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brain bits
The problem with being really fascinated by good/needed conversation is that I _always_ wake up completely for it (if, of course, it's possible for me to do), no matter what time of day it is. I don't _regret_ good conversation (gods, no!), but I'm certainly very very happy about having some time to sleep in tomorrow morning.
If nothing else, this weekend will be _busy_, so not being exhausted would be good. :)
I find it amusing that I can't quite write the way I speak, or no one would ever know what I'm trying to say. Something about rarely actually _finishing_ sentences that I start, since people tend to know what I'm saying before I manage to finish. Hell, half the time I don't actually manage to successfully _start_ my spoken sentences. I can't figure out how I ever communicated at _all_ before I typed everything - in fact, I'm not entirely sure I _did_, at least not very well.
Much as it may slightly weird me out to have the idea of 'doing everything right' applied to me (it does! Partly because it implies doing these things consciously, and partly because it's going to be more than a bit of a shock when I finally _don't_ do something 'right'), it _also_ means I fight impulses less, since the things I do instinctively are what's right. Which is interesting, partly because I think of myself as one who fights impulses more or less constantly (regardless of how much that comes across to people not in my head).
I also seem to no longer be able to relax into any kind of relationship if the other people/person involved are not relaxed into it/them. Probably a defense mechanism (uncertain relationships are _not_ good for my mental health!), but it certainly complicates things. I appear to need to be able to _know_/feel/sense/experience the other people/person's comfort in order to _be_ comfortable. Makes me wonder how the hell I _ever_ find people I'm comfortable with, really! Does explain why not being able to read people completely fucks with my comfort around them, though. (and I still want to know why I refer to sensing of emotions as 'tasting'. 'Tis odd, since sensing of emotions is a _very_ strong thing for me, and taste is _not_)
Yeah, ok. I think that's all of what my brain wanted to be contemplating today. (see, the thing about conversation is that it sparks this kind of stuff in my head, and very generically - doesn't matter who the conversation was with, nor the context. My brain will just grab things that it finds interesting or strange, and run with them. And will try to find 'why's of them.)
If nothing else, this weekend will be _busy_, so not being exhausted would be good. :)
I find it amusing that I can't quite write the way I speak, or no one would ever know what I'm trying to say. Something about rarely actually _finishing_ sentences that I start, since people tend to know what I'm saying before I manage to finish. Hell, half the time I don't actually manage to successfully _start_ my spoken sentences. I can't figure out how I ever communicated at _all_ before I typed everything - in fact, I'm not entirely sure I _did_, at least not very well.
Much as it may slightly weird me out to have the idea of 'doing everything right' applied to me (it does! Partly because it implies doing these things consciously, and partly because it's going to be more than a bit of a shock when I finally _don't_ do something 'right'), it _also_ means I fight impulses less, since the things I do instinctively are what's right. Which is interesting, partly because I think of myself as one who fights impulses more or less constantly (regardless of how much that comes across to people not in my head).
I also seem to no longer be able to relax into any kind of relationship if the other people/person involved are not relaxed into it/them. Probably a defense mechanism (uncertain relationships are _not_ good for my mental health!), but it certainly complicates things. I appear to need to be able to _know_/feel/sense/experience the other people/person's comfort in order to _be_ comfortable. Makes me wonder how the hell I _ever_ find people I'm comfortable with, really! Does explain why not being able to read people completely fucks with my comfort around them, though. (and I still want to know why I refer to sensing of emotions as 'tasting'. 'Tis odd, since sensing of emotions is a _very_ strong thing for me, and taste is _not_)
Yeah, ok. I think that's all of what my brain wanted to be contemplating today. (see, the thing about conversation is that it sparks this kind of stuff in my head, and very generically - doesn't matter who the conversation was with, nor the context. My brain will just grab things that it finds interesting or strange, and run with them. And will try to find 'why's of them.)
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http://www.livejournal.com/users/fanw/47130.html
Like, now.
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Facial Interpretation (http://www.gladwell.com/2002/2002_08_05_a_face.htm) (and Reproduction) research by Paul Ekman
Eyes test (http://growe.homeip.net/BaronCohen/Faces/EyesTest.aspx)
Re: Brain bits
It seems natural that you wouldn't type the way you speak. There aren't all the non-verbal clues nor the energetic interactions. In-person (or sometimes over the phone), it's easy to tell when someone has what you are talking about and leave off there. I've had conversations with good rapport watched from the outside and told later than neither of the two us in the conversation spoke more than 2-3 words per sentence and the person watching got very confused.
For me, at least, doing everything right generally means that I'm not doing things consciously. If I try to do them that way, logic gets in the way and logic seems to play little part in the events around me. They say that the final stage of learning is 'unconscious knowing' and that seems to fit here...
Being an empath, it makes sense that you would only be relaxed in a relationship where the other person is relaxed. It's not necessary but frequently in a relationship, one tries to be closer to the other person and therefore picking up on the other persons impressions as well. (Does this make sense? This paragraph doesn't feel clear like the other two do.)
Re: Brain bits
Unconscious knowing=automated processes in cognitive psychology... Interesting... This applies particularly to physical processes such as driving a car or swimming.
It's not necessary but frequently in a relationship, one tries to be closer to the other person and therefore picking up on the other persons impressions as well.
[Mental rephrasing] Frequently in relationships, one tries to be closer to the other person, physically and emotionally. Thus, their emotions are picked up. If they're not comfortable, that transfers to you in mental frustration/discomfort. You become uncomfortable because you don't know why they're uncomfortable. If you do know why, you want to fix it. If that fixing's not possible, then things start getting really dicey.[/mental rephrasing]
Sense? *crosses fingers*
I disagree with your statement that it's not necessary, but I may be projecting my need for emotional closeness to everyone else, when I recognize that isn't the case.
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To me, yes.
I also disagree that it is not necessary, but I suppose it depends on the relationship in question.
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Yes. And I kept saying that, because something about 'doing everything right' make me nervous because my head thinks it implies that it's _conscious_.
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If nothing else, this weekend will be _busy_, so not being exhausted would be good. :)
*nods* The right types of conversation (almost) always take priority over sleep for me. If sleep's the priority, then I'm truly exhausted...
I do physically regret late conversations the next morning though. *grumblesigh*
*nods* Always busy... *sigh* Not unbusy until a bit in August, and then Fall semester starts right after that.
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Yes. Yes, indeed. Which is why I'm so tired for the last week. ;)
I do physically regret late conversations the next morning though.
Also yes! *yawn*
Not unbusy until a bit in August, and then Fall semester starts right after that.
Wow. Why so busy?
Busy-ness
And boi. *pouts at lack of teleportation*
It's not that I lack free time... it's that I should spend it doing homework. Always long-term committments. Ah well... I had my ~5 weeks of vacation earlier in the summer. Must be contented with that.
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Good conversation is...
Unself-conscious. Meandering. Full of laughter as well as exploration. It has no goal, and yet much is often discussed.
I'm having a really difficult time explaining this! Did any of this get any closer to answering you?