(no subject)
Apr. 6th, 2004 05:58 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wispfoxFinally, I have a stronger sense of _why_ in-person is so necessary for me to cement relationships of whatever sort.
It's the difference between being told something, with words, and _knowing_ it via empathy and/or small, but meaningful actions.
People I converse with a whole bunch via text, I know. Well, assuming that what they say isn't conflicting bizarrely with itself or the sense I have of them.
People I meet in-person, but don't interact with (or have some other reason to focus entirely on them, in a socially acceptable manner), I don't remember. This means I don't remember most first meetings of people.
People I meet in-person, but have some small amounts of direct interaction with, I get a sense of. Generally enough of one to know if I want to get to know them better. Even if sometimes too late to get contact info.
People I converse with, via text or in-person, and with whom I have enough in-person time, I _know_. I don't have random stupid insecurities about stuff, or when I do, I have things to point them at to make them shut the hell up. I can handle not being able to interact with them for a while, without too many problems (well, presuming it's just a happenstance of life, and not something more... intentional). I can be patient because the various stupid fears in my life have nothing to latch onto and grow. This is true even without the ability to converse via non-in-person methods, although this lack will annoy me and start to give the fears somewhere fertile after a while.
It's the difference between being told something, with words, and _knowing_ it via empathy and/or small, but meaningful actions.
People I converse with a whole bunch via text, I know. Well, assuming that what they say isn't conflicting bizarrely with itself or the sense I have of them.
People I meet in-person, but don't interact with (or have some other reason to focus entirely on them, in a socially acceptable manner), I don't remember. This means I don't remember most first meetings of people.
People I meet in-person, but have some small amounts of direct interaction with, I get a sense of. Generally enough of one to know if I want to get to know them better. Even if sometimes too late to get contact info.
People I converse with, via text or in-person, and with whom I have enough in-person time, I _know_. I don't have random stupid insecurities about stuff, or when I do, I have things to point them at to make them shut the hell up. I can handle not being able to interact with them for a while, without too many problems (well, presuming it's just a happenstance of life, and not something more... intentional). I can be patient because the various stupid fears in my life have nothing to latch onto and grow. This is true even without the ability to converse via non-in-person methods, although this lack will annoy me and start to give the fears somewhere fertile after a while.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2004-04-07 05:45 am (UTC)"People I meet in-person, but have some small amounts of direct interaction with, I get a sense of. Generally enough of one to know if I want to get to know them better. Even if sometimes too late to get contact info."
^- This is me to a T. I'm horrible at even remembering most people's names after a first meeting, and it sometimes takes me a week to forge the mental link of "Face = Name", and by then I usually know if they're an okay person or not-okay. Drove me nuts at ex-work because of the constant in and out flow of people through our department, even more so because it was a not-okay person who had a hand in getting me fired.
I'm even worse on the Internet; I refer to more people by their chat handle than I do their real name, even if I know it. There's only a handful of people who's names I've memorized, and that's been over years (aside from those I met at a get-together last summer.)