links.writings

The Joy of Movement, haikujaguar

This reminds me of last week when a nasty headache meant that I was navigating the house with a blindfold on. For places that I know well, and with a minimum of clutter, this is actually not all that difficult for me to do. I was able with minimal concern to navigate to a place that I could sit (where I do my lightboxing, where basically no one else sits. So I know where things are and are not going to be, and can rely on it) and eat the food that galaneia kindly provided for me (it's difficult to obtain food when I cannot see!).

And at some level, I _need_ to be able to do this. I suspect that this is why I have so much trouble if my surroundings are too cluttered. For an example, if I'm too depressed/busy to keep my room tidy, I get _stressed_ about it. This eventually causes me to find energy/time to clean up, due to sheer desperation.

I think part of it is that my uncorrected vision is terrible. So at night, I am largely blind-navigating. Not completely. Not to the degree of an actual blindfold. But largely. Especially since turning on a light wakes me up too much.

I think part may be that I'm a bit clumsy. I've got a lot of self-correction built in, but it requires that there be space to correct _in_. So clutter on surfaces that I'm trying to work on, around places I'm trying to move in, is _much_ higher effort for me to be comfortable in. And I will tend to knock things over and fall more often.

I think this is a lot of why I'm a bit neurotic about having places that I will need to use reasonably clear and tidy. The world is very difficult for me to cope with if my immediate surroundings are too crowded, whether by too much furniture, too much stuff, or too much clutter. Indeed, my room is a little uncomfortable with the amount of stuff in it right now, and this is not including the fact that I just unpacked my travel books and so they are taking up space (need to fix this tonight). It's tolerable, but it does make the fact that I'm fitting a bed, a desk, and two bookcases into space that isn't really that big... noticeable. I wonder if it's not that I necessarily need to have my computer in a different room from my bed, so much as just being able to have more separation between the two. Not really sure; my last few places included an office/guest room, and before that was college where you don't really get much space.

Random thoughts sparked by what is itself a very interesting post.