[links.sexuality]
Jun. 21st, 2005 11:06 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wispfoxVia ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
mactavish, ladytabitha, and ratatosk, a post by vito_excalibur, "No, I did not bring enough vaginas for everybody."
This post also links to, among other things, It’s that whole “‘no’ means ‘no,’ but we’re not going to teach you what a ‘yes’ is for fear that you’ll actually have sex” issue.
[edit because I didn't mean to post this as early as I accidentally did]
Yeah. There's more bloody lines than just "will have PIV sex" or "won't have PIV sex"!
And, I note, I had lingering bits of this excessive black-and-whiteness in my head at least as recently as '02-'03. Probably still picking bits of this out of my psyche. I knew, intellectually, that it was wrong, that there was more granularity, that it was ok to just want to kiss or make out or whatever. But I didn't know/understand/comprehend/_feel_ where I wanted my boundaries to be, or where they should be, or where I needed them to be. That's part of what I was trying to figure out during my self-enforced period of singlehood from '02 to '03, you see. Still firming it up, mind, but that was a significant part of my intensly internally-focused exploration.
And it's interesting to note, at least in my experience, that it's an awful lot harder to be verbal about sex, safer sex, and where one wants to go, if one doesn't know where one's boundaries lie. Probably partly because it's harder to tell when one should speak up!
mactavish, ladytabitha, and ratatosk, a post by vito_excalibur, "No, I did not bring enough vaginas for everybody." This post also links to, among other things, It’s that whole “‘no’ means ‘no,’ but we’re not going to teach you what a ‘yes’ is for fear that you’ll actually have sex” issue.
[edit because I didn't mean to post this as early as I accidentally did]
Yeah. There's more bloody lines than just "will have PIV sex" or "won't have PIV sex"!
And, I note, I had lingering bits of this excessive black-and-whiteness in my head at least as recently as '02-'03. Probably still picking bits of this out of my psyche. I knew, intellectually, that it was wrong, that there was more granularity, that it was ok to just want to kiss or make out or whatever. But I didn't know/understand/comprehend/_feel_ where I wanted my boundaries to be, or where they should be, or where I needed them to be. That's part of what I was trying to figure out during my self-enforced period of singlehood from '02 to '03, you see. Still firming it up, mind, but that was a significant part of my intensly internally-focused exploration.
And it's interesting to note, at least in my experience, that it's an awful lot harder to be verbal about sex, safer sex, and where one wants to go, if one doesn't know where one's boundaries lie. Probably partly because it's harder to tell when one should speak up!
