wispfox | [rant] Evite

[rant] Evite

In an entirely different train of thought, excuse me for a moment while I rant.

I _hate_ evites. I will follow them, and use them, since I mostly only get them from people I have some desire to actually stay in contact with and attend the parties of.

However, evites don't contain date, time, general idea of party in the email subject line or body. This makes them immensely annoying if I am not yet sure if I want to attend a party and want to decide later, because it's harder for me to use the email as a reminder to myself to make a decision, as there is no timing information in the email. I am _far_ less likely to have time/initiative to follow a link in my email than to just re-read my email.

I hate having to go to a website just to tell someone if I want to attend a party. The high annoyance factor has meant that it's entirely possible for a party I'm not sure about to be something I don't attend, either because I forget to decide, or because I just don't want to handle the annoyance.

Additionally, evite party invites tend to have huge, highly-visible-in-the-invite guest lists, so I can never quite shake the feeling of my presence not really being particularly important to the invitee, which also tends to make me less interested in attending. I seem to get a stronger sense of actively being wanted at a party if the invite and party information is sent via email, _even if I know the party, guest list, and distribution list are huge_. Considering that I rarely actively want to attend large group parties due to energy levels, this makes a significant difference in my interest.

Yeesh. I can tell it's no longer winter because people are sending out evites again.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Completely with you in every aspect of this post.

Completely agreed, with the additional aspect that I really don't like my friends giving my email to corporations. When I give out my email to a corporation, I create a new one for each, that I can shut down if I start getting spam. I do not trust any corporation not to sell my email (think bankruptcy and purchase).

I hate evites.

Hey, look at it this way... someone bothered to send you an invitation to a birthday party because they wanted to see you there. They didn't have to. They could've chosen to leave your email off and make like they didn't remember your email address. If you like, they can leave you off next time to avoid the hassle of receiving such an invite, if the chosen media is that offensive. Really. No sweat.

*chuckle*

a) there's multiples of the things, not just one (in other words, this isn't directed at anyone)

b) I said that I _do_ still follow them, regardless of my dislike for them, _because I mostly only get them from people I have some desire to actually stay in contact with and attend the parties of_.

that's like saying "don't bother spell checking invites you send out, and send them in crimson text on a black background that many people would find hard to parse". because hey, you're sending them at all, which shows you care.

That's assuming that it's obvious that what you're sending out is difficult to deal with and obnoxious. Last time I checked, evites were neither (by my perspective) and I prefer them over mass emails any day, which get lost in my inbox, are hard to keep track of, and are often deleted.

If someone simply took the time to let me know that it was a problem, I'd send them emails instead of an evite. Period, the end. We're adults here, after all. Communication is a happy thing.

We're adults here, after all

[monty python] I'm not! [/monty python]

Ehem.

That said...

If someone simply took the time to let me know that it was a problem

Problem with this is that there are simply too many people sending out evites for it to generally be worth it to say something every time, and it's often difficult for me to remember who I have said something to.

Because evites _are_ so much easier for the inviter, and because I would prefer to receive an evite than nothing at all (which is the likely result in most cases, since I know that _I_ would certainly have trouble remembering who requested what), I'm also hesitant to request being removed from the evite lists of people whose parties I would like to attend. If I never made it to any evite parties, ever, I'd not worry about being removed. But I do make it to some; just fewer than I would if they were not evite-based.

Yeah, they are much easier, which is why I use them. They're also easier for me when I get them. I'm a lot more likely to remember events that way, because my memory for social events is NOT what it used to be.

In any event, you're the only one so far who's had a prob with them (at least as far as I know), and I don't mind collecting a small list of people who'd rather receive invitations via email versus evites, and just keep track that way. Less drama, aggravation, and fuss for people in the long run. ^_^

That's assuming that it's obvious that what you're sending out is difficult to deal with and obnoxious. Last time I checked, evites were neither (by my perspective)

it being how you perceive it does not necessarily translate to others viewing it the same. unfortunately, people don't tend to look at things from all angles, and even if they did it would be hard to think of every possible reaction.

my point was though, saying "whatever, you don't need to receive it at all" places everything on the person who doesn't like the method of inviting, and nothing on the host to make receiving invites easy/pleasant for their guests.

Hence why I said if you let the person know to send an email instead, all of this stupid drama could be avoided.

Communication. It's what's for dinner.

yes, you did say that. but certainly not in the original comment i replied to.

as your icon says, whatever. i'm not the one looking at getting invites or not from you. i just thought what you wrote was a little one-sided & written as if you took the rant as a personal attack, and i knew at least part of what likely sparked wispfox's rant was a poll that someone on our respective friends lists posted about whether or not people hate evite.

This LJDrama brought to you by Mercury in retrograde, destroyers of fine communication everywhere. ^_^

I evites because my friends are essentially giving my email to a third-party website without asking me. But I've mostly given up worrying about it, and only feel a brief prickle of annoyance now when I get one.

I suspect a large part of my irritation with them is the significantly higher amount of effort involved with them for me, unless I happen to immediately and actively _know_ I want to attend. In that particular case, the irritation is brief and minor.

The problem comes in if I don't know how I feel about a party, because it's much more difficult for me to keep track of such things with insufficient info in the email.

On the one hand, Evite is useful for the party planners. If I am planning a party, I have one convenient tool wherein which I can enter the time, date, location, and description of the party, as well as invite people just by entering in their email addresses. Guests can confirm their attendance (definite/potential/lack of) by clicking on the link in the email and going to the page. It's very useful, and very slick in that sense, and for these things, I approve.

