked, kneed, or bonked in the head with my head. Some of this, I even do while I'm sleeping (I'm actually impressed my cat _ever_ sleeps with me, and that I've ever been able to sleep with people every night - although regularly sleeping with someone does make it much easier for me to sleep, and therefore reduces my danger level).

Seriously. I'm a huge klutz; I just have enough awareness of it that most of the time it's not immediately obvious. But it does mean that, for example, I bonk my head on things _often_ - and while everyone nearby winces, I may not even notice. I find random unexpected bruises (mostly on my legs) all the time, from walking into things.

*shakes head*

This post brought to you by flying water bottles, sent flying off my desk by my elbow.

Klutzy!

Why, yes, I _am_ a klutz! May have something to do with not having the world's best attachment to my physical self. Being tired makes it worse, too.

I regularly walk into things, knock things over (although I often catch them), elbow people, and forget how to move to have specific things (like standing up, or getting out of bed - I have to wake up enough to not cause major damage if I'm sharing a bed and _not_ on the outside edge) happen.

Sharing a small space with me is dangerous, especially when I'm tired, because you might get elbowed, kicked, kneed, or bonked in the head with my head. Some of this, I even do while I'm sleeping (I'm actually impressed my cat _ever_ sleeps with me, and that I've ever been able to sleep with people every night - although regularly sleeping with someone does make it much easier for me to sleep, and therefore reduces my danger level).

Seriously. I'm a huge klutz; I just have enough awareness of it that most of the time it's not immediately obvious. But it does mean that, for example, I bonk my head on things _often_ - and while everyone nearby winces, I may not even notice. I find random unexpected bruises (mostly on my legs) all the time, from walking into things.

*shakes head*

This post brought to you by flying water bottles, sent flying off my desk by my elbow.

(no subject)

The bits of my hair which were purple are now tending toward fucia. I'm not sure how I feel about this. Pink is really not my color... at least it's not _light_ or flourescent pink!

But! It's sunny out, and theoretically I have time for a walk today! Yay, walk!


"Every home is a monastery. There, it is to be hoped, we can find solitude, community, beauty, nature, oratory, and food. There, the spirit can be nurished, and the body pleased with arts and pleasures." -Thomas Moore


Yeah, that sounds like a home to me! Now if only I actually had all of those at home (most of them, I have). :)

(no subject)

The bits of my hair which were purple are now tending toward fucia. I'm not sure how I feel about this. Pink is really not my color... at least it's not _light_ or flourescent pink!

But! It's sunny out, and theoretically I have time for a walk today! Yay, walk!


"Every home is a monastery. There, it is to be hoped, we can find solitude, community, beauty, nature, oratory, and food. There, the spirit can be nurished, and the body pleased with arts and pleasures." -Thomas Moore


Yeah, that sounds like a home to me! Now if only I actually had all of those at home (most of them, I have). :)

Vague unease

It's _weird_ having vague unease all day so far. All I can guess is that my cat didn't quite wake me up quick enough from some of the uneasy dreams all night, and they are hovering.

I can't even pinpoint _who_ the unease is about, aside from possibly family, possibly friends (possibly multiple people!). Eh, I ought to visit my dad sometime soon anyway, perhaps I'll see about trying to do lunch with him.

Vague unease

It's _weird_ having vague unease all day so far. All I can guess is that my cat didn't quite wake me up quick enough from some of the uneasy dreams all night, and they are hovering.

I can't even pinpoint _who_ the unease is about, aside from possibly family, possibly friends (possibly multiple people!). Eh, I ought to visit my dad sometime soon anyway, perhaps I'll see about trying to do lunch with him.

(no subject)

Lunch with my dad, yay! It's been a while. I'm not sure that I've had lunch with him since being in Westford more than a couple times.

The weather today reminded me that it's not much before the date I got laid off last year, because my official end date was July 4th, and then I got to play a bit during summer. Must remember to go to the beach this summer, even if it _will_ be on a weekend when everyone else is there. Probably, the one I went to (salisbury?) last year won't be too crowded.

It's _nice_ out today. I'm pleased. And I'm randomly being all nervous/excited about australian_joe being here, quite probably because actually sharing what I've got for plans during that time makes things quite a bit more immediate. Less than a week!

OK, back to work. Walk, later.

(no subject)

Lunch with my dad, yay! It's been a while. I'm not sure that I've had lunch with him since being in Westford more than a couple times.

The weather today reminded me that it's not much before the date I got laid off last year, because my official end date was July 4th, and then I got to play a bit during summer. Must remember to go to the beach this summer, even if it _will_ be on a weekend when everyone else is there. Probably, the one I went to (salisbury?) last year won't be too crowded.

It's _nice_ out today. I'm pleased. And I'm randomly being all nervous/excited about australian_joe being here, quite probably because actually sharing what I've got for plans during that time makes things quite a bit more immediate. Less than a week!

OK, back to work. Walk, later.

