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Apr. 30th, 2004 11:13 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wispfoxI've been feeling... disconnected for a couple weeks now. Perhaps longer. Not sure what's contributing to this feeling, nor what I might be missing to reverse the problem, but it's disconcerting.
I _know_ I've probably had too much social activity without physical contact lately, due to spending both of the last two weekends around people I don't know well enough to be randomly physically affectionate with (compounded by the fact that I tend to avoid being physically affectionate with co-workers, no matter how well I know them or how comfortable I am with them, and last weekend I was around co-workers for 4 days. Something about not _really_ wanting to add to the fact that I seem to cause rumors just by existing).
I'm sure my cold hasn't helped, since it means I'm even more cautious about casual touch than normal. And it probably puts me into a strange mental state, as well.
I'm not sure of the last time I spent all that much time with people I _am_ comfortable with casual touch around - last night sorta counted, except I was meeting new people as well as seeing![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
ladytabitha briefly. The time before that must have been... a couple weeks ago now, and I was a bit off then, too. Gah.
Want my feeling of being connected with people _back_! No wonder I've been so strongly affected by meeting nifty people lately. (not that I wouldn't otherwise be strongly affected, but I seemed to have a stronger than normal desire to get to know nifty new people sooner, rather than later. AKA, impatience.)
Hopefully visitingshadesong this weekend will help with this, since she's someone I'm able to be randomly physically affectionate with. And hopefully _not_ having specific plans the following weekend will help, too - I'm sure I'm suffering from lack of sleep and lack of time alone, as well.
Not doing anything tonight, since I have to be up at 6am tomorrow, to get to Logan. Sleep, good. And poor Ash will be alone tomorrow, since I'm leaving early, andaelisdeliria isn't returning until Sunday.
[edit: I _know_ I'm having trouble reading people lately, which makes me insecure about meeting new and nifty people, which makes me less likely to reach out. Perhaps related. And perhaps why I periodically need time with people who I have a reasonably good sense of...]
I _know_ I've probably had too much social activity without physical contact lately, due to spending both of the last two weekends around people I don't know well enough to be randomly physically affectionate with (compounded by the fact that I tend to avoid being physically affectionate with co-workers, no matter how well I know them or how comfortable I am with them, and last weekend I was around co-workers for 4 days. Something about not _really_ wanting to add to the fact that I seem to cause rumors just by existing).
I'm sure my cold hasn't helped, since it means I'm even more cautious about casual touch than normal. And it probably puts me into a strange mental state, as well.
I'm not sure of the last time I spent all that much time with people I _am_ comfortable with casual touch around - last night sorta counted, except I was meeting new people as well as seeing
ladytabitha briefly. The time before that must have been... a couple weeks ago now, and I was a bit off then, too. Gah.Want my feeling of being connected with people _back_! No wonder I've been so strongly affected by meeting nifty people lately. (not that I wouldn't otherwise be strongly affected, but I seemed to have a stronger than normal desire to get to know nifty new people sooner, rather than later. AKA, impatience.)
Hopefully visiting
shadesong this weekend will help with this, since she's someone I'm able to be randomly physically affectionate with. And hopefully _not_ having specific plans the following weekend will help, too - I'm sure I'm suffering from lack of sleep and lack of time alone, as well.Not doing anything tonight, since I have to be up at 6am tomorrow, to get to Logan. Sleep, good. And poor Ash will be alone tomorrow, since I'm leaving early, and
aelisdeliria isn't returning until Sunday.[edit: I _know_ I'm having trouble reading people lately, which makes me insecure about meeting new and nifty people, which makes me less likely to reach out. Perhaps related. And perhaps why I periodically need time with people who I have a reasonably good sense of...]
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no subject
Date: 2004-04-30 03:28 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-04-30 03:42 pm (UTC)Okaaaaaay...
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Date: 2004-04-30 04:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-04-30 05:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-04-30 05:19 pm (UTC)Um. Shit. Yeah. Quite...
Just so its official
Date: 2004-04-30 05:42 pm (UTC)For the record, you now officially know me well enough to be randomly physically affectionate - at least as far as my comfort level goes. Just figured I'd clear that up, in case there was any confusion on that matter. I know you were probably concerned about that, so I figured I'd just help out. >;-)
no subject
Date: 2004-04-30 05:44 pm (UTC)I actually already got that, but having trouble reading other people also means it's much more difficult for _me_ to get to that kind of comfy state with them. And I was, I think, already in the 'trouble reading people' state a couple weekends ago.
But, noted. :)
Re: disconnected
Date: 2004-04-30 05:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-05-05 08:22 pm (UTC)