![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Apr. 30th, 2004
(no subject)
Apr. 30th, 2004 11:13 amI've been feeling... disconnected for a couple weeks now. Perhaps longer. Not sure what's contributing to this feeling, nor what I might be missing to reverse the problem, but it's disconcerting.
I _know_ I've probably had too much social activity without physical contact lately, due to spending both of the last two weekends around people I don't know well enough to be randomly physically affectionate with (compounded by the fact that I tend to avoid being physically affectionate with co-workers, no matter how well I know them or how comfortable I am with them, and last weekend I was around co-workers for 4 days. Something about not _really_ wanting to add to the fact that I seem to cause rumors just by existing).
I'm sure my cold hasn't helped, since it means I'm even more cautious about casual touch than normal. And it probably puts me into a strange mental state, as well.
I'm not sure of the last time I spent all that much time with people I _am_ comfortable with casual touch around - last night sorta counted, except I was meeting new people as well as seeing![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
ladytabitha briefly. The time before that must have been... a couple weeks ago now, and I was a bit off then, too. Gah.
Want my feeling of being connected with people _back_! No wonder I've been so strongly affected by meeting nifty people lately. (not that I wouldn't otherwise be strongly affected, but I seemed to have a stronger than normal desire to get to know nifty new people sooner, rather than later. AKA, impatience.)
Hopefully visitingshadesong this weekend will help with this, since she's someone I'm able to be randomly physically affectionate with. And hopefully _not_ having specific plans the following weekend will help, too - I'm sure I'm suffering from lack of sleep and lack of time alone, as well.
Not doing anything tonight, since I have to be up at 6am tomorrow, to get to Logan. Sleep, good. And poor Ash will be alone tomorrow, since I'm leaving early, andaelisdeliria isn't returning until Sunday.
[edit: I _know_ I'm having trouble reading people lately, which makes me insecure about meeting new and nifty people, which makes me less likely to reach out. Perhaps related. And perhaps why I periodically need time with people who I have a reasonably good sense of...]
I _know_ I've probably had too much social activity without physical contact lately, due to spending both of the last two weekends around people I don't know well enough to be randomly physically affectionate with (compounded by the fact that I tend to avoid being physically affectionate with co-workers, no matter how well I know them or how comfortable I am with them, and last weekend I was around co-workers for 4 days. Something about not _really_ wanting to add to the fact that I seem to cause rumors just by existing).
I'm sure my cold hasn't helped, since it means I'm even more cautious about casual touch than normal. And it probably puts me into a strange mental state, as well.
I'm not sure of the last time I spent all that much time with people I _am_ comfortable with casual touch around - last night sorta counted, except I was meeting new people as well as seeing
ladytabitha briefly. The time before that must have been... a couple weeks ago now, and I was a bit off then, too. Gah.Want my feeling of being connected with people _back_! No wonder I've been so strongly affected by meeting nifty people lately. (not that I wouldn't otherwise be strongly affected, but I seemed to have a stronger than normal desire to get to know nifty new people sooner, rather than later. AKA, impatience.)
Hopefully visiting
shadesong this weekend will help with this, since she's someone I'm able to be randomly physically affectionate with. And hopefully _not_ having specific plans the following weekend will help, too - I'm sure I'm suffering from lack of sleep and lack of time alone, as well.Not doing anything tonight, since I have to be up at 6am tomorrow, to get to Logan. Sleep, good. And poor Ash will be alone tomorrow, since I'm leaving early, and
aelisdeliria isn't returning until Sunday.[edit: I _know_ I'm having trouble reading people lately, which makes me insecure about meeting new and nifty people, which makes me less likely to reach out. Perhaps related. And perhaps why I periodically need time with people who I have a reasonably good sense of...]
(no subject)
Apr. 30th, 2004 11:13 amI've been feeling... disconnected for a couple weeks now. Perhaps longer. Not sure what's contributing to this feeling, nor what I might be missing to reverse the problem, but it's disconcerting.