(no subject)

Some lyrics which were begging me to post them while driving to lunch with my dad:

( Peter Mayer, Awake )

(no subject)

Some lyrics which were begging me to post them while driving to lunch with my dad:

( Peter Mayer, Awake )

(no subject)

Oooh! Oooh! So far, there have been _two_ former co-workers from my last job interviewing here (one of whom is here today). Of course, one of them would be going to the main headquarters if he signs on, but hey! Yay, dragging nifty co-workers along with me (albeit a bit delayed)!


I'm also very pleased by anklesnake's post about overcoming one's biological programming. Tasty brains...

(no subject)

Oooh! Oooh! So far, there have been _two_ former co-workers from my last job interviewing here (one of whom is here today). Of course, one of them would be going to the main headquarters if he signs on, but hey! Yay, dragging nifty co-workers along with me (albeit a bit delayed)!


I'm also very pleased by anklesnake's post about overcoming one's biological programming. Tasty brains...

(no subject)

Wee! Posting about being quotes-obsessed has given me all _sorts_ of quotes to play with, thanks to other people _also_ being quotes-obsessed! *pleased*

( Some quotes I especially liked, in random brief skimming )

(no subject)

Wee! Posting about being quotes-obsessed has given me all _sorts_ of quotes to play with, thanks to other people _also_ being quotes-obsessed! *pleased*

( Some quotes I especially liked, in random brief skimming )

(no subject)

Death! Death by cute and gigglefits! (follow the shiny link she has! It's shiny! And induces gigglefits!)


Also! Quote from a post by wolfieboy!

The way of love is not a subtle argument. The door there is devastation. Birds make great sky-circles of their freedom. How do they learn it? They fall, and falling, they're given wings.
— Rumi


(and some birds? Some birds _tease_ me with their joy at flying and swooping and catching very small bugs. OK, well, the very small bugs part isn't really a tasty thought. But the swooping! And the flying!)

(no subject)

Death! Death by cute and gigglefits! (follow the shiny link she has! It's shiny! And induces gigglefits!)


Also! Quote from a post by wolfieboy!

The way of love is not a subtle argument. The door there is devastation. Birds make great sky-circles of their freedom. How do they learn it? They fall, and falling, they're given wings.
— Rumi


(and some birds? Some birds _tease_ me with their joy at flying and swooping and catching very small bugs. OK, well, the very small bugs part isn't really a tasty thought. But the swooping! And the flying!)

(no subject)

Huh.

Methinks I'm really, really lucky that I knew a _lot_ of the people in this office, both in my group and that I'd be working with, when I applied here. I didn't have to go through our normal (but fairly recently implemented) interview process, which seems to be brutal, and which I'm not sure I'd have made it through. Neither of my two former co-workers made it through.

I do seem to have the best luck when it comes to getting jobs post-graduation, so far. (well, aside from the previous two having gone out of business)

Crazy.

(no subject)

Huh.

Methinks I'm really, really lucky that I knew a _lot_ of the people in this office, both in my group and that I'd be working with, when I applied here. I didn't have to go through our normal (but fairly recently implemented) interview process, which seems to be brutal, and which I'm not sure I'd have made it through. Neither of my two former co-workers made it through.

I do seem to have the best luck when it comes to getting jobs post-graduation, so far. (well, aside from the previous two having gone out of business)

Crazy.

Surreality, unknown owner of a phrase in my head

So! Diesel was entirely too crowded, and aelisdeliria escaped after less than an hour. Too loud, too many people. Was good to see those people I _did_ interact with, though. Must go about being a bit more one-on-one social with people, I think.

On the way back was the most surreal experience driving home has ever been. aelisdeliria happened to mention that the person driving next to us (who ended up being behind us when I tried to find him) had a fairly large, realistic dildo, in his hand. I was thoroughly amused, and pulled over to the right in order to let him pass, so I could look, exclaiming as I did this "Hey! I want to see your dildo!" (not that anyone else could hear me, being on the highway and all).

Indeed, as mentioned, the driver was in fact holding a fairly large and realistic-looking dildo, which made me laugh for a while. Then, however, after I moved back over to the left, he went to the right lane, next to us, and proceeded to pace us, alternating driving normally (as normally as one can with a dildo in one's hand!), going down on his dildo, and sucking on the balls. Talk about a surreal, and amusing, experience! Quite entertaining, and I think he kept it up until he had to get off the highway, because he vanished at some point.

Dude. I'm so pleased by the increase in the surreality quotient of my day!


And, on a _completely_ unrelated note, I noticed earlier today that I have a piece of phrasing in my head which is not my own, and I don't know whose it _is_. I call everything thingy, especially in spoken conversation. But, as of this afternoon, I noticed that after a fair number (not all, but I couldn't determine the pattern) of the times I'd say 'thingy', the next thought I had would be 'it's a fiendish thingy!'. But I don't know whose phrasing that is, although I'm sure it must be someone I know in-person. And probably fairly well, since I don't pick up people's phrases without a fair amount of in-person interactions. 'Tis a bit strange to have phrasing I know are not mine wandering around in my head, and not be able to place where they came from!

