(no subject)

[wispfox]

Realized midway through falling asleep that some of the people reading my journal have not known me long enough to realize that seasonal crap is normal for me - it's been going on for more than a decade (since senior year of high school). I'll be fine. This time of year is just tough on me. And on anyone I'm close to, I suspect. Thus the warning.

Basically, I'll be low on patience, low on energy, high on moodiness, very touchy, and pretty easily irritated (indeed, earlier I snapped at my roommate for not 'having the right response'. *sigh*). And horrible at making decisions. And tend to seek out activities/situations/etc which act as uppers for me (for example, this is the one time of year I actually crave dark chocolate), not necessarily wisely. (In other words, for those who know the symptoms, clinically depressed. And the fact that I tend to have major trouble sleeping and need significantly more sleep as a part of it makes it worse)

Yes, I have light boxes. Yes, I use broad spectrum lights. No, heat doesn't help - it's a light-related thing. No, sleeping aids don't help - chemical sleep aids apparently can't do much when my mind simply refuses to shut the hell up.

Touch helps, affection helps, not having to make decisions helps, appropriate light sources help, getting enough sleep helps. I am apparently babbling at this point, possibly even repeating myself. So I'm stopping at this point, with the repetition that I *will* be ok. I've dealt with this for years. It just sucks. Big time.

Also... depending on your tolerance for depressing poetry, a couple poems I wrote back in '97 about this time of year's effect on me.

Comments

[aussie-nyc.livejournal.com]

Yowza. Looking forward to happier days for you.

[mrf-arch.livejournal.com]

*hugs* I'm sorry this time of year is so rough on you.

[rednikki.livejournal.com]

If my wife is not on this filter, can you put him on it? I think it would help him to hear the tales of people who are going through what he is.

Re: SAD

[wolfieboy.livejournal.com]

Good luck dealing with this. I know a few people around here that just cocoon up during the winter months. I appreciate you continuing to interact. It's good to get to know as much of the person as they are willing to share on LJ. Just getting your bright, sunny parts would not be as fulfilling.

[keyne.livejournal.com]

You kinda telescoped your poem links together there -- can you fix 'em?

[ladytabitha.livejournal.com]

Actually, quinnclub has this, except I think he also has mild chem-depression, as well.  So it's kind of interesting, if you don't mind my using that word to describe your condish, to read it from multiple people.

[wispfox.livejournal.com]

Fixed. Thanks.

[wispfox.livejournal.com]

He ought to be - this was only set to friends-only, and he's on my friends list.

Thought initially about making it more filtered, then realized that I didn't know who did and did not know enough about it, and had posted the initial post friends-only.

[wispfox.livejournal.com]

Mmm. Well, SAD *is* a chem-depression, so do you mean he has one that is year-round, as well?

Also, yes. I'm sure it is interesting from multiple perspectives. And probably oddly repetitive, for the most part. :)

[wispfox.livejournal.com]

I know a few people around here that just cocoon up during the winter months.

I frequently wish I could. But one of the things that helps is non-effortful interaction, especially cuddling (it's why it's taken this long for it to be *really* bad. This month is always the worst one, but normally this degree of difficulty has started before now).

And cocooning only means I get to live in my head and spiral, badly. Not a good idea...

[wispfox.livejournal.com]

Thanks. *returns the hug*

And, me, too. But I *like* this area, to live in. And I haven't yet traveled enough to know where else I might like to live that might be a bit further south.

[wispfox.livejournal.com]

Heh! Ditto.