I _know_ I've probably had too much social activity without physical contact lately, due to spending both of the last two weekends around people I don't know well enough to be randomly physically affectionate with (compounded by the fact that I tend to avoid being physically affectionate with co-workers, no matter how well I know them or how comfortable I am with them, and last weekend I was around co-workers for 4 days. Something about not _really_ wanting to add to the fact that I seem to cause rumors just by existing).
I'm sure my cold hasn't helped, since it means I'm even more cautious about casual touch than normal. And it probably puts me into a strange mental state, as well.
I'm not sure of the last time I spent all that much time with people I _am_ comfortable with casual touch around - last night sorta counted, except I was meeting new people as well as seeingladytabitha briefly. The time before that must have been... a couple weeks ago now, and I was a bit off then, too. Gah.
Want my feeling of being connected with people _back_! No wonder I've been so strongly affected by meeting nifty people lately. (not that I wouldn't otherwise be strongly affected, but I seemed to have a stronger than normal desire to get to know nifty new people sooner, rather than later. AKA, impatience.)
Hopefully visitingshadesong this weekend will help with this, since she's someone I'm able to be randomly physically affectionate with. And hopefully _not_ having specific plans the following weekend will help, too - I'm sure I'm suffering from lack of sleep and lack of time alone, as well.
Not doing anything tonight, since I have to be up at 6am tomorrow, to get to Logan. Sleep, good. And poor Ash will be alone tomorrow, since I'm leaving early, andaelisdeliria isn't returning until Sunday.
[edit: I _know_ I'm having trouble reading people lately, which makes me insecure about meeting new and nifty people, which makes me less likely to reach out. Perhaps related. And perhaps why I periodically need time with people who I have a reasonably good sense of...]
I _know_ I've probably had too much social activity without physical contact lately, due to spending both of the last two weekends around people I don't know well enough to be randomly physically affectionate with (compounded by the fact that I tend to avoid being physically affectionate with co-workers, no matter how well I know them or how comfortable I am with them, and last weekend I was around co-workers for 4 days. Something about not _really_ wanting to add to the fact that I seem to cause rumors just by existing).
I'm sure my cold hasn't helped, since it means I'm even more cautious about casual touch than normal. And it probably puts me into a strange mental state, as well.
I'm not sure of the last time I spent all that much time with people I _am_ comfortable with casual touch around - last night sorta counted, except I was meeting new people as well as seeing
ladytabitha briefly. The time before that must have been... a couple weeks ago now, and I was a bit off then, too. Gah.Want my feeling of being connected with people _back_! No wonder I've been so strongly affected by meeting nifty people lately. (not that I wouldn't otherwise be strongly affected, but I seemed to have a stronger than normal desire to get to know nifty new people sooner, rather than later. AKA, impatience.)
Hopefully visiting
shadesong this weekend will help with this, since she's someone I'm able to be randomly physically affectionate with. And hopefully _not_ having specific plans the following weekend will help, too - I'm sure I'm suffering from lack of sleep and lack of time alone, as well.Not doing anything tonight, since I have to be up at 6am tomorrow, to get to Logan. Sleep, good. And poor Ash will be alone tomorrow, since I'm leaving early, and
aelisdeliria isn't returning until Sunday.[edit: I _know_ I'm having trouble reading people lately, which makes me insecure about meeting new and nifty people, which makes me less likely to reach out. Perhaps related. And perhaps why I periodically need time with people who I have a reasonably good sense of...]
(no subject)
Apr. 30th, 2004 01:08 pmBits. Pieces.
There has been a stuffed snake in my car for months. The various reactions of my passengers to this fact is entertaining. Today, the snake was attempting to escape out the window, confusing people in nearby cars. *glee*
haikujaguar does Balance Card readings, and is doing this today until around 4pm, at http://www.livejournal.com/users/haikujaguar/89501.html - I found her because of shadesong.
My card reading (here) was:
"Your card for the next two weeks is the Embrace, the card of willing acceptance. Since the opposite of the Embrace is the Cell, the card of denial and repression, the Embrace asks us to look everything in the eye--even things that make us uncomfortable--and gather them into our arms."
I don't know what to do with this, as I don't think it's particularly different from what I was already doing. Hmm... well, maybe not. I've been sorta... distant lately. I doubt my feeling of disconnectedness has no internal cause. *thinks about this* Perhaps I need to stop worrying that showing interest in other people who I have trouble reading will scare them off... (since right now, I can't seem to read _anyone_)
There has been a stuffed snake in my car for months. The various reactions of my passengers to this fact is entertaining. Today, the snake was attempting to escape out the window, confusing people in nearby cars. *glee*
haikujaguar does Balance Card readings, and is doing this today until around 4pm, at http://www.livejournal.com/users/haikujaguar/89501.html - I found her because of shadesong.My card reading (here) was:
"Your card for the next two weeks is the Embrace, the card of willing acceptance. Since the opposite of the Embrace is the Cell, the card of denial and repression, the Embrace asks us to look everything in the eye--even things that make us uncomfortable--and gather them into our arms."
I don't know what to do with this, as I don't think it's particularly different from what I was already doing. Hmm... well, maybe not. I've been sorta... distant lately. I doubt my feeling of disconnectedness has no internal cause. *thinks about this* Perhaps I need to stop worrying that showing interest in other people who I have trouble reading will scare them off... (since right now, I can't seem to read _anyone_)
(no subject)
Apr. 30th, 2004 01:08 pmBits. Pieces.
There has been a stuffed snake in my car for months. The various reactions of my passengers to this fact is entertaining. Today, the snake was attempting to escape out the window, confusing people in nearby cars. *glee*
haikujaguar does Balance Card readings, and is doing this today until around 4pm, at http://www.livejournal.com/users/haikujaguar/89501.html - I found her because of shadesong.
My card reading (here) was:
"Your card for the next two weeks is the Embrace, the card of willing acceptance. Since the opposite of the Embrace is the Cell, the card of denial and repression, the Embrace asks us to look everything in the eye--even things that make us uncomfortable--and gather them into our arms."
I don't know what to do with this, as I don't think it's particularly different from what I was already doing. Hmm... well, maybe not. I've been sorta... distant lately. I doubt my feeling of disconnectedness has no internal cause. *thinks about this* Perhaps I need to stop worrying that showing interest in other people who I have trouble reading will scare them off... (since right now, I can't seem to read _anyone_)
There has been a stuffed snake in my car for months. The various reactions of my passengers to this fact is entertaining. Today, the snake was attempting to escape out the window, confusing people in nearby cars. *glee*
haikujaguar does Balance Card readings, and is doing this today until around 4pm, at http://www.livejournal.com/users/haikujaguar/89501.html - I found her because of shadesong.My card reading (here) was:
"Your card for the next two weeks is the Embrace, the card of willing acceptance. Since the opposite of the Embrace is the Cell, the card of denial and repression, the Embrace asks us to look everything in the eye--even things that make us uncomfortable--and gather them into our arms."
I don't know what to do with this, as I don't think it's particularly different from what I was already doing. Hmm... well, maybe not. I've been sorta... distant lately. I doubt my feeling of disconnectedness has no internal cause. *thinks about this* Perhaps I need to stop worrying that showing interest in other people who I have trouble reading will scare them off... (since right now, I can't seem to read _anyone_)
(no subject)
Apr. 30th, 2004 03:11 pmRandom 'how the fuck did I miss that?!' bit in my head.
All the friends of mine I have trouble reading? Sysadmins. Which is made even stranger by the fact that I've been befriending sysadmins for as long as I've had contact with any. Hell, the first person I started talking to in college was the sysadmin. It's how I learned to use UNIX, actually. (that poor man was _so_ patient with me, considering I'd never seen any *NIX before. On the plus side, neither was I particularly Windows-centric. There was such a random variety of computers in my parents' home while I was growing up!)
*shakes head* For someone who really likes being able to read people, I make no sense. Then again, if I feel comfortable talking to a person, being able to read them matters less strongly. 'Cause, dude, I can just _ask_ when uncertain.