*shakes head* Why yes, the internal landscape of my brain _is_ a strange and crazy place. ;)

Surreality, unknown owner of a phrase in my head

So! Diesel was entirely too crowded, and aelisdeliria escaped after less than an hour. Too loud, too many people. Was good to see those people I _did_ interact with, though. Must go about being a bit more one-on-one social with people, I think.

On the way back was the most surreal experience driving home has ever been. aelisdeliria happened to mention that the person driving next to us (who ended up being behind us when I tried to find him) had a fairly large, realistic dildo, in his hand. I was thoroughly amused, and pulled over to the right in order to let him pass, so I could look, exclaiming as I did this "Hey! I want to see your dildo!" (not that anyone else could hear me, being on the highway and all).

Indeed, as mentioned, the driver was in fact holding a fairly large and realistic-looking dildo, which made me laugh for a while. Then, however, after I moved back over to the left, he went to the right lane, next to us, and proceeded to pace us, alternating driving normally (as normally as one can with a dildo in one's hand!), going down on his dildo, and sucking on the balls. Talk about a surreal, and amusing, experience! Quite entertaining, and I think he kept it up until he had to get off the highway, because he vanished at some point.

Dude. I'm so pleased by the increase in the surreality quotient of my day!


And, on a _completely_ unrelated note, I noticed earlier today that I have a piece of phrasing in my head which is not my own, and I don't know whose it _is_. I call everything thingy, especially in spoken conversation. But, as of this afternoon, I noticed that after a fair number (not all, but I couldn't determine the pattern) of the times I'd say 'thingy', the next thought I had would be 'it's a fiendish thingy!'. But I don't know whose phrasing that is, although I'm sure it must be someone I know in-person. And probably fairly well, since I don't pick up people's phrases without a fair amount of in-person interactions. 'Tis a bit strange to have phrasing I know are not mine wandering around in my head, and not be able to place where they came from!

*shakes head* Why yes, the internal landscape of my brain _is_ a strange and crazy place. ;)

(no subject)

And, in aelisdeliria's post about our ride home, best conversation, ever.

(no subject)

And, in aelisdeliria's post about our ride home, best conversation, ever.

(no subject)

"I can't leave because I don't know what he/she'd do without me."

This is, by far, one of the most insidious things I've ever run into. And, mind you, I've fallen prey to it before - but, I vowed once I left, never again.

The thing that confuses me right now is this: How does this make any sense? They must have gotten along reasonably well without you, before you were in their life, or they'd not be around for you to get involved with. No?

And, if they are physically unable to take care of themselves, is that really your responsibility? Especially if they are using their helplessness as a weapon (which is what the whole "I can't leave because I don't know what he/she'd do without me" is all _about_). Did you really volunteer for this? Unless someone is your child, and perhaps not even then if they are old enough to take care of themselves, there is nothing that says you _have_ to take care of them. Especially at the cost of yourself. I _know_ I sound heartless and cruel, but the problem is, this whole concept only works because people can be guilted into things.

Do things because you _want_ to, not because someone else wants you to (these don't have to be mutually exclusive! Sometimes I will want to do something because it'll make someone else happy - but that's different than a case where the _only_ reason is because they want you to). I don't care _what_ you (generic - all 'you' in here is generic) do if you choose it. But don't do things because you feel like you must. That is not a good reason, except in a case where it leads toward a goal of yours - in which case, again, you _have_ chosen it.

*shakes head* OK, I'm not sure how much sense I'm making, since I was in the middle of bills when this thought hijacked my brain. Irritating hijacking thoughts...

(no subject)

"I can't leave because I don't know what he/she'd do without me."

This is, by far, one of the most insidious things I've ever run into. And, mind you, I've fallen prey to it before - but, I vowed once I left, never again.

The thing that confuses me right now is this: How does this make any sense? They must have gotten along reasonably well without you, before you were in their life, or they'd not be around for you to get involved with. No?

And, if they are physically unable to take care of themselves, is that really your responsibility? Especially if they are using their helplessness as a weapon (which is what the whole "I can't leave because I don't know what he/she'd do without me" is all _about_). Did you really volunteer for this? Unless someone is your child, and perhaps not even then if they are old enough to take care of themselves, there is nothing that says you _have_ to take care of them. Especially at the cost of yourself. I _know_ I sound heartless and cruel, but the problem is, this whole concept only works because people can be guilted into things.

Do things because you _want_ to, not because someone else wants you to (these don't have to be mutually exclusive! Sometimes I will want to do something because it'll make someone else happy - but that's different than a case where the _only_ reason is because they want you to). I don't care _what_ you (generic - all 'you' in here is generic) do if you choose it. But don't do things because you feel like you must. That is not a good reason, except in a case where it leads toward a goal of yours - in which case, again, you _have_ chosen it.

*shakes head* OK, I'm not sure how much sense I'm making, since I was in the middle of bills when this thought hijacked my brain. Irritating hijacking thoughts...