On the other hand:
- Evite is a huge clunky ad-driven pile of crap that probably increases spam.
- I have the exact same behaviour-responses to evites, regarding not usually getting back to them on time, because it takes action to determine the date and time, and sometimes I'm very lazy.

I'd prefer two corrective things to happen:
- Evite either puts in date/time in the email, OR Evite allows evite emails to contain a brief message from the party planner.
- Someone writes some decent evite-esque software.

In fact,

mindlace (

veek's husband) wrote something nifty for their wedding this past weekend, so I might go investigate that, and see if I can make it into something I like and want to use. Then I can have

penghuin use it, as well, since he's far more likely to throw parties than I am.

And then, once I get the Castle Anthrax (http://www.castle-anthrax.org) server up and running... clearly, this is a "projects" memory if ever I saw one.

Aaanyways. Thanks for the reminder, though; I'll be posting in a sec to have people evite a separate address.

One of my friends runs DaVite on his server which is a lot like Evite with no ads. I don't know what it's like to adminstrate, but from the invitee POV I love it.

That's deeply neat. Would it be possible for me to take a look at it (from the user endpoint, I know)? If you don't want it publicked, but you are inclined to share it, you can email the link to my username at livejournal dot com.

*hee!*

I wasn't really comfortable giving out the url my friend uses for his personal invites, but upon googling found:

http://marginalhacks.com/Hacks/DaVite/

Evite is useful for the party planners

Yeah, I am aware, at some level. But I don't plan parties hardly ever, and those tend to be small ones.

- Evite either puts in date/time in the email, OR Evite allows evite emails to contain a brief message from the party planner.
- Someone writes some decent evite-esque software.

Ooooh. Want! Preferably date/time in subject line!

I might go investigate that, and see if I can make it into something I like and want to use.

*curious*

1) Oh ayuh. Just suggesting why people might use it ever, despite the fact that it is Espam.

2) Hell, I'd be satisfied with *anywhere in the email*. I mean, I've received general emailed invites to parties, where the date/time isn't in the subject, but it is in the body, and that's fine.

3) Same here!

I have enough friends who don't have Internet accounts at home (or in some cases, at all) that I don't even use e-mail to invite people to parties. I either send a hand-written invitation, or I get on the phone and call them.

don't even use e-mail to invite people to parties.

*nod* Were I to have friends without email addresses, I would modify to some combination of the things you suggest.

Of the two, I'd probably do written (typed and printed), simply because it's easier to refer to and because I personally remember things written down more easily.

I'm with you on this. Evite bad, m'kay?

*laugh* Nice icon. ;)

I'm actually pretty fond of evites.

I like receiving them because it gives me a better idea of who else might be there, how big the party will be, etc. This can help me make a more informed decision as to whether or not I'll be compatable with the party, either personality wise or mood wise. (Is it a huge party where there isn't anyone I know attending -- I've got to be feeling pretty social to go to one of those; Are there lots of people there I'll know -- even if it's a big party, I'll probably feel pretty comfortable there; etc.)

I like sending them 'cause, well, it fits in well with my tendancies towards obsessive checking. You can see if someone has actually looked at the evite (an assurance you don't get with email -- relevant when you're inviting people that you don't keep in touch with often enough to know the address is current). And you can even see each time they look at it, until they actually reply. It's almost like getting email -- ooh, look, X looked at my evite again!

Just a bit of the other side of the story. :)

who else might be there, how big the party will be, etc.

If I'm concerned, I will ask. In fact, I think I generally tend to ask, for any party whose size/invitees I don't know.

And you can even see each time they look at it, until they actually reply. It's almost like getting email -- ooh, look, X looked at my evite again!

Didn't know it told you when people looked. That's kinda neat. :)

I think my main problem with them, from the invitee perspective, is simply that they work _very_ poorly with how I work, and generally tend to result in me not attending evite-based parties.

All some pretty good arguements for not having evite-only parties! I will keep that in mind if I ever throw a party and try and remember to send out an email-based version too, for those people who don't get the same obsessive-checking thrill out of them that I do. ('Cause, really, I think that's what my enjoyment of them comes down to.)

:)

All some pretty good arguements for not having evite-only parties!

YES!

And really, that's all that's needed to defuse my initial reaction to evites. Don't make them just evite. Just like I dislike it when people make party invites solely through LiveJournal (which might be worse, since one doesn't even get email about it).

obsessive-checking thrill out of them that I do. ('Cause, really, I think that's what my enjoyment of them comes down to.)

*laugh* That's a really amusing reason for evites. :)

Bizarre. I'd never even heard of this thing you were ranting about prior to this rant :) Sounds completely stupid that the email doesn't contain any information about date & time! It seems like the company is hung up that the internet=the web, and no one would ever want to look at something text-only if they could look at something big and flashy with lots of adverts on...

So I take it a bcc text-only email sent from the party holder with all the information included is fine?

So I take it a bcc text-only email sent from the party holder with all the information included is fine?

Not only fine, _wonderful_. :)

Sounds completely stupid that the email doesn't contain any information about date & time!

Well, considering they want you to load their page and view their ads, it's not that stupid from their POV...

But, wow, is it irritating! ;)

My reasons are somewhat different from yours, but add me to the list of people who don't like evites.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[rant] Evite

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My 2cents

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