[mystic stuff] trancework

[wispfox]

I may finally have managed to get trancing and journeywork (or whatever word you use for it) under conscious control, not in the least because someone finally got through to me that it doesn't so much matter if what is happening is entirely a visualization, or is really happening. I think that finally got me to stop fighting it so hard.

And yes, I have determined that the feeling I sometimes get of not being firmly attached to my body is, in fact, exactly that. But now, if something in me is needing me to go wander enough for me to get to that state unintentionally, I know how to do something with it, rather than wander around in a partially tranced state and confusing everyone around me. (it really is very strange wandering around partially tranced - other people are there in my awareness, but completely not important) And hey! I can fully come _back_ when I want to. ;)

I'm also highly entertained by the fact that, at least in my head, I don't care if what I'm doing is entirely in my own mind or not. I'm apparently perfectly fine with accepting - at the same time - the possibility that I'm talking to things outside myself, and the possibility that I'm talking to myself. Probably because the result is the same, either way, and it's generally results that I care about (as long as I'm not causing unnecessary pain in the process).

If thinking of them as other beings, I appear to have three guides - two are animals spirits, who I already knew about (tigress and crow/raven - he seems to not be very good at deciding), and one is the being who I'd decided fairly early on was a goddess of some sort, in the 'knows weird shit, and sometimes tells it to me' kind of way. Might also simply be a very wise woman - that's certainly one of the guises I've spoken to her in!

If thinking of them as me, they seem to be parts of myself that I might not normally have access to or be able to hear clearly. Either way, I seem to generally learn things I already knew at some level but hadn't accepted, or needed to be reminded of.

Well, except in that I appear to have a random pendant when tranced, whose energy signature I need to find more examples of. *shakes head* I get the strangest things, sometimes. But dude! Shimmery pendant! (Ok, technically, the energy shimmers, not the pendant)

Now I'm wondering if the state I tended to get in very easily as recently as high school, where I was completely conscious of everything around me, but people thought I was asleep, and I never really wanted to move enough to try, was yet another example of me, tranced. If so, I did it a _lot_, my first year in high school.

And I wonder if the reason I seemed to so easily be able to hear things adults were talking about as if there were not children around was because there really _weren't_, and I was simply wandering around without my body, and not noticing. It's not like I was a particularly body-aware child! Was worse then than I am now. :) *shakes head* I mean, I suppose I was just _that_ good at being not noticed, but I have trouble believing that.

La. Now, I go play, and then sleep. I'm so _pleased_ at having conscious control over this now!