*amused*
All the friends of mine I have trouble reading? Sysadmins. Which is made even stranger by the fact that I've been befriending sysadmins for as long as I've had contact with any. Hell, the first person I started talking to in college was the sysadmin. It's how I learned to use UNIX, actually. (that poor man was _so_ patient with me, considering I'd never seen any *NIX before. On the plus side, neither was I particularly Windows-centric. There was such a random variety of computers in my parents' home while I was growing up!)
*shakes head* For someone who really likes being able to read people, I make no sense. Then again, if I feel comfortable talking to a person, being able to read them matters less strongly. 'Cause, dude, I can just _ask_ when uncertain.
*amused*
(no subject)
Apr. 30th, 2004 03:11 pmRandom 'how the fuck did I miss that?!' bit in my head.
All the friends of mine I have trouble reading? Sysadmins. Which is made even stranger by the fact that I've been befriending sysadmins for as long as I've had contact with any. Hell, the first person I started talking to in college was the sysadmin. It's how I learned to use UNIX, actually. (that poor man was _so_ patient with me, considering I'd never seen any *NIX before. On the plus side, neither was I particularly Windows-centric. There was such a random variety of computers in my parents' home while I was growing up!)
*shakes head* For someone who really likes being able to read people, I make no sense. Then again, if I feel comfortable talking to a person, being able to read them matters less strongly. 'Cause, dude, I can just _ask_ when uncertain.
*amused*
All the friends of mine I have trouble reading? Sysadmins. Which is made even stranger by the fact that I've been befriending sysadmins for as long as I've had contact with any. Hell, the first person I started talking to in college was the sysadmin. It's how I learned to use UNIX, actually. (that poor man was _so_ patient with me, considering I'd never seen any *NIX before. On the plus side, neither was I particularly Windows-centric. There was such a random variety of computers in my parents' home while I was growing up!)
*shakes head* For someone who really likes being able to read people, I make no sense. Then again, if I feel comfortable talking to a person, being able to read them matters less strongly. 'Cause, dude, I can just _ask_ when uncertain.
*amused*
(no subject)
Apr. 30th, 2004 09:33 pmAnother ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
readers_list post; I'm linking to the original 'cause I can't figure out how to link to the repost.
Chapter Two: Living the American Dream and Other Types of Bullshit
I _really_ wish I could sleep, so I can get up at 6am tomorrow! Sheesh. Just spent stupid amounts of time with orkut, due to boredom. La la la...
Going to try eating food, and attempt sleep again. I was exhausted when I got home, and napped briefly (ok, technically, lay in bed and daydreamed), and now... now I'm awake again! Stupid, annoying brain!
readers_list post; I'm linking to the original 'cause I can't figure out how to link to the repost.Chapter Two: Living the American Dream and Other Types of Bullshit
I _really_ wish I could sleep, so I can get up at 6am tomorrow! Sheesh. Just spent stupid amounts of time with orkut, due to boredom. La la la...
Going to try eating food, and attempt sleep again. I was exhausted when I got home, and napped briefly (ok, technically, lay in bed and daydreamed), and now... now I'm awake again! Stupid, annoying brain!
(no subject)
Apr. 30th, 2004 09:33 pmAnother readers_list post; I'm linking to the original 'cause I can't figure out how to link to the repost.
Chapter Two: Living the American Dream and Other Types of Bullshit
I _really_ wish I could sleep, so I can get up at 6am tomorrow! Sheesh. Just spent stupid amounts of time with orkut, due to boredom. La la la...
Going to try eating food, and attempt sleep again. I was exhausted when I got home, and napped briefly (ok, technically, lay in bed and daydreamed), and now... now I'm awake again! Stupid, annoying brain!
readers_list post; I'm linking to the original 'cause I can't figure out how to link to the repost.Chapter Two: Living the American Dream and Other Types of Bullshit
I _really_ wish I could sleep, so I can get up at 6am tomorrow! Sheesh. Just spent stupid amounts of time with orkut, due to boredom. La la la...
Going to try eating food, and attempt sleep again. I was exhausted when I got home, and napped briefly (ok, technically, lay in bed and daydreamed), and now... now I'm awake again! Stupid, annoying brain!