Depression sucks

[wispfox]

I hate that it's so subtle. That i can suddenly realize that I'm wicked depressed, in large part based on noticing what assumptions I'm making.

That it's somehow entirely reasonable to think that everyone else is more interesting/important/worthwhile/successful than me and everyone obviously thinks this is true. Or to think that everyone is tolerating me and don't actually want me around.

Even knowing that depression is a lying liar that lies doesn't actually help because knowing things intellectually doesn't shut it up.

I think this is why cuddling helps. It's really difficult to believe the lies when being held or otherwise in affectionate contact. I think it's also part of why people coming to me in winter is helpful (harder to believe tolerance of people who come to me).

It's going to be dim for a few days. Wish the sun would come back, as i suspect the intensity of today's depression is due to a lack of sun. I don't think i was this bad yesterday.

Comments

[metahacker.livejournal.com]

Majestic spears!! (http://imgur.com/gallery/hdOFtUs)

[artan]

*hug*

Yes, this is a good summary of the insidious nature of depression.

Sun will return soon, and is trending longer.

[johnpalmer.livejournal.com]

Nod. I've been moody the past few weeks, but I actually hit full blown depression last week. I was pleased that I noticed, but if I was having longer term issues, it would have been much harder to deal with the downturn.

Cuddling can help. And therapy might help too - group or individual - just for the validation. If *you* say "depression is lying" that's one thing. If your therapist or your group says "no, it's lying; just three weeks ago, you said X and now you're saying Never-X - so you know your brain is lying!" it's another.

But I hope you find some cuddling - it sounds a bit more happymaking than therapy :-).

[wispfox.livejournal.com]

I have a therapist, actually.

I did find some cuddling, which helped, and hopefully more tomorrow